Esther Austin's Inspirational Oasis of Knowledge

How to Deal with your Emotions - The Mother and Daughter Relationship

2011-04-04T14:16:00.000-07:00

Dear Unique Everyone

Wishing you a Happy, Hippy Summer? Isn’t the weather just gorgeous, then again isn’t the weather wonderful all the time. It just depends upon how we experience it all!! – There I go again I can hear some of you say.

I have had so many people contact me to say when will I be sending out my newsletters on a more regular basis. Apologies, but here I am!!

Many of you may know that I lost my younger sister to breast cancer 4 years ago. That in itself was an incredibly painful journey to watch and to walk alongside of. It was never a place I would want to venture myself. Yet recently, my mother was diagnosed with cancer in her large and small bowel which were both removed on Thursday last week.

Up until now, I have felt greatly challenged by my relationship with my mother. I have been working on me around this for the best part of three years. Up until two years ago, I was not able to sit in a room with my mother on long occasions as my inner child would simply freeze and withdraw and I’d be bound by fear. If my mother looked at me, I was unable to look her fully in the eye as I still felt and saw through my eyes the condemnation and criticism that I had grown up with. Then two years ago, when she came to visit me, I realised I did not want to live my life fearing her anymore and had to do something about how I was dealing with this.

I went for some healing around this and I had to explore many aspects of our relationship, lay my soul bare, and then put me back together - OUCH. Yet what helped to release me and start me on my journey was learning to accept who I was at that moment in time without judgement, without criticism, simply Esther for who she was. My next step then was to accept that my mother did the best that she did with the knowledge that she had at the time when I was a child and I had to acknowledge that. I also had to acknowledge that she too was a product of her childhood – one where she lost both her parents very early in life and where she knew only the burden of working. Coming to this country also had its own tremendous challenges and life became one of survival. My next step was to learn to love me more and then, hopefully, my mother.

I am still at a place where I am mindful and working through this relationship. I do not blame my mother for how she was, yet I reacted to how I felt she was towards me. What has helped me to build a relationship with my mother is Esther working from a place of love. (Not always easy as on occasion I still walk out the room because at that moment in time, I am not ready nor in a place to handle how I feel.) However, having the above understanding means I can respectfully and non-judgementally sit with her, speak with her and be there in whatever supportive capacity I can be, but also that I no longer choose to enrol into her dramas, if she so choose to play them out and I am mindful of my own dramas as well.

Yet isn’t life simply a paradoxical play on the stage of life. On Thursday when my sister and I went to visit her and attended the ward she was supposed to be on, her bed was not there. At once I felt slight panic whelm up within me. We then went to the nurses station to find out what had happened as the day prior to this, her operation had been at 12pm and by 8pm there was still no sign of her. Waiting for the nurse to find out where my mother was, I was suddenly overwhelmed with a sense of “not again” as memories of my late sister started to come through. This also got me thinking – do we really have to wait to come to a place of realising what is important or to deal with ‘stuff’ when someone dies? Because if this is what it was going to take for me to shape up then I had more serious contemplating to do. Yet again, I challenged myself with this line of thought. I too was mindful that I was doing my best in terms of my emotions at this moment in time, and that being truthful and honest with myself may not mean I would be overtly huggy and blowing kisses at my mother – I had to keep things real. Yet I could kiss and greet my mother on the cheek and help to nurture her back to health – and for me that is operating from a place of love.

A beautiful quote by Louise Hay, Author says “Love is everywhere, I am loving and lovable.” The more I repeat this quote is the more I have been able to feel acceptance for what I need to do. This quote has served to resonate so far into me that it brings a sense of peace and calm and knowing that love really is the key.

I still have a journey to go. We may not always like what we are faced with, which is often ourselves, yet when we learn to become non-judgemental about ourselves or situation and just to accept it for what it is, then it is easier to face those so called ‘demons’ in order for us to learn whatever lessons we need to learn, so that we can then embrace life more fully and abundantly.

My lesson here I feel is one of many and that is of compassion, of continuing the work on being non-judgemental and always trying to be present from that place of love.

I have been working with a few clients whose lives have been paralysed by words, deeds and actions, criticisms, put downs by their parents and other people. One client has internalised her experienced so profoundly that her pain is so deep that she even fears to hug her own children for fear she contaminates them. When she looked at me last week with tears in her eyes to say “Esther, I just want to release this stuff so that I can be me, I have never been me” – This is why I do the work I do, why Qarma Broadcast will be one of the many mediums through which I can reach out to share knowledge and to empower peoples lives, along with all those wonderful people who share their stories and knowledge with you over the airwaves.

“If we were more aware of our own shadow, we would not be afraid to look in the mirror”

“Be the change you want to see in the world”

Esther Austin

I want to fly

2010-12-23T15:54:00.000-08:00

I want to fly
Surfing the wings of the clouds
Orbiting between
the dimensions of time and space
Within the spaces
Touching my soul against the
Moon and stars
Releasing fear
Into the bosom of eternity
And grasping life
Within the present moment
embracing, cuddling into this here space
Whilst also looking, expectantly out
At the maelstrom of opportunities
That rise to greet me
In abundance

E Austin
December 2010

Being in a Good Space Emotionally

2010-11-02T15:03:00.001-07:00

Dear Everyone

Well how is everyone? Isn’t it getting cosy as the winter months draw in. It’s time to hibernate a little, draw back and away from and spend more time with you, in the cosiness of your space. What a great feeling this is, to be able to spend time with you – that is if you remember who you are. Why do I say this? Because often times in the busyness of life, we forget who we are, we forget to nurture ourselves, we forget to give time to ourselves. Because until we nurture and love ourselves first, we cannot nurture nor love others.

I am also in a good space emotionally. I have loved someone for a very long time, but that has very much been a static love, built on a good friendship and attraction but nothing more at this moment in time. It’s all about timing this life.

So when I was presented with someone who caught my fancy so to speak, not long ago, offering to give me a hug and to hold me, I blanched at the idea. When it comes to intimate relationships, I have always kept my boundaries very clear and kept men out. Yet I didn’t realise that I was also keeping myself out, and keeping my heart shut down. My heart had been shut down for quite a while actually. I was stunned by this as trying to open up was painful and disconcerting. When I was offered a hug, the way I reacted, showed me how much I had never really experienced love in such a genuine, honest , open way. Yet this was now happening because of the work I have and continue to do on myself and to a change in my beliefs about me and my expectations for my life. My issues were to do with trust and feeling safe. Boy, here we go again with another aspect of me to heal and deal with I thought!

Now that I have decided to allow myself to open up, it has been quite a surreal journey. I got tired of being on my own, I got tired, very tired of doing this journey by myself, yet I was not open to just having anyone walk into my life. I had to learn to ask God and the universe to provide me with a relationship which honoured my highest self, and to realise that I was deserving of only the best in my life. I had no specific details or check list of anyone, other than they honoured my highest self and vice versa.

The beauty of this journey is that who I am now has been informed by what I have experienced. On an emotional level, it's good to almost be back to self-loving me which in turn means I can love someone else, whoever that person is. Actually I don’t think I was never on this level with anyone ever in my life – so I should say that it’s good to be able to look forward to exploring and experiencing something truly wonderful. More importantly is the ability to honestly and openly communicate and to be open to unconditional love first of the self, then for another.

I believe that everything that happens in life is for a reason and a season. At this moment in time this is my season and I am taking each day as it comes. For me any experience now is not about how long it lasts, but more so the quality of the time spent with and the joy and love that experienced. There is a saying it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved before. This current journey has been short but sweet. It took for one person to hug me and spend time with me to enable the love to flow into me one that I have not experienced for a very long time. It simply was a very short-lived journey but so valuable in terms of who I am now.

I came across this phrase on youtube: 'How can you manifest the heart's desire? The solution is simply to just act'

Many blessings and much love

It is Better to Have Loved and Lost than Not to have Loved at All

2010-10-15T14:15:00.001-07:00

Hello Everyone.

Music is a powerful medium. Words are powerful energies which flow into our world.

I would like you to listen to some of the words in this song by Luther Van Dross. They are deep and reflect how when we love unconditionally another, and make that choice to do so, then even for the briefest of moments, we can choose to enjoy a love that sits within our heart and soul.

When we get to a place where we no longer can dream, believe in love or have a passion for life and exist on an emptyness which cannot even pervade our reality and where we live off charades and pretences and being what we are not - then what is this journey all about?

Is not this journey about finding our soul purpose and finding that expression of joy in our hearts? Any walk is about finding true peace and love of self and life itself. And when we operate on emptyness whatever we deliver reflects how we feel inside.

Luther Van Dross - I'd Rather Be

There is a line in this songs which says:

'I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else. I'd rather be beside you in a storm than safe and warm by myself. I'd rather have hard times together than to have it easy apart. I'd rather have the one that holds my heart"

Everything is for a reason and season. Have a listen. Music is powerful. Words are powerful. Belief in what we are is powerful. Yet Beliefs are not always the truth.

Much love to you all and just have a think about what you truly want in your life. Often times wee make choices which we feel do not serve our higher purpose, yet for every choice made, the experience of it influences who we then become.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wlDKqCVhLE

Our greatest expression of self is love which you cannot only speak about and write about becauseit is something that you feel.

Much love and many blessings

LEARNING TO TRUST IN THE UNIVERSE, LETTING GO AND LET GOD

2010-10-08T10:00:00.000-07:00

It’s been a while, since I penned my thoughts. There has been a lot of shifting and changing going on over the past few months in my life on quite a large scale. Such has been the shift that The Beacon Healing Space which I was due to launch – I had to cancel at the last minute. A matter of standing in my integrity and as a matter of principle.

Sometimes on this journey, we are presented with experiences and it is dependent upon how we view those experiences, which then informs how we approach life.
Sometimes these experiences come at us fast and furious. As soon as one hurdle has been tackled another immediately presents itself to us. In the frustration of such presentations, we can often become so caught up in the jumping that we fail to stand back before the leap, to view the panoramic view of the situation around us, to exhale and to go in gently and objectively rather than with haste and fear. And that is what has been happening to me.

I must admit to being a workaholic. I create ideas quickly and easily and then va va vroom after them. Yet, I say with tail between legs, this has not proved productive, having my hands in too many pots. This is something which I fall into on occasion which meant I had to go back to the drawing board to really re-brand and specifically define what my business offered, to re-discover my USP and to be specific where I put my energy into.

Therefore as I now look back over the past two months more so, they have been incredibly frustrating for me and as a result I have been yo-yoing emotionally. Bat and ball, hell no, boomerang it felt like, back at me all the time. The past two weeks therefore have proved to be a time of enormous shifts where the universe forced me to stop, take stock, properly this time Esther (so says she again tail further between legs....peeps this is an admission I don’t really want to make) and to get some rest. I slept so much last week and the week before you’d think I hadn’t slept the whole year. Yet I also realise part of the tiredness was because I was growing spiritually which often means I retreat and sleep a lot.

I have been reading the most amazing books one ‘Conversations with God’ by Neale Donald Walsch now ‘The Power of Now’ by Eckhart Tollie. So much incredible learning in those books. So much so that I chose to take away and evaluate about me. One thing that comes to mind was the mention of the two spectrums which many of us operate from. Fear or Love. Dependent therefore on which end of the spectrum we operate from, this drives our experience of life and how we experience the experience. I have also been learning more about trusting and totally letting GO. Believe me at times I was still holding on to the letting go. Then my eldest son said something this week which made me take a step back. Remember out of the mouth of Babes....... He said believing that you can get what you ask for was like posting a letter. If you post the letter, you have to let it go, in order for it to drop into the letter box in order for it to arrive at its destination. But if you put your hand in the letterbox and still hold onto the letter, you have not posted it and it cannot arrive.

Therefore, when we learn to trust in God/The Universe (whatever you call your higher source) then we know we are being divinely guided. Yet when we slip off that pathway with our own agenda, that is when pain and doubt and fear creeps in. Hard dough.

The journey of being an entrepreneur is fraught with many ‘challenges’ and note I place that word in parenthesis because it is how we perceive what we are going through, which therefore informs how we deal with situations. Yet my learning this year more so than ever has been amazing. The tests I have been given I know have been to inform who I am learning to ‘be’, to inform how I operate in this world and to inform and educate me for the work I am doing and will continue to do.
But basically in a nutshell I had to learn to ‘LET GO AND LET GOD’ do his thing and you know what, what a relief. I can see the woods through the trees, there is a fresh sense of purpose and yes, tail still between the legs, but I had a lot of adjustments to make about how I was thinking and even to look at my belief structure.

I often reflect and look at whatever I do and how I personally operate. I always go back to what Mahatma Ghandi once said “Be the change you want to see in the world.” When we can reflect upon who we are and our actions and then watch how they play out on the external of us, we can truly learn many valuable lessons which ultimately empower who we are.

I am feeling very different now. After much reflecting I realise I needed to experience all that I did so that I could be fully present to open myself up to trusting what is already in my space. This has also taught me to be ever present with the attitude of gratitude, to say thank you even when I feel that the tide has turned, leaving me on the shore, tired, washed out and wondering - where to next? Ah haaaaaaa

Sending you all much love always

LIFE IS A KALIEDOSCOPE - MEDITATIVE VIDEO WITH POETRY

2010-06-18T09:50:00.000-07:00

This poem speaks about life in all its complexity and glory.

Author and poet, Esther Austin beautifully narrates this poem

How I tripped into a deluge of Doubt - Week ending Friday 18th June 2010

2010-06-18T08:59:00.000-07:00

This week has taken me on a roller coaster of a journey with ‘doubt’ my 6 legged friend. Doubt being the main hub with fear, frustration, loneliness and its other For three or four days this week I struggled. I got up one morning and self doubt assailed me like a tomb, I actually felt my energy levels take a dive. For once in a very very long time, I felt as if I wasn’t doing enough, as if business was static and with those feelings I found myself becoming more and more frustrated.

I felt that I should be doing more and began to question what was I doing wrong. All of a sudden I felt like a failure. There was also something very important playing on my mind. The inability to express myself and feelings in terms of a particular situation, as I am a person who likes to express, and that frustration coupled with this sudden onset of insecurity and not feeling good enough almost drove me to tears yesterday.

The urge to speak to someone was so strong, to express how I felt, to talk the pain out of my heart, to just get out what had built up inside, to speak out my pain because I had begun to feel pain and I was aching inside. Aching for an intimacy to be had in my life, aching from the frustration of working so hard and ‘feeling’ I was still not doing enough.

These feelings had been building up since Saturday. There is a saying that no man is an island and certainly for me, someone who spends an incredible amount of time on her own, which I enjoy by the way, made me also realise that I needed to stick my head up from my computer and papers and seek the comfort and company of a good friend or two, which was such a blessing.

As I poured out my heart to this special lady, she suddenly said (as she is highly intuitive and psychic) you need a break, you are working so hard, there is one piece to the puzzle that is keeping you in this position and that is you need to promote yourself more widely, so that you can generate more clients, then you can get a break. You are carrying a lot. I must admit I am a workaholic and therefore, I have told those close to me to shake me out of my spot once a week to do something, to get me out and about. Yet this week was such a learning curve for me. The universe allowed me to become vulnerable. I didn’t particularly like the feeling, but I had to be taken there to a place where I got so frustrated that I wanted to cry and even then, I couldn’t because I was trying to hold onto sanity and therefore at that moment by shedding tears – I would’ve crumpled.

Last night, I spent a while speaking with another dear friend. He listened and I shared, then he shared and we came away both feeling better and even healed from being able to release. I just needed to talk things through at a very deep level. A level of consciousness that went deep, as I needed to go there. I looked at how I was handling me. I looked at how I was feeling about me and this situation. I looked at me from every angle possible and just having the space to talk and to release and to get it out was so powerful and in the space of analysing, I also knew I was being too hard on myself, constantly pushing the bar to the next level and not totally being present to embrace life as it was presented to me at that moment in time.

Today I do not ache as much as I have been over the past 3-4 days, because what I had to learn to do yesterday was to accept a few situations as they were, to pull back from having any expectation whatsoever and to know that everything was in divine order and to allow the universe and God to work in their mysterious and magical way. I am calmer and learning to fall back into me again and to trust. I have also learned to just accept my feelings and to know it is ok to feel what I feel. Isn’t that the beauty of love, to know it is ok to love.

Once in a while I slip off my train which hurtles through life. I have learned especially this year to enjoy the scenery as I go along by slowing it down a little. I often take myself off for bike rides and find the most remote of places where I can just sit in open space and dream or meditate. Or I head off for long walks along river banks and parks and other outdoors spaces. I love the outdoors as it nurtures and replenishes and revitalises me.

Today, this message is simply to say that NO MAN IS AN ISLAND. I had to reach out to a few people yesterday. Those close to me and whom I trust. But most of all I had to learn to fall back into the arms of God and the universal flow of energy. I was at the end of my tether, I was tired, I was aching. I needed to share and to feel as if I was being heard. For once, I wanted to be the one someone listened to.
So once again remember, NO MAN IS AN ISLAND.

Esther

Unconditional Love and Respect

2010-06-10T17:05:00.000-07:00

(These get it - Unconditional Love - ahhhhh)

Unconditional love is a term that means to love someone regardless of one's actions or beliefs. It is a concept comparable to true love, a term which is more frequently used to describe love between lovers. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unconditional_love

This word has become another one of those clichéd and over-used words amongst many other words which in their simplicity have very profound meanings . Words which not only empower, carry impact and emotion, but which define a richness of humanity’s core essence, a platform upon which standards and values are created and built on. Yet many of these words have been reduced to a drizzle of their former meanings.
Love, more so unconditional love is a gift which many of us never experience in life, because society dictates that conditions are placed on this feeling. A feeling which embodies healthy communication, honesty, integrity, friendship, unity, togetherness yet individuality. How we experience receiving and giving love is usually dependent upon various factors i.e our parents, upbringing, life experiences, our perception of life who we think we are etc, etc.

Therefore, many people lower their standards in order to accommodate sub-standard levels of love which can often be dictated by control, manipulation and conditions, disempowering our true authentic selves, where we loose our sense of identity. Yet, to be fair, because we all seek to be loved individuals will put up with even a little bit of love.

Unconditional love has nothing to do with power, nor manipulation. It is not about switching your emotions on when you feel like it and then turning them off. Unconditional love is a forever feeling in constant flow. When we learn to stand within our own truth and understanding; when we learn to truly love who we are, without external things defining who we are such as status, an over-extended ago, then we will not only receive unconditional love and understand its concepts, but we can also give unconditional love and know that we deserve it.

Many have learned to live with abuse in the name of love and therefore have tendencies to believe that this is a norm. Whilst others feel that love may never pass their way, so they allow themselves to put up with substandard behaviour from others and even engage in surface relationships where they can avoid making a commitment.

The Beatles once sang “all we need is love, ” Tina Turner sang “What’s love got to do with it?” Love is the universal force which holds the very fabric of life together and is certainly what makes the world go around.

A journey into the self is the only way we can truly learn to appreciate the beautiful gestures that love gifts us with. A journey into exploring who we are, how to love ‘ME’ or re-learn how to love ‘ME’ again and in the process learning how to draw RESPECT from that journey. Once we learn to love ourselves and realise that we deserve the highest possible best and outcome for our lives in and with the intention of love then we are sure to be presented with the most nourishing and honest friendships and relationships.

I have been doing much reflecting of late in terms of how I interact with my world and the bigger world around me. In terms of my friendships and relationships I realise that for any decision I make for my life and what I expect from others has to come down to how I ultimately feel about myself and what I deserve and on that basis, how I feel about myself will then reflect back at me from my world around me. The basis therefore for all this is based on my belief in the following:

• Honesty and integrity
• Good open communication
• How my children perceive me and how my actions affect them

Good communication is extremely important. It cuts out having to make assumptions and second guessing. It also enriches and enhances the relationship and in effect, taking the time to nurture and honor them is therefore a reflection of our beliefs. I have very few friends and that is by choice. There are a few I speak to every day and others who touch base a few times a month, yet we are ok with this because we know we are busy yet still remain in each others thoughts and we respect each other for this honesty.

In life there are codes of conduct in terms of how we conduct ourselves. Those codes of conduct help align us to how we operate in terms of our values and beliefs.
Also more importantly about Love and Respect is that I always think how I would feel if someone treated my child dis-respectfully or even if my child did the same to someone. Yet also how would they feel if I behaved inappropriately (as at home we have a set of standards ) if I allowed or settled for substandard treatment from anyone, or gave of the same, then how would my children see me as a mother, someone they have looked up to for so long, someone they have depended upon? And then how would that affect their perception of relationships of what is or is not acceptable?

Remember we cannot speak about love or of love and sincerely mean it, if our actions belie otherwise. Love cannot just be spoken about. It is something that is felt, and if it is felt then it is to be experienced and once experienced then an action is formed from that. Remember: All We need is love. Think about it!!

If I Can Do it, So Can You!!!!

2010-06-02T06:24:00.000-07:00

As always my message is one of ‘If I can do it, so can you’. A simple statement, but often hard for us to believe and attain because in the process of this simplicity has to be the understanding that with this comes steadfast vision, sacrifice, lots of learning and an incredible amount of hard work and sheer determination. Remember the saying Success is 1% Inspiration and 99% Perspiration. Yet more importantly and what many of us suffer from is lack of belief in self. How bad do you want whatever it is you are after?

Another aspect to this statement is that outcomes are often dependent upon many factors. From how we perceive ourselves, our self-belief, the places we are at in our lives at any given moment in time and how we view the world around us etc. Therefore, I would like to impart to you the following. We are all capable of achieving the most amazing and wonderful things in our lives. Often times we fail to see the woods through the trees. We fail to see and believe in our capacity to be, do and fulfil our life’s purpose. We fail to believe in our capabilities in who we truly are because of messages we have been given along the way, other peoples perceptions of us etc.

Also, we tend to get distracted by what others are doing. We reference our lives, our success and failures by those around us, forgetting that we are on our own individual path. This distraction then leads us into becoming self absorbed in someone else’s achievements and successes, which then reflects back at us highlighting our own perceived insecurities and deficiencies. This then leads to feelings of resentment, frustration, envy and even jealousy.

Yet when we choose to self reference, when we choose and allow ourselves to look at our lives, to discover and embrace the gifts, talents and unique human beings we individually are, then we can achieve the most amazing things and embrace who we are. Once again, this is not always an easy process and it is often hard for us to recognise our uniqueness. The message I would like to leave with you is this. Anything is possible, life is a plethora of learning and experience. It is how you perceive what happens to you and how you react and respond to these experiences. For now I will leave this here. If you want to find out more about how to achieve your personal best, then listen to some of the interviews on Qarma Broadcast, visit youtube and check out Dr Wayne Dyer, The Barefoot Doctor, Louise Hay and many more from the Personal Development arena.

In the meantime, there is a wealth of resources that you can tap into right now to help you on your personal development journey.

Like Nike says "Just Do It"

Much love

POETRY ON THE MOVE

2010-04-25T05:53:00.000-07:00

Feel the crisp breeze of Spring’s floaty sensations
tickle your fancy, caressing winter’s blues away
view through eyes that dance with awakening
Renewal, rejuvenation, a newness of life

Feel the effortless flow and energy of new beginnings
Meander its way through your cluttered mind
releasing, detoxing, making way for you to rise
Like the golden orb of sun

And so we rise like a phoenix from the ashes
to greet this new phase, a new gift in our lives
and let us embrace Spring’s offering of newness
And stride forth to meet its glorious handshake

Esther Austin – All Rights Reserved 7th April 2010

And if I Stand

2010-03-09T14:58:00.000-08:00

‘And if I stand still along this road for one brief moment
to reflect and look at the path just trod
From what angle will I view my life
which therefore determines how I proceed forward?

Will I see my life’s challenges staring up at me
with angry beacons of failure, regret and pain?
With my finger always pointing, accusing, outward, away from ME?
A fallen victim of my innermost fears and illusions?

Or will I see them sitting silently amongst the thorns
and in between the hedges, no longer holding me captive
no longer cradled in their power
because I have saluted and honored the space they played on my journey
because I have allowed myself to learn the lessons presented to me
for without them I could not stand on this mountaintop
With back straight against the biting wind
For without them, I would not be able to reflect back upon
For without them I could not have discovered me

Esther Austin
March 2010e

The Road to My Destiny

2010-02-21T14:49:00.000-08:00

Climbing the road towards my destiny
I glimpse the path from whence I just trod
a panoramic view of lessons learned
lay sprawled in captive state below
And seeing the distance between the land and me
I continue towards the mountaintop
Though steep and treacherous it appears to be
I choose to continue unabated.

EAustin 21 February 2010

Riding the Waves of Life and its GREAT

2010-02-07T16:29:00.000-08:00

It has been a while, has it not since I have put pen to paper on this page. Often times over the past few months, much has come to me. Yet I have denied myself the opportunity to translate from mind to paper my thoughts as I have allowed other daily pressures to overwhelm me, thereby silencing the flow of words into the abyss of stagnation.

Yet many months down the line, here I am riding the waves of life in the boat of contentedness feeling a sense of anticipation, expectation at what I know will manifest in my life this year.

My journey has been incredible to say the least and the beauty of this journey is that I am always learning, constantly trying to understand myself during this process. My mission down here is to serve humanity and I am enjoying this role so much. Yet in order to serve well, I have had to learn to love well, to open my heart to compassion’s lure even more fully and to embrace everything that I experience from that place of love. It’s not always been easy emotionally for me to let go of emotions which were negative and at times a struggle yet this lesson serves me well.

How ,you might wonder have I got to such a place? It has certainly not been an easy journey and there have been times when I have been left wondering, will I do this whole journey on my own? The saying that people come into our lives for a reason and a season has certainly served me many lessons. The main lesson for me was in the letting go of certain people within my circle, for whatever reason, knowing it was for the best and that I should learn to do this in love. Not in anger nor resentment (and believe me there were times when because of my own expectations, I wanted to do get angry - but the new me would not let me) – yet the learning for me was that it was ok to let them go and more importantly it was time to let them go because certain friendships no longer served a purpose.

Sometimes some were severed in not-so-comfortable nor amicable ways and I had to learn to deal with all this from a place of love. I even had to question on occasion, the way I handled the separation in terms of whether I had done this from a place of judgment. What I now find about myself is that it becomes easier to look in my mirror or truth and deal with my faults, because I have learned to love myself and love both sides of me. Therefore when I need to deal with anything which I would otherwise sweep under the carpet, I can face them boldly.

So why I am still riding the waves? Because the beauty of this spiritual walk is learning to walk my talk. Constantly trying to be mindful of who I am and what I am. Of my thoughts, words, deeds and action. The more I understand myself, is the more that I can experience life in its abundance and in a more peaceful and calm way. Therefore the truer I am to me means I am more able to serve humanity from a place of honesty, integrity, truth and wholesomeness.

Sounds like spiritual waffle? Well it’s not because like Mahatma Ghandi once said ‘Be the change you want to see in the world’ and the more we focus on the self, on ‘US’ and take our focus off others and excuses is the more that our lives can shift and transform into a more comfortable space and that place is a wonderful place of awakening.

Riding the waves is for me, at this moment in time, is the manifestation of everything my soul has ever desired from the universe. Riding the waves is that after years and years of trials and challenges, of building my business, which I know were put into place to test and strengthen me, it seems (fingers crossed) that I have at this moment in time, passed the test and now it is time for me to reap my abundance and for this I am eternally grateful.

Remember: Success if 1% Inspiration and 99% Perspiration

Yet for me the beauty of riding the waves is in just BEING me. It is in doing the work I do, following my dreams and realizing them and loving every moment of this creative and fulfilling process. Through serving others, empowering and transforming lives, yet this is only because I have allowed myself to be the channel for this vocation 100% and have accepted the role I have to play.

So yes, I am back here with you all after a few months, surfing and riding the most beautiful of waves and waiting for them to crash to shore where I will leap off to dart into another of life’s wonderful adventures creating more magic in my life and other peoples lives and its GREAT.

So my motto to you is: ‘If I can do it, So Can You’

In order to Receive Love you have to be Love first - It's all about working on Yourself

2009-11-02T12:22:00.000-08:00

Hello Folks

It certainly has been a while. Much has happened and is always happening. A constant shift in experiences and awareness. A constant moving forward of consciousness about life, about who I am, about how I operate and as always I say it is a beautiful journey and I love it. The learning never stops and every day I am understanding more things about me, and also finding out more about the amazing gifts God has given me. One very special gift, for me it is a gift, is that of being honest with myself and in the space, I am able to instantly deal with something if it does not feel right, or if results are not what they should be. Too many of us live life in the vacuum of a lie. Things happening around us and to us, and yet the denial continues, time and time again. Always pointing the finger at another. Yes, kinda painful, but it’s one of the many universal truths.

Remember: If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. Wayne Dyer

In my last newsletter, I wrote the following and it was amazing the responses I received:

‘So here we are two weeks later after my last newsletter and things just keep getting better and better. I will be updating my inspirational blog, Emotions in Transit shortly to share with you something quite personal. Basically about my journey of love. Love of self? You may well ask? Well yes but also how I identified how I have shut men out of my life for a long time now, because of my fear of rejection, a fear which was embedded so deeply, not even I could heal it. Yet by recognizing what I was doing and the act itself of almost self-sabotage, I’m now in a wonderful place to fully open up to my divine partner, who is already on the horizon and he is everything this gal could ever desire. Yet I had to go on a personal journey of further self-discovery, praying and meditating and asking the universe to send people my way to help me heal me more what I could not touch. The first point in really moving forward many years ago was to stop pointing the finger outwards and to look at what was going on with me. The second was to deal with stuff from my childhood…heavy stuff..not really – could’ve been, but it was more of a relief for me.’

It was interesting to see the responses I received from many people, about that brief piece I wrote and I thank all of you for your messages. It was also interesting how many people still didn’t quite get it. People sent emails congratulating me on my new relationship and saying they were glad that I had found happiness. But I wanted to scream ‘don’t you get it?’

What I wrote above was very much about me identifying what I needed to do in order to manifest the best relationship for me. I have already met this person in my dreams and vision. Remember everything we experience starts first in the mind, through thought. We are the sum of our thoughts – Napoleon Hill. What I wrote about was about me doing the work on me, dealing with any baggage, any thoughts or habits that were not conducive to attracting the right person for and to me. For me it is about getting n touch with my soul, that place of unconditional love, that place of peace. This can only be attained through prayer and meditation and focusing on the self.

You see, we live in such a shallow and materialistic society where being in a state of contentedness and happiness is always dependent upon external things validating and defining who we are. Whether that be through drink, food, the type of shop we buy our food or clothes from, the designer label on our clothes, the car we drive the area we live in, the people we associate with – otherwise it seems, we are of no use in society, we have no standing!! If someone is happy it is usually attributed to something else outside of them, yet the true reality is that true contentedness and happiness comes from within, from the experience we engage and embrace in with our soul, and then everything else around us is a bonus.

Yes at times I do have my highs and lows, especially of late, (as I am a bit of a workaholic and it would be so nice to be swept off my feet on occasion, but I am not prepared to compromise to settle for any less than what I deserve so the work has to be done on me) because sometimes this journey is lonely. But on the whole, I love my life and have learned to be grateful for everything and everyone who has ever graced my life, because there is and has been learning in every situation, circumstance and relationship.

When I conduct talks, I like to use this analogy of the Tsunami and what happened a few years ago. If everything were to be swept away from us, could we still stand on our own two feet, proud, tall and dignified and still say “I am……..” The reality is that not many people could . Think about this …who would you be without your brand new sports car? Who would you be if you were not wearing Gucci? Who would you be without your make-up? Who would you be if you did not associate with professionals and academics? Who would you be if you were the man underneath a cardboard box, every night on the pavement with nothing but a penny to his name?
So my initial piece in the newsletter was merely to say that I have been and am always working on Me. Pointing the finger away from me, using should’ve, would’ve and could’ve is no longer acceptable.

I have and had to take personal responsibility for me so that when this person does enter my life it will be same energy attracting like and because I know I deserve the best possible person ever I have to truly honor and respect who I am and know that this will be received. In the same vein for whoever it is who will grace my path, that mutual respect will be reciprocated and given. Do unto others as you would have done unto you. We are a reflection of our relationships, so therefore do we not deserve the best?

I leave you with much love and light and encourage you to begin or continue on your journey. It is not always easy, life never is, but there are tools, knowledge and a body of awareness and consciousness to help smooth that bumpy ride for you. We all go through tough and rough times, its standard really, so rather than playing the victim and wishing you had a better childhood or upbringing, relationship or whatever it is, realize that you have the gift of life, you have the gift of awareness, you have the gift of choice to change your life around at any moment in time and you have the choice to get to know you and experience you so that you can experience the absolute best in life – now that is what I call freedom.

But then how do you change something you are not aware of?????? That is for my next update…until then…………………….

Quotes by Esther Austin on Fear

2009-10-08T08:57:00.000-07:00

'If we fear our past, then our present is defined as such and we can never fully experience the abundance and joy that the future can present. Nor can we fully experience and enjoy that new moment which the present can put into place for our future, because our future is still in our past'

'Letting go is easier said than done. The defining moment of letting go of old habits, thoughts, perceptions is in the experiencing of your new reality as that, a new beginning, a transformative change. And in the space one can enjoy a different meaning to life'

'Once you leave the past behind, you open up the gift of many wonderful possibilities. Rather than to experience experiences as you may have done, and see the world through the filters of past experiences and pain, you will experience what is present as it is, allowing the newness of something new, neither defined by perception or the past to cloud your judgment'

Esther Austin

Are You a True Leader of Inspiration or Just Talk? Competing with Others or Genuine and Authentic with You?

2009-08-21T17:20:00.000-07:00

Dear All

Today I would like to speak about something that I feel is extremely important, something which I have touched upon on several occasions actually. But this message is more for those who purport to be leaders, spiritual gurus, empowering and inspiring the lives of others. The message here today is simply this – we need to be real and authentic about who we are. Because if we do not allow ourselves to get this right, the universe and God will shift something very dynamic and powerful into place to put us back in alignment, an din this process our pain will be great.

For those of us who stand on a platform empowering , reaching out to others, healing, playing the host of all that is honorable and authentic with all the bolshy ‘empowerment talk’ whilst in their heart of hearts whether unconsciously or consciously hold the devil’s pitch fork in their hands, smiling. Remember in that smile the whiteness and witness of your soul will reflect back against that pitchfork and in that moment you will see your reflection shining back at you. Whether you like what is there or not, will depend upon how authentic you really are otherwise taking time out to deal with what is reflected back could be a good idea? I have had to do this many times otherwise, I would not be who I am today and believe me at times, it’s been painful.

Remember: We are energy, we are touching peoples lives, energy transmits, transforms – can we, as leaders, movers and shakers allow ourselves to hinder someone else’s growth by deeds which do not serve the greater good of mankind?

There can only be one truth about this whole empowerment game, that if we are not in alignment with our true selves, it makes no difference whether we are well-known, renown, celebrity, old school, new school, has been, soon-to-be, if we are not in alignment with our true self and not in a position to deal with issues and negative feelings such as:

Begrudging someone else for what they have;
Feeling the need to compete;
Feeling resentful for what someone else has created or has;
(Remember the 10 Commandments)

then we need to stand down NOW, face that side of us we may not be so appealing but yet which is REAL, accept those feelings, acquaint ourselves with those feelings, work through these feelings and then heal them and then stand in our power of integrity and say this is where I was, but I did something about it and now look at where I am. Simple, real. It is in our honesty that we can see the beauty in our weaknesses and work to give them strength through healing. Yet also the beauty of how energy operates – always back to you, whatever you think about becomes your reality.

If we allow ourselves to truly humble our carcasses and allow our God, the universe to work through us, then there CAN NEVER BE any room for any negative thought nor deed to inhabit our lives and if they do then we have to deal with it.

This journey of self-development is NOT A GAME. We cannot hide behind the mask of an organization regardless of global status, or behind our Leaders no matter how huge or dynamic he or she is in the world, or behind words which speak of ‘love, peace, joy, harmony, TRUTH, inspiration and empowerment’ because if the truth be told, those in positions of leadership have a responsibility to themselves first and foremost to clean up the inside of the self, to work on the self and in that space to honor yourself. Yet more importantly you start to honour mankind as well. Being human, there will obviously be times when negative feelings will surface and that’s ok because it is all part of life’s learning but the beauty is in being open to recognize the feeling, accept the feeling and heal it as soon as is possible.

There used to be a saying in the old westerns that ‘white man speak with forked tongue.’ This message was often delivered by an Indian who had stood for as long as it took, just observing, standing in his own space of authenticity and honesty, quietly observing not just what was said verbally but observing body language, movement, even thoughts, actions and most of all man’s presence and spirit. Much can be discerned by presence alone and remember Truth always knows.

We fool ourselves often trying to present what we are not. We fall into the trap of wearing a mask and thinking that by smiling in someone’s face that smile will blind another to a reality which many would want to remain hidden. Let’s get real people, it doesn’t work.

If we truly understand the power of love, if we truly respected the power of love, but if we truly respected that within this privileged role of touching people’s lives whether through our words, hands, books – whatever we are transmitting energy, and we must be as pure as possible. Love gives and does not take away and how can you truly give as a leader, mover and shaker if you do not have all that is required inside.

And lets not keep things twisted any longer neither. Because someone tells you you are wonderful, dynamic, the best leader since Ghandi, do take pride in honoring that because you are all these wonderful things. Yet don’t let someone else’s words blind you to what may be simmering below. Be careful not to use these expressions of compliments to create a veil over what You know you truly need to do. If there is healing that needs to take place, heal. It’s not a bad thing, its not a negative, it just is, its present, its real and therefore needs to be addressed.

The reality, if you are not in authentic space and are not fully honoring you… please stand off your platform for a while and adjust that little man or woman on your shoulder called ego, speak to it, send it love and then put it back in the box where it belongs and then be strong and bold enough to get back on that platform.

Others will respect you more for this - because being able to face who you truly are in that mirror of truth is one of the hardest things anyone can do. I know, I have been there many times myself but the beautiful of life is that you can always start afresh from that moment on and when you do stand on that platform, you can say with integrity that yes, I used to be there, I used to do those things, but I have worked hard on myself and allowed God to work through me and here I am today.

AND REMEMBER THERE IS ENOUGH IN THIS UNIVERSE TO GO AROUND FOR EVERYONE – EVEN YOU

“If we were more aware of our own shadow, we would not be afraid to look in the mirror’
Esther Austin

Angels and Snakes - Are You begruding Another?

2009-07-21T00:38:00.000-07:00

Welcome Dear Readers

Over the past few months many incredible things have happened to me. Some of these experiences have been wonderful whilst others have been painful. Yet they have all served me a purpose to learn, to evaluate myself, my actions, my interaction with others. Many of these experiences, I could've used to either empower or dis-empower myself remembering always that we always have a choice and everything happens in life for a reason. Therefore I can learn to embrace these experiences more honestly and authentically and look at the lessons I can learn from them or I could harbor them in my heart like a wrench. Remember pain often means growth and is not a bad thing to experience.

I have experienced the most wonderful and dynamic people into my life and continue to do so. People who can stand in their own strength of honesty and authenticity who do not feel threatened by anyone or anything. People who have worked hard on themselves, often facing that mirror of truth and dealing with what they see there. This is not an easy path to ride, for I too have had to face that mirror often. Yet for me, one of the most profound moments of realization as I fulfill and achieve my life’s mission is the space many people share holding the hands of dishonesty and envy and I have had to protect and close my circle tightly, as the universe shifts people out of my space for this reason.

Yet for many who are at the top or working their way there, or who simply have a vision this has been an experience for them as well, yet it serves to propel those of us forward with more determination and tenacity and more importantly, it truly tests our sense of self and our belief in the power of infinite love and when we understand this from the heart and not the head - then we can understand the power of just letting go and leaving these experiences to the universe and God knowing that whatever lessons we all need to learn will be dealt to us.

Over the past four years, I have worked hard on me and in creating my business, trying to clear out the debris within me, in order for the truth and clarity of life to open up within and to me. Yes I have made mistakes, I have often gone around in circles chasing my tail. I have often had to humble myself and apologise for words spoken harshly or inappropriately. Yet I have had to learn to put my hand up and take responsibility for my own actions. Always remembering my favourite quote by Ghandi “Be the Change you want to see in the world.” This therefore empowered me to take responsibility for me, for my actions, for my words, my thoughts and my deeds and in doing so has cleared the way for me to become extremely intuitive, empowering my spirit of discernment to guide me and ultimately protect me from walking blind into situations which would certainly sabotage myself and my efforts on this wonderful journey. I often say that if you speak dishonesty to me, I will know, but this has come from years of me taking my own self apart, and dealing with my own negative stuff, to fully understand who I am from a place of truth.

This spiritual pathway like any other pathway can be treacherous at times. Movement is about progression is it not? Moving from one space in life to another and hopefully that process means moving to a better place. Growth. Often times, we remain in a static place, looking on from the outside of our lives, peering at what other people are doing, pointing the finger at everyone else but ourselves. Often competing against others with the intention to cause pain, allowing anger, resentment, hatred, envy, jealousy to motivate our every move and with these sidekicks as motivation – the ultimate outcome can only be failure. The reality, therefore, is that following this path will only reflect back into your life and the life of your children, family, friends, experiences and this then becomes a perpetuating cycle even a generation cycle.

We are all unique individuals, blessed with unique gifts and talents. We all have the capacity to do, create and be whoever and whatever we want.

My inspiration for my business have been other successful and wonderful individuals. I didn’t see them as competition nor a threat but as inspiration to enable me to follow my dream. My intention and passion has always been to set up something which would touch and empower lives and along the way I have had to make some executive decisions based on what my spirit of discernment revealed to me. Individuals who wanted to be part of my projects and business who presented what they thought an “honest front” yet their spirit were devious with illusions of monetary gain and dishonesty and yes I am open enough to say this publicly.

What must always be mindful in recognising and fully understanding what is our purpose and intention in everything we do. There is a greater source out there, God, the Universe, Buddah whoever is your higher source and what you do behind closed doors that you feel cannot be seen, has already been noted. Learning to be honest and authentic with ourselves first and foremost is hard, but a must. As we learn more about who we are and work on discarding negative entities within us, then whatever we put our hand to can only materialize into the most positive of endeavors. We must be mindful of the intention behind our every action. Remember, our lives reflect our inner spirit and heart so whether we face the outside world with a smile and with dishonest intention in our hearts this will reflect within our lives.

So with this in mind, I sincerely wish you all well. Follow your own path. There is enough room throughout the universe for us all to follow our dreams, to create and be successful. But we must understand our purpose and be mindful of our every intention.

“If we were more aware of our own shadow, we would not fear to look in the mirror”
Esther Austin

No Man is An Island

2009-07-13T15:58:00.000-07:00

We can never become what we truly wish to become
Standing alone on our own islands
Alone
Devised and created by ourselves, or so our ego thinks
Bemused and fooled we simply fall
Into this enticingly torrid trap
Thinking we need to hold the fortress of our lives
Alone
Like shoulders leaning into and against the doors of our bastions
Ready to take on the world
Waiting for life’s cannon to hurl its iron ball
Into our very hearts
And within the confines of our reality
Our bastions and monuments
Are sheathed in our own blood, sweat and tears
Our own heartache sears to the very depths of our soul
exploding into a thousand shards of pain, hurt, anger and FEAR
yet the answer is simple, is it not?
the only complication is to put into action what we truly know
but which we have denied ourselves of, from the beginning of time
the answer my dear friends is to trust in you
to trust in your God, the Universe, the Great I am, your Higher Source
And allow you to lean back into the arms of that spiritual cocoon
Which nurtures, guides, protects and comforts
Supports, loves, understands and holds
Unless man’s spirit has died within the womb of hope
No man is an island, Man cannot stand alone

Esther Austin All Rights Reserved 13th July 2009

QUOTES TO EMPOWER YOUR LIFE

2009-07-09T23:25:00.000-07:00

"And as we battle with our self, we battle with our light, diminishing our world into seeds of doubt, bitterness and fear. For as we create this storm within us, we die daily and love fails to touch our very soul, our love fails to reach out to others. Yet within a moments grace, we can allow ourselves to embrace life, to enjoy life, to enjoy who we are. Within a moment, the transition from pain and heartache into peace and love can be acquired. We just have to learn to let go, we just have to learn to be honest and authentic with who we truly are, we just need to learn to walk our talk and the universe will smile down upon us with a generous helping of love and light." Esther Austin

'Once we fail to love ourselves, we fail to live' Esther Austin

'Be mindful of those we teach. Be mindful of those we purport to reach out to and touch. For they know. They watch us daily. We become their source of light and love. We become their anchor, their strength, their hope. Be mindful always to walk your talk. For they know and they watch us daily. Honesty with self first brings much enlightenment.' Esther Austin

“When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.” Jimi Hendrix

“I will greet this day with love in my heart. For this is the greatest secret of success in all ventures. Muscles can split a shield and even destroy life itself but only the unseen power of love can open the hearts of man. And until I master this act I will remain no more than a peddler in the marketplace. I will make love my greatest weapon and none on who I call can defend upon its force... my love will melt all hearts liken to the sun whose rays soften the coldest day.” Og Mandino

Quotes about the self by Esther

2009-06-05T15:32:00.000-07:00

A few quotes that came to me, peeps, which is a reflection of where I have just journeyed from and the path I still am on. They reflect my learning as part of my journey. Enjoy

"Isn't it a wonderful thing to realise, that in giving ourself the chance to love ourself, and expect only the best for ourself, surely we can deserve the absolute best from everything that life has to offer us. All we need to do is to say "yes" , "thank you" and trust our higher source that it is so.

"If we desire honour, respect, love and integrity to flow through our lives and relationships then we must hold up a mirror in front of us - and hopefully our wishes will have already been granted for in the reflection of the self is our world."

"Deception is to smile in the face of another, speaking words which fade into dust whilst the devil perches in your heart. But know this, wisdom always knows, so more fool you"

BE AUTHENTIC WITH YOU - YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOOSE BUT ALL TO GAIN

2009-05-27T18:10:00.000-07:00

Dear All

I have just uploaded a new audio recording on the Time to Share section on Qarma Broadcast http://www.qarmabroadcast.co.uk/6.html. This is something that has been on my spirit for the past two weeks and which came very strongly came to me again today.

The item is for all of us, and more importantly those who stand on a platform of leadership, and teaching etc. The simple message here is that when we operate from a place of inauthenticity, when we choose to ignore our own pain, our emptyness, our fears, then how can we empower and reach out to those we think we love, if we do not have those qualities inside of us? Yet it is ok to be in a place of fear for a while, because this pain tells us that there is something we need to deal with.

How can we truly reach out with and in the abundance of who we truly are and touch people's lives 100%, not just 50% but 100% if our own hearts are empty, in pain and full of fear. Surely we need to realise that we deserve to be loved and to love unconditionally and that we can have it all, yet we just need to trust and walk in our own truth. Would we not then be able to live life more abundantly? I have travelled this path of fear for a while myself and it was uncomfortable to say the least and I had to choose to step out of this space into a better space because the pain did become too much too bear.

So many of us as leaders, stand on a platform where we are idolised, where love from our fans can become mixed up with desire, awe - all coming from the place of the ego. Believe me on this - desire is fickle - a trickle of flights of fantasy lasting for only a brief moment in time, empty, void of any real depth, detached from reality and truth. Yet love - love is unity, togetherness, understanding, respect, nurturing, honesty, authenticity. Love is truth. Spirituality is about love, honesty and authenticity, period - and if it is something else to you - then I would like to suggest that take a step back and check the road you have just trod. I have had to do this many time myself - reflecting, analysing who I was at any given moment in time, especially when pain became my indicator that I was not operating as I should.

I have trod my path of pain believe me. When I lost my younger sister to breast cancer two years ago, and then found out my partner had had an affair with two women, my pain was so bad I could not cry and then I shut down for two years - but in my heart there was always hope that oneday I would find love again and I deserved to be loved and I wanted to love, because I have so much to give. Yet I realise I had to experience everything in my life because there were lessons for me to learn. these lessons have served me well, because of where I now stand.

To this day I still believe in the sanctity of true and passionate love and I know I will find that which I have asked for because I have worked on me, I chose to face that mirror of truth and deal with ME, my pain, my blocks, my resentment, my inpure thoughts. It's not easy to do this self analysis and correction, but you know what - if I plan to stand up in front of thousands of people empowering, inspiring and teaching, then I had better walk my talk and people who know me, know that I will always hold my hand up if I am wrong, if I need to deal with ME, but more importantly, I do know longer need others to validate who I am and to stroke my ego by being dishonest about who I am. I can now stand on my own and claim that I AM THAT I AM. I have learned to love me once again and to allow myself to embrace all the wonderful possibilities in life that God has given to me, within the universal flow of love, light and abundance.

I just felt I needed to share this with my global community, and I hope we can support and encourage each other on this journey called life and to know that there is always another day in which we can change the direction of our life and that FEAR has no place in our lives.

Remember I love you all, because I now can, because after 43 years - I have finally learned to truly love me - can you not now see the sun shining from within my soul - I can - finally.

Much love to you all and keep on supporting Qarma Broadcast, http://www.qarmabroadcast.co.uk - your online inspirational and spiritual radio station.

Know thyself and you Can know Everything

2009-05-15T15:08:00.000-07:00

Beyond this expanse of eternity
I stand alone
Solitude my companion
Lonely, never for I am complete as I am

Beyond this expanse of eternity
I watch my thoughts
Cascade down through my mind
Interpretation no longer needs
To lend itself to me

For my spirit, this ancient soul of souls
Has searched for wisdom
From the time life breathed fire
Into this world
Experience has carved me into being
My existence defined by the paths I have trod
from the roads I have walked
from the sacrifices made and the many lessons learned
In many lives and places have I lived
Spanning the sands of time and oceans of eternity
And now I stand on the pinnacle of enlightenment
The sense of “knowing” sits firm within my being
Because I have journeyed this land
Even before time existed

Oh, yes, I know, oh how, I know
Many, many things
I have seen much and captured much within my heart
I have heard much and captured much within my heart
I have felt much and captured much within my heart
I have experienced joy like the creation within womb of a child
I have experienced pain, like the thorns which pierced Jesus’ brow
Or the shackles of mind, body and soul which kept many a people down
So therefore, how could I not attain enlightenment
Without experiencing the world through the eyes of my soul
Until this sense of knowing, became embedded within my psyche

Beyond this expanse of eternity
I stand alone
Solitude my companion
Reflecting through life, with me
Gathering knowledge and wisdom
Embedding it within my heart

So yes, I know,
I just simply know everything
Or Do I?

Esther Austin© All Rights Reserved 15 May 2009

Visions of Expression

2009-05-06T16:30:00.000-07:00

Visions of expression sit within the mind
now let them wait patiently
in the corner of tomorrow
until your peace suspends you
surrenders you
into the timelessness of space
as your thoughts drift out into
the horizon

Esther Austin

Celebrating the True Energy of Time

2009-05-05T05:15:00.000-07:00

Time, an elusive enigma. Always in control of even the very breath that escapes from our soul.

Time a constant in our lives, emerging as the flow and continuum of our existence. We have all become dependent upon this miraculous power, aligning our lives against its directing. The watch on wrists, a constant reminder through furtive and regular glances that we have allowed ourselves to become accountable to the tenuous grasp and control that this elusive element reigns over us.

Clocks perch precariously in positions or where we have no choice but to adhere to their domineering presence – rule our day. Like production lines we regulate our lives around them. Invisible infrastructures, constantly framing our days within the dimensions of the tick, tock, tick, tock. We condemn our lives often by the rule of the clock, our mis-perceived idea of what we think time really is, which is not the rule of time because time offers us a freeness of spirit and presence which we do not often recognise. Time is a liberator. Paradoxically, it is free in the space of a limitless forever. Yet we have chained this freedom time offers, wrapping it up amongst rush, hurry, deadlines, urgency. Clocks and watches, mobile phones dictate to us, never allowing us to enjoy this very moment.

Everywhere we go, like rats in a cage, we are confronted by the glaring reality that traps us into conformity. Believing we need to march against the constant strike of the year, month, week, day, hour, second. Believing we need to march against the constant and unrepentant movement of time.

Yet if we chose to we could ignore the dilemmas and impositions we allow our mental restriction on time to do to us. We could choose to liberate our minds, our spirits and souls. We could choose to allow the gentler hands of time to guide us subtly, joyously, contentedly through life, enabling us to enjoy and appreciate the scenery of life along the way. Allowing us to never miss even the smallest of moments which makes life worth existing for. Those moments which are often lost as we race against the hands of the clock. We could allow the caress of experience to add to our awareness and finally enlightenment as we become more aware of the beauty that surrounds us which would then help us to experience our spiritual journey even more.

Therefore, as with anything in life, it is about choice. We can allow the rigid hands of technology, a prodigy of time itself to rule our world or we can experience the beauty and wonder and sense of freedom within our souls, to ride upon the crest of time itself, which is eternal.

Are you ready to enjoy more of the essence of life? Take a day off from your watch, the clock, the demands of your mobile. Try and take time off from the daily rigmarole and experience the freedom that you will allow time to offer you. And in this process, experience a whole new and wonderful world of being in the present, in the moment.

TRUTH

2009-04-15T16:29:00.000-07:00

What is truth?
the understanding for which can only be found
within our very soul

What resonates within you
within your inner peace
that is if you have any peace at all?

For truth can only be gained
And felt through the psyche

Borne through life’s copious journeying
A cacophony of experiences
Sometimes seen as good
Sometimes seen as bad
Yet all part of life’s role play
Staged sometimes with splendid effect
Other-times, with more subtle and gentle presence
Sometimes joyful, often times etched in pain
Yet these are all emblems which make up your truth

Experiences which hone and shape the person
You are
Experiences which sometimes have laid your soul bare
And exposed, raw to pain, anger, negativity’s soldiers
Other times, experiences which have had you
Dancing on the wings of an eagle, freely
Gliding on the wings of love’s finest abundance
Therefore your truth can only come from within
The source of who you truly are

Therefore, embrace the whole of you
Lovingly get to know the whole of you
Face your soul in that mirror which exposes all
And faithfully deal with what you see
Looking humbly back at you
And you will manifest
Your truth

All rights reserved© Esther Austin 15th April 2009

MY VOLUNTEER VISIT TO THE CAMEROON, THE CHALLENGES, THE SUCCESSES - FEBRUARY 2009

2009-04-09T02:04:00.000-07:00

Well ladies and gents

Before I proceed, often times we see experiences which challenge us as negatives, falling in the self-pity trap of “why me?” Yet, looking back at those experiences you must understand that they are there to serve us for a purpose, for the greater good. Generally that purpose is for us to learn something about ourselves and the part we played in that scenario.

There were a sequence of events prior to me going to the Cameroon and whilst in the Cameroon which truly tested my resolve.
resolve.

Prior to leaving for the Cameroon in February 2009, I had to attend several meetings with the African Foundation Stone to go through preliminaries. On both occasions I got lost and turned up an hour late for my appointments. On another occasion, I had to cancel my meeting at the last minute. Then on the day of departure my plane was delayed for two hours. When I finally got on the plane, I sat next to an elderly woman. At this point in time, I had a book and my MP3 in my hand. For the next 20 minutes this women was gesticulating in French. She then called an air-hostess over who tried to calm the woman down. People around were now getting agitated as this woman continued her tirade. I was totally oblivious to what was going on because the conversation was being conducted in French. Then a lady behind me tapped me and told me to swap seats with a gentleman by her side explaining that the woman was complaining about my MP3. I was confused as I had not turned on the MP3, but this woman was certain that I would be playing loud music, so I moved. But what a blessing, as the woman I moved next to was a French Cameroonian who ran a women’s organisation in France. We were able to laugh and converse, rather limited, but converse none-the-less in French and have made a wonderful connection with each other.

The next incident to occur was when I touched down in the Cameroon, I was helped by a porter to take my luggage outside the airport building. I had expected to see a placard with my name on it, but there was none and I had no way of identifying the person who was to pick me up. I then spent the next hour or two at the airport, walking around looking for my host organisation. I tried several times to call the hotel - no answer. After asking my spirit for guidance, I decided to get a taxi to the hotel. The porter said he knew someone and summoned a taxi for me. I got into a taxi with two strange men, in a strange country. As I entered the taxi my practical side briefly said, do you know what you are doing. Yet my spiritual side told me “you are protected, you are safe.”

Half an hour later I arrived at the hotel only to be told that there was no booking for me and that the hotel did not have any spare rooms. I then spent the next 40 minutes trying to make contact with the various numbers I had - no answer. Meanwhile, the porter was harassing me for money, which he had greatly inflated and also the offer that he knew somewhere where I could stay for the night. At this moment in time I had been quite calm, but now I had started to stress a little. My spirit was now telling me to call Mr.P Archer, who always tracks me when I travel and makes contact to make sure I arrive safely. I was able to make a phone call to him, telling him where I was and apparently he had made contact with the host who had been looking for me at the airport but she did not know what I looked like and did not have a placard. By the time I finished the call, the rest of the volunteers and host organisation had turned up at the hotel. Apparently there had been a mix up regarding the bookings.

That night, though, we all went out to dinner and had a fabulous meal of fish and plantain, eating with our hands and relaxing. The next morning I was told I would be picked up at 9am. I sat for the next 4 hours waiting. In between that time, I was chewing on some nuts from Holland and Barratt and all of a sudden my back tooth cracked. By this time, I quietly smiled to myself and asked my spirit what was the learning for me from all these experiences. I was able to spend those 4 hours reflecting, meditating and praying on all that had happened. I then decided to read a book I had been given about Reiki and the amazing thing was that everything I had experienced, was confirmed in that book.

The organisation I was due to work with were not available for me as the Director had a seminar to attend all that week, therefore I requested to visit other women’s organisations and then had the opportunity to form a wonderful bond and friendship with many of the young men on the street, especially a young man called Diesel. I was able to walk the streets of Douala and get grassroots experience of how they live their lives. I was able to visit where they sleep and also interview many of them about their dreams, hopes and aspirations. I ventured into territory that would be considered dangerous for a woman, but I always prayed beforehand and knew in my heart I was safe, but I had come to the Cameroon for a purpose and at all costs was going to fulfil that.

A series of further events took place over the next week which had myself and Lorna saying “there is a greater purpose from all of this.” When I was asked by the Reverend Lorna Beckford, on my last day who too was a volunteer at the time, what was I able to take away from all my experiences and challenges? I told her, the challenges that had been placed before me had been put there to test my resolve to the limit and I did this dignified, calmly, silent and strong. Yet I could only accomplish this state through the meditation and prayer I had been doing.

To-date though I have accomplished so much from that trip. I was touched by the hospitality and positive attitude of the Cameroonians, even those on the street still have hope. When I compare this attitude to what I see over here in the UK, we certainly have many lessons to learn. I will be going back to the Cameroon shortly to work with the men on the street, with the Reverend Lorna Beckford, the experiences I had out there in February can be fed back into my workshops and talks to great effect. I also learned much about myself. Yet most of all what I found really profound is that the Cameroonians have this sense of purpose, drive. They are entrepreneurs, always with hope in their hearts and for even though who do not have much in the material sense, what they have is priceless because they value life and they value friendships and have a sense of unity and pride.

This serves for us as lessons for all of us to be grateful for what we have. Those I worked with had nothing, often times just the shirts on their backs, yet they had a smile and spoke of hope and had dreams and aspirations for their future. Young men who sometimes only had one piece of bread to eat during the day. Whilst many people aspire for the latest piece of technology, the latest designer purchase, the most expensive purchase - do these things really define who you are?

Remember: Wealth is not only money and material things, wealth is your health, your relationships, your values, everything that makes you happy inside. But wealth defines who you truly are on a soul level. If everything were to be stripped away from you right now – would your car define who you are or could the strength of your soul still remain standing, strong and dignified?

You will be able to hear recorded interviews from the trip on: http://www.qarmabroadcast.co.uk

My Constant Journey of Being

2009-03-05T14:47:00.000-08:00

“To travel is to free the mind, will and spirit empowering you to experience freedom of expression and thought which then liberates the soul” Esther Austin

My visit to the Cameroon as a volunteer, Sunday 22nd February to Sunday 1st March 2009, has empowered me on many different levels. Touching down on Sunday evening, I sensed a calmness, a unity a warmth from the land and the people within. As the days have progressed this warmth and sense of contentment obviously resonates from the energy of this people, even amidst poverty. Poverty, abject poverty and yet the spirit of entrepreneurship prevailed everywhere. The reality for many was that if they did not find some way, any way to make some money, they would not be able to eat, their children would not be able to go to school. I spent time on the streets with street children, whose stories, I will shortly be sharing with you, so watch this space. I also recorded several interviews which will be on Qarma Broadcast, very soon.

Therefore, I have observed and asked the question what has caused this shift to take place in me once again. A learning, a growing, an understanding? What has caused a depth of reflection to take place that has once again awakened within me the need to “be” and “do” now more than ever before. The burdening drive to just get up and go to follow my divine purpose in reaching out, inspiring and empowering with the messages that I need to deliver.

The anticipated urge to lunge into the unknown, or should I say to lunge gracefully into just “doing” what I am already doing, settled in the knowledge that all is well and that the time for whatever I am about, is now. Recognising that the only time we all have is in the here and now. Dreaming about the future, may never manifest itself, yet to be able to dream, anyway is a most wonderful thing. Yet here I am, in the here and now and God has created the space for me to do what is necessary at this time and place, so therefore the only thing really stopping me from accessing this and doing is any perceptions I have of limitation. The urge to start life afresh and anew, someplace else is very potent and strong. The urge to re-evaluate who I now am, or rather the realisation and awareness of knowing that I have changed/transformed once again is a wonderful place to be, because in this moment of learning, I transform my world and that which is around me.

I feel a strength of knowing inside of me, more serene, quieter yet stronger, now. This whole sense of “knowing” what is happening around me before it happens, knowing what someone will say before they open their mouth, understanding a sequence of events before the outcome has been deciphered, having a sense of linking with destiny so that when anything happens, it has already happened. Prior to this trip I dipped in and out of this place of “knowing” often, yet this week I have been living in this level and space of constant higher consciousness and awareness. Yet to be in this place and space, I chose to look at certain aspects of myself that needed to be trimmed and honed more. Aspects of me which I had to tidy up, put back in place, in order to allow me to be fully present, authentically and honesty. Therefore, the more I open myself up to the spirit of authenticity, the more I cleanse and detox, the more I allow myself to be constantly guided and led by God and all universal elements, the more I fall into the true me allows me therefore to experience life and its wonderful abundance more and more.

So, as always, I urge you not to be afraid to look into the mirror and face truth. It may prove to be painful, if only for a short while. You may certainly not like what you see staring back at you. Yet the reality of who we are is that we have many dimensions and facets, all part of who we are in totality and all which should be acknowledged. When you can define yourself as being truly you, when you can stand and say powerfully that “I AM”, when you allow yourself to fall into God’s hands (or into the universal flow or your higher source, whoever you believe in) when you allow this to happen and allow this source to guide you – you can only walk into the abundance that life has in store for you.

And on that note, I must leave you with “I AM, THAT I AM”

So therefore…….Bon Voyage, as you journey through life

A FRANK AND HONEST ACCOUNT OF MY OWN EMOTIONAL STRUGGLE

2009-01-27T14:51:00.000-08:00

Hello Everyone

I am choosing to open up to you today with a truth which many of you may resonate with. Being on this wonderful spiritual journey has certainly been an interesting and eclectic mix of ups and downs, travelling along mountains and valleys, but these challenges have honed me into who I am now and also for the work ahead of me which I have to do.

Over the past month or so, I have been struggling with feelings regarding a relative of mine. I found this person to be selfish and wrapped up in their own world of “self”. There was an incident in November, where I allowed my “ego” to take over. I allowed myself to become consumed with anger and needless to say, I had to get down on my knees and humbly ask God to forgive a few words that proceeded out of my mouth as I verbally battled with this person.

For a long time after that I refused to have anything much to do with her, yet my spirit was not settled. Time after time my spirit questioned me about looking at this situation from the spiritual side, looking at myself and asking me to be careful because I was standing on the platform advocating love, peace etc and inspiring others,. Obviously, I did not want to recognise this as I wanted to hold onto what this person was doing as my own personal crutch to gossip and own bad thoughts. Yet, because my spirit guides me often and also acts as my Jiminy cricket (my conscious), I had to relent, looking inside of me to reflect on what I was doing. I also remember around that time, I was reading “The Essence of Buddha, The Path to Enlightenment by Ryuho Okawa a wonderful book which talks much about the state of being, the purity of being and walking on the path of enlightenment. I felt a bit of a hypocrite, I can tell you because at that moment in time, I knew I was not practising what I was preaching.

Yet I struggled to deal with letting go of the resentment and anger that had built up in me. I meditated more, I prayed more and I literally had to go deep within myself in order to let go of these feelings, which were not serving me at all. The more I complained about this individual, the more uncomfortable I felt in my own spirit, and the more I held onto how I was feeling was the more I complained. Therefore because I was not walking in my own truth which was to address ME and how I needed to nurture myself with unconditional love and forgiveness how could I ever learn to forgive and accept this person for who they were at that moment in time?

There is a saying that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear and I had to learn that whatever this person had to learn, she would do so when the time was right and myself included. It was certainly not up to me to be making judgements. So in the process of learning to deal with, to heal and to be mature about the situation, I contacted this individual and calmly and respectfully spoke to her about anything and nothing in general. I did this on several occasions and now we laugh and speak quite well again and I no longer feel the animosity I initially did towards her. Yet it took time for me to learn to let go. I had to work through my own take and perception of the situation and realise that I had to let go of any expectations I had of her.
Yet, I feel I have still missed the true essence of being authentic in that, in order to fully restore what must be, it is for me to tell this person that “I love you.” It is not about whether this person would receive this act or not, but it is because I needed to do it.

Life is a funny thing, is it not? We all struggle from time to time with many things that we allow to burden us and yet the most simple thing it seems, and in reality it is not as simple as it could be, is that often times it is to deal with the self first and then others around you will shift in accordance.

I feel so much better now. The more I grow along this spiritual pathway is the more I am less tolerant of myself not walking in my truth and in fact, my spirit does not do very well if I slide off the pathway, even for one minute. It becomes restless and when I start to complain, moan and criticise then I know it is time for me to shut myself away and re-align who I am through solitude, prayer and meditation.

Yet I realise life is an ever evolving door of challenges, and as we grow into who we are, we are able to deal with life in a more comfortable way, hopefully and the learning is certainly worth the pain because it then enables us to move forward in a different direction if necessary.

More About The Journey and Importance of Discovering The Self

2009-01-10T16:25:00.000-08:00

From a distance the world looks so clear and bright, innocent in its clarity. Light from beyond a time when the concept of life was still being conceived, striking strong in the firmament, fresh, new, a birthing of one of creation’s master piece. Yet when one takes a closer look through the microscope of reality, the present here and now, the illusion of life begins to unfold. Within those tiny atoms which only the spiritual eye can see, life meanders by, on a journey full of adventure and mysterious liaisons, sometimes even deceitful and painful but all for our tasting and experiencing.

So what is the essence of life in light of this most complex form of clarity? What is the essence and truth of what we see, how we perceive what we see and the understanding of what we perceive?

Is perception the parameter along which we align our truth and therefore our understanding of the world? Therefore, how do we know whether our perception of the reality of life is the truth? and that we are not following a path which is full of treachery and deceit and ultimately untruth?

Can the two lines between truth and untruth become blurred so readily and easily that the differentiation between both be so subtle that if judgement were to be passed the sentence of a man’s life could be life or death? Therefore, does it not stand to reason that as we travel along the spiritual highway, in the observance of life and self, we must be explicably honest with ourselves and the journey we make within our own selves? Painful yes, to face that mirror of truth which often reveals many demons silently and subtly feeding off our spirits and souls, keeping us chained within the dimensions of fear, pain, aggressiveness, bitterness and many more negative parasites.

Yet until we can take that painful walk within, starting the detoxification process of our own lives, then whatever way we reach out to others, cannot be from the ultimate spirit of unconditional love, truth, honesty and integrity. Realise this – you cannot give what you don’t have. Realise another truth – that unless we surrender to our higher purpose, God, the Universe, and learn to trust implicitly in that source, we cannot “be” all that we are meant to be.

Many people operate on a superficial and materialistic platform in the world which has become the normal way to operate. Yet, it cannot be effective within its true purpose and end result and unless you are serious about your spiritual walk, your endeavours will never be as fruitful as they can be, until you operate from the level of pure truth and only your spirit and soul and guidance from above can take you there.

Yet, realistically speaking, this journey is not an easy one. It can be challenging at the best of times, yet it is so rewarding. The learning and growth and understanding of self and life on an intimate realm is something that I can only wish you can one day experience. It all takes time, discipline, a zeal and zest to truly get to know who you are and to understand how you work. It is a path where you will climb many mountains, stumbling and falling along the way. Yet the beauty of this journey is that you will learn all you need to learn in order to become the person you are truly meant to be and the love that will encompass your heart will be one of the most awesome experiences of self.

So go on, this year become the person you were meant to be. Be honest with yourself and yet, be gentle. Walk your truth and walk your talk in honesty and integrity and let life unfold before you like a dream.

“If we were more aware of our own shadow, we would not be afraid to look in the mirror.” Esther Austin

Know Thyself

2009-01-08T16:34:00.000-08:00

So here I am, New Year, New Start and already feeling fantastic. There is a sense of peace and knowing within me that permeates through every fibre of my being that this is the year. And yes, for starters I thought that for 2009, I should upgrade slightly and give myself a more professional look. So here I am, with brand new newsletter in tow.

So where do I start? Well it may be a little late in the day but I’m going to start by wishing you all a peaceful and abundant year. Why peaceful and abundance, go to my emotions in transit blogspot to find out more:

Why wishing you abundance? Because even amidst all the doom and gloom of recession etc, etc – we have at our fingertips an abundance of gifts and they are all FREE.

Why peaceful? Because I believe that at this moment in time, the world is going through much upheaval. It is not hard to ignore the constant barrage of Credit Crunch, House Prices, Job Cuts, War etc, etc. It is no surprise that people are now searching for something deeper to enhance their lives? Is it no wonder that a mass weariness and tiredness of just existing on the periphery of existence itself, day in day out have people looking for something deeper to experience in their lives? There has been a shifting of dimensions on the spiritual realm for a long time. An undercurrent of something major about to occur and the reality for many is that God, the Universe, the Higher Powers that Be will no longer wait for our excuses to glide from our mouths in terms of us not taking responsibility for our lives and experiences and ultimately not facing our own truth.

We can see the effects of that shifting before our very eyes and there are some profound messages in all of these dynamics.

I interviewed Hazel Oatey from The Energy Wizard on Monday and we had an incredible conversation which covered many things within the spiritual realm. One key topic matter that came up was the one of being our authentic selves, tapping into our truth and facing our demons in order to find the truth within.

As always with the old cliched "life is a journey" it simply is and cannot be described in any other way. Many people have reached places in their lives, in the here and now, because they have chosen to work towards being here. Many people have chosen to seek truth within themselves because they realise that there is a better more peaceful and harmonious way to live life and not just exist until the sweeping hands of death, gathers us up in his arms.

Finding our true authentic self takes times. We have to go on many journeys, along many pathways. Some of us, myself included, have had to touch the bottom of despair at times only to surface, painfully from the very seeds of the earth,growing along the way and hopefully learning too. This learning serves us in many ways. This learning should be a learning about who we are. This should be a time and place where we can evaluate who we are, reflect and analysis who we are so that we can aim to become a different and hopefully better person.

Yet, the reality for many is that they may never come to this awareness of realising that they need to face the mirror of truth. Yet one thing that came from my conversation with Hazel is that the way the Universe is shifting, many people will not have a choice.

Looking around us, we can see how the world is shifting at a very dynamic and profound pace and the messages of what needs to be learned are so very clear.

We now need to take back responsibility for who we are, for our lives. We can no longer afford to be reliant on the Government and anyway, why should they owe us anything?

Take note people and watch as this shift takes momentum. It is time for you to do whatever you feel is necessary to get to undress your authentic self and you will be so surprised at what you discover about yourself and what you experience in your life.

You want to talk about abundance? Well it is certainly there in front of your eyes to be experienced and enjoyed. But first of all, work on your truth and then you will be able to see these wonderful, free gifts. But just in case your curiosity gets the better of you, I'll let you take a peek anyway:

Love
Peace
Contentment
Happiness
Honesty and Integrity
Values

These are all free to every one of us, but how many of you can say you are truly rich in abundance when you do not even know yourself?

A Wonderful 2009 - to you All

2008-12-26T12:19:00.000-08:00

Dear All

Yes it has been a while now since I have penned something on this site. What can I say. I have been busy - mostly in the throes of doing much reflection and analysis on who I am, now, at the end of 2008 and where I am going. Also, constantly working towards the greater vision and goal of where I want to be in life and it has been a wonderful journey of sorts this year.

I have had my back pushed against the wall so many times, this year it has been an incredible journey of perseverance, learning, growth and sheer determination. Often times, I have been on the verge of screaming from frustration and the sheer amount of work required to get my business up and running. I have been pushed to the limits in terms of juggling my children, temping, continuing building the business, delivering workshops – yet now that I have come to the end of another year – I am in a much stronger, more focussed place. More so, I am finally learning to relax into Esther and enjoy Esther more and give time to Esther more.

I have been doing much contemplation and there is much anticipation about the coming New Year and all the wonderful things I can look forward to in my life. How do I know that 2009 will be a different year or should I say a year when I will once again step up to the mark even more? Because I can feel it, I have seen it in my vision and dream it in my dreams every night. This year has certainly been a very very challenging year for me. I realise that for many people this same is true. Yet how I see these challenges now is how they have honed and toned me, making me into the person I now am, at this moment in time and I am feeling great.

I have really had to take myself apart many, many times this year and slowly put "me" back together. This has meant much meditation, prayer, spending time alone and being still within the presence of God and the Universe. Psalms 46 talks about "be still and know that I am God" and within the stillness of my own space, I have manifested some dynamic things. I have been able to go deeper within myself to see my future. I have once again began the journey of understanding who Esther truly is and experienced the talents and gifts that I have, learning to embrace them, with an authentic voice of gratitude and thanks.

I have had to learn to lean into myself and fully trust that I am guided always, in honesty and truth by a source greater than I and I have had to trust this source 100%at all times and lean into God's arms and you know what this has taught me? not to fear anymore, and to learn to just be "me." Often times, I have found that I have had my barrier up, not fully letting go and experiencing the "real" me in my own personal flow. This has meant that I have often given the perception of being a little more aloof that I really am and I realised this stemmed from me not fully trusting, whether not trusting myself or just trusting. Therefore, what I resolved to do was to break this barrier I often put up because I now wanted to enjoy life more, and enjoy me more and enjoy the fact that, once I fully trusted in God, the higher source, the Universe, then everything would be alright. In this knowledge therefore, I also realised that for me now, I do not equate life and its experiences as right or wrong , positive or negative, because to believe that whatever experiences I go through, I go through them for a reason. The beauty in this understanding is that, what are the lessons learnt from these experiences? What have I learnt about myself? and how can that, therefore, impact on my future?

Take a relationship I was in two years ago that went sour. I now realise that I had to experience that relationship and all the upheaval and heartache it caused in the end, to fully understand something about myself. I certainly learned a lot about myself and one key thing was this, I had to learn to love "Esther" 100% and not just 85%. I was expecting someone else to fulfil the other 15% of who I was, making me whole, but this meant that I was still giving away part of myself to someone else, which is a very unhealthy thing to do. I had to learn to take full responsibility for my role in this scenario and also understand that I deserved only the best. I also realised that I did not have to hold onto something that no longer served any purpose in my life. Therefore after that relationship, I worked on understanding Esther again and after much reflection an soul searching, another painful journey, but one that had to be taken, I asked God and the Universe to provide me with the most wonderful and suitable person for my life, at the right moment in time, and I have already visualised this person into being, it’s just a matter of time. The great thing about this spiritual journey is the manifestation of many things, because 5 years ago, I had visualised the gentleman from my previous relationship and 2 years after that I met him.

Therefore, I believe he was put in my path and life in order for me to undergo some real, serious learning and as the English say "By Jove" I learned some hard lessons, but lessons nevertheless that I had to understand and which have served me so well. The great Mahatma Ghandi once said "Be the change YOU want to see in the world. " Therefore does this not stand true that whatever we are about, whatever we experience in our life, ultimately the buck starts and stops with US.

So on this note, I would like to wish you all a wonderfully dynamic New Year. Whatever you want out of life, it is there for the taking. Just be honest with yourself, first and foremost, be authentic with who you really are, have integrity to your own self, your feelings, etc and you will experience your world in a most wonderful way. Much love to all you wonderful spirits of light and may you forever continue to grow through the power of unconditional love for yourself and your fellow men. A Blessed 2009

You Fill My Head

2008-11-18T14:14:00.001-08:00

You fill my head
You fill my thoughts
You fill my mind with seasonings
Of what if’s and what could be

I lean into myself
Huddling warm into my thoughts
My mind, a vision board of meanderings
Simply evoking beauty
Out of the place where my heart now sits

With every strum and beat of my pulse
I thank God for the space I now reside
A place of gratitude
Experienced only by the
Wonderful ocean of solitude
Which surrounds me like a mist
Silent, yet whole and free

And yes I am glad that I can
Be rest-assured that where I am
Right now, is where I need to be
This place of just being
This place of accepting
A place where love’s unconditional basket,
Constantly overflows
This place where
a thousand drums beat strong around me
Because life beats strong throughout this world
Throughout this dimension
Resonating within me, through me and around me
Rushing strong through me

You fill my thoughts
You fill my mind
You fill me with wishful thinking
Of what if’s and what could be
You fill a gap within my soul
Your presence, defining me

Obama Does it - and so Can You!

2008-11-08T16:42:00.000-08:00

Incredulous? Surprised? Elated? Whatever you are feeling at this moment, this is a defining point in history.

Barack Obama, the first African-American President of the United States.

‘I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.

Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.’ Dr Martin Luther King from his Rhetoric, I have a Dream

And in another great demonstration which represents a shift in dynamics within the spiritual realm which is working for the greater good. In the greater scheme of things, an indication of the sign of the times, this will certainly go down in History as being one if not the most life-changing and powerful statements to the world. In another act of defiance against the mindsets of those who said and believed it would never happen – WELL IT HAS, Barack Obama is the first African-American President of the United States of America. So where do you stand in the persistence and insistence of following your own dreams? Esther Austin

Barack Obama is now a man whose name can join the plethora of greats from the history books of time. Barack Obama now represents that iconic something which many feel is lacking within our community, A Black Role Model and how significant this event has been as this man stands upon such a platform. Can someone get greater than this, other than standing in the shoes of Almighty God?

"Someone was hurt before you; wronged before you; beaten before you; humiliated before you; raped before you; yet, someone SURVIVED." - Maya Angelou

Yet more importantly, apart from our own agenda, this man represents something symbolically profound. He has walked the talk and turned his dream and vision into reality by the conviction of his faith in believing he could make it to the mountaintop. This so called epic scenario is not about where he is now but the journey he has trod which hope, determination, tenacity, perseverance, courage, ambition and faith of character, which has placed him on the platform he now stands.

Certainly, Barack Obama is aware of the consequences that could rear their ugly heads to negatively feed off his success and thwart his future role as President. This man knows the huge responsibility he now carries upon his shoulders. Yet more poignantly he knows that he is about the American People, he is their voice of hope. His purpose is to define change and instigate transformation, to bring the new into existence and give hope to the people of America. He took the teachings of Dr Martin Luther King and turned his dream into reality, representing HOPE to the masses, and surely identifying with “A Change must Come.”

“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” Napleon Hill

The great Marcus Garvey once said ‘Up You Mighty Race, You Can Accomplish What You Will’ and this is something which each and every one of us should use as a mantra. This victory for Obama represents the dreams and visions of many, from as far back as the history books of time define the struggle for power and the right to stand where others have stood.

He stands on the shoulders of great men and women who have gone before, whose lives represented the fight for democracy and freedom, who chose to make a stand, even at the expense of loosing their lives. He stands on the great words of prolific leaders like Marcs Garvey, Malcolm X, Dr Martin Luther King and many more. Therefore, for many who are blinded by those opportunities which surround us every day, because of our own limitations and beliefs and by not having the courage to step outside of our own corridors of fear I encourage you with the words ‘At least try.’

"Don't wish it was easier; wish you were better. Don't wish for less problems; wish for more skills. Don't wish for less challenge; wish for more wisdom." - Jim Rohn

This lesson in its simplicity is – that you can achieve and be anything you want, you just have to find the power of conviction and belief in the message that is in your heart.

75% of people’s thoughts are negative, a well known fact. Conspiracy theories have been floating around the issues of his race, agenda, color etc. Yet for me quite simply this man looked past all this because ‘he had a dream.’ Regardless to what stood before him, he knew that with a strong team around him, a supportive framework, understanding the dynamics of what it truly means to make a sacrifice in order to gain, he now stands victorious in a place where no man of colour has stood before. I dare any of you, therefore, not to let the defeatist in you say ‘I can’t do it’ – and be inspired by the events of this week.

‘Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends.
And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal." Dr Martin Luther King

Challenged in the Highland of Scotland, October 2008

2008-11-02T13:35:00.000-08:00

My last entry touched on challenges and the journey of where they take you in life and the learning experienced from them. How we all deal with such circumstances is different, yet ultimately, they serve a unified purpose in terms of lessons learned. Without God pushing us against the very boundaries of life at times, it would be so easy to become complacent. With complacency there leads a lack of motivation and personal growth. So all in all, whatever we face serve us in some way. This may not be clear at the time, but it will certainly prove true at some point in the future, when we look back on what was and when we can face the truth of what we needed to learn from that experience.

Last week, I went to Scotland as part of a training initiative to tackle gun and knife crime.It was a Youth Leadership Programme, designed to take us outside our comfort zones, which it certainly did. Leadership skills were challenged from many different angles from the emotional, spiritual, physical to the psychological. Many who went, I am sure, felt themselves pushed against the wall of no return, yet at the end of the week, realised that yes they had survived. All body pieces still nicely intact. Thereby identifying that the human spirit is certainly one of tremendous strength and courage and when the tough gets going, the going gets tough.

Part of my experience up in the Scottish Highlands was a survival phase. This involved being kitted out in water-proof gear and being driven across wind swept seas to a secluded island. In gale force winds, we had to carry heavy rucksacks, fish for food which predominantly consisted of mussels and limpets (shell fish). Our teams then had to strategise to build tents and fires. Digging the “pooh” pit was one of my chores and it was at that point realisation hit. It was intriguing trying to decipher the best spot to dig this pit, whether to do this so that one leant against a tree or did I position the hole so that one held onto a tree as one positioned oneself to do “the job.”
It was certainly an amazing how everything around us can be used in some way to form part of a survival strategy.

We were then taken on a range of hair-raising exercises in the cold, hungry as hail and winds lashed us from side to side. We took it in turns to abseil down a cliff, jump off a hill (obviously whilst harnessed to a rope and hoping fervently that team members responded as taught to haul us safely back up, without scratching our faces off on the hillside). We had numerous psychological exercises to perform.

We then had to trudge back for approximately 45 minutes to camp through calf high mud, slipping and sliding in near darkness. Working as a team to keep up morale was great. Everyone helped and supported each other and boosted each other’s spirits and as it steadily grew darker and colder, the realisation that when we got back to camp, we still had to cook and there were only a few rations of mussels and limpets certainly did not make many happy bunnies. Our last activity was sold to us as being given a treat. I am glad that at that point we did not turn around and try to head home because we would never had eaten that night. Upon going on a bit of a treasure hunt to find this “gift” we then had to crack a code to get into the boxes which housed our rations. A few potatoes, some rice, a few carrots, porridge oats, raisins, a few tea bags and oxo cubes. No-one dared to complain, hunger was already making many miserable.

Back at camp the cooking proceeded with only a few small pans to use. Each team member had a role to play. We used a flat rock to cook the limpets on. Limpets look like snails with little antennaes. At first I refused to look at these little, fat creatures with two horns protruding from their being, but we were told they were nutritious and I had not eaten all day, therefore closing my eyes and thinking of a nice leg of lamb, I put one in my mouth and then donned many more after that. Tasted like chicken. The rice was well as good as it got. Hard and grainy, soft and lush. The potatoes and carrots were good, until the pan tipped onto the fire and like scavengers we had to pick them up and yes…..eat them.

After cooking, we then played a few mind games and then went to sort of sleeping arrangements. It was certainly fun getting into our sleeping bags and trying not to slide out of our tent, as we had built our base on a bit of a hill. Not that we had much choice in the matter.

The whole experience was a wonderful wake-up call in the realisation of how privileged we really are and how complacent we have all become. Being pushed outside our comfort zones was certainly uncomfortable for many. Not having a routine, not knowing what was around the corner or what to expect in terms of how our day went. The weather pretty much dictated all this. Especially when the next morning we were up early to rise and told that a storm was brewing, gale force 8 and 9’s and that we had to try to leave the island asap, otherwise we’d be stuffed.

For me, the whole week solidified the notion that when pushed outside our zones, we can do anything. Survival instincts kick in and you do what you have to do without moaning, without fear. Complacency keeps up rooted in the box of fear and many never leave that box, always playing it safe and sound. Yet the learning from pushing yourself out of your comfort zone is so invaluable.

This blog entry is not about you going off and doing something totally crazy. The above tale is just to make you think of where you are at in your life and why you are there. Is fear keeping you staked to a place you no longer want or need to be? Have you lost motivation for life and all the wonderful experiences you can access if you really want?

“Move outside of yourself and your comfort zone every once in a while and experience life from a different viewpoint. Inch by inch, step by step you will gain such a wonderful potpourri of life’s dynamic dimensions that you will wonder why you let fear stop you from embracing life. ” Esther Austin

Taking on Challenges and Keep on Going

2008-11-02T09:49:00.000-08:00

Dear All

Yes it has been a while since I had updated this blog. A long time for me, in fact, to not put words to paper, commit words to computer. As many of you know, I love to write and share my experiences or just to write what I feel, so it is certainly unusual for me not to write for such a long period of time.

It certainly has been a very challenging few months, or maybe I have become a little more sensitive to the road I journey upon. Maybe I have become impatient? Whichever one it is, I am still here, vision on the horizon brimming strongly and like a true trooper I have surrendered myself to the continuum of moving forward, onwards and upwards, against the tide of waves, which often tirade against me.

To say the past few months have been challenging would be an understatement. What has kept me going and held me in a place of sanity has been my ability to meditate often, to have the freedom to talk long, peaceful and reflective walks out in the open, to visit the gym where I can stare unseeing at MTV as I walk away my anxieties and challenges on the treadmill or some other equipment.

Yet, as each challenge faced me, I immediately sought to find a solution or reach out to Plan B, then C. Whatever it took, whatever I needed to do to continue in the normality of my daily routine, I undertook this with that single focus and determination in order to attain my end result.

Though challenges were faced on a daily basis, more so it seems that ever before, I have also made incredible achievements in terms of my personal and business journey to realise my dreams and vision.

My new website is now up and running www.estheraustin.com. It may need to be tweaked here and there, but for me this is a long time coming. I love the logo, which to me captures the essence of who I am. That “EA” is a symbol of everything wonderful. Esther Austin, Excellence Achieved, Encouraging Agenda – however you see me in those two letters, I hope you see my spirit captured there. Oprah Winfrey uses her signature “O” so why not the “EA” and a huge thank you goes out to David Bircham and his wonderful wife for capturing and creating my spirit within the logo.

The past few months have been spent knocking on doors of establishments to let them know that I am here, promoting my services. I am now in a position to move forward with my agenda and do what I love and do well. To deliver my personal transformation workshops and to soul coach those who want to move forward with their lives, but not sure how to.

I have the opportunity to run a workshop at a Conference at the Excel shortly, once again a chance for me to do what I love best to an audience which will be new to me, therefore taking me out of my comfort zone. I have knocked on many doors. Perseverance becoming my middle name. I have made numerous phone calls on a regular and daily basis. Always believing in my dream and vision even when the Yes turned to No’s or there was a lack of interest. Yet, always believing that the break-through to success is just around the corner, I have continued undeterred.

Yet, I have had to stop to analyse this last statement where I say success is just around the corner, because I must admit that I am currently experiencing abundance in my life, and the notion that success is just around the corner, therefore is just that a notion. I therefore realise that I am thinking about this success in monetary and financial terms, which I know will materialise very soon.

I have learned to be grateful for all that I have and have experienced. I have learned that the abundance is right here in front of me, with me, inside of me. I have learned to appreciate the richness in my relationships with my children, family and close friends. I have learned to appreciate the singleness of thought in terms of my creativity. The mere fact that I am able to get up every morning and start a new day doing what I love doing best, is indeed a true privilege. I am enjoying more and more being alone in the space of just being, where I am comfortable with who I am and what I represent. I love to walk and think and reflect. I love to walk with music in my head, soothing and caressing my most intimate thoughts, or creating daydreams which float me on the wings of illusion, delusion. I love to spend time with my children, to watch them grow and to enjoy the relationship we have, bonding and merging. I am grateful for all the wonderful opportunities which flood my way constantly pushing me out of my comfort zone, molding me as an individual and a leader.

Yes, I speak of the challenges I have had yet I speak of the achievements and opportunities which are priceless.

Now, I continue on this journey. To self-actualization? Hmm maybe. The beauty of my journey is that through life’s experiences, I continue to grow and learn, continually reflecting and analyzing and learning and learning and learning.

“To take ownership of your life, you must learn to experience life as a whole. The good with the bad, the old with the new, the Ying and the Yang. Yet the learning from your journey cannot truly start, until you realize your responsibility that accountability for your life and experiences starts with you.” Esther Austin

Great Institutions are being Shaken to the Ground - What Will it Take for Us to Take the Reigns of our lives?

2008-09-16T16:15:00.000-07:00

Today, Tuesday 16th September our family learned that a close family friend, someone who called my mother "mother" was found stabbed to death in Hornsey. It has been on the news. His name was David Stoute a wonderful, wonderful man who constantly gave with love, and who always had a smile on his face and laughter in his heart. There are signs of something bigger brewing all around us.

Today, Tuesday 16th September on my InspireMe show, I spoke about taking a look around us in order to engage with what is truly going on. I spoke about something huge which is brewing throughout the world. I spoke about being able to pick up on a spiritual energy of something enormous, that is shifting and moving around us.

The Celestine Prophecy speaks about a spiritual awakening. The Bible talks about certain things coming to pass in the end days. There are signs, my good people, all around us and we need to wisen up to the tale that is been told.

Great institutions are crashing down around us. Institutions that have stood for years, symbols of a greatness that seemed untouchable, now lie in tatters, their name nothing more than a legend, gracing the history books of time. Institutions that have served the people, acquiring wealth, forging who they were on the validity of status and monetary worth. Institutions housing expensive suits and big ideas – yet where are they now.

And may I be so bold as to list all others that have had to take a bow, institutions they may not all be, but they once stood for something:

Lehman Bank
XL Airlines
Merill Lynch (Currently being bailed out)

The list will certainly go on, my friends. We are also bombarded with buzz words which seep into our subconscious further spreading fear, confining us within the cage of life which we have built around us. “Credit crunch”, "job loses", “house prices going through the roof” “rising fuel bills” and the list goes on and on and one – "the economy is in meltdown".

So look around you slowly and carefully and try to understand the bigger picture, because there is a bigger picture and the spaces in between the truth which we are not seeing clearly are things that we need to be mindful of. Pensions are no longer secure. Mortgages are no longer secure. Can we trust our banks with our investments? Can we trust others to look after our well being from employment, finances, health and wealth?

it is time for us to empower ourselves and stop relying on The Government and blaming others for the decline in our personal world. It is time for us all to find that power that exists within and re-define our lives, so that we all can live in abundance. Conformity should not be part of that package.

What is the tale that we are being told? What is the message that is there for us to see and to take action upon? What is it peoples?

For me, the message is clear. It is time for us to become self-sufficient. It is time for us to take responsibility for our lives. It is time for us to empower our children with more than just the basics we feed them. It is time for us to do what is in our hearts. To reach for the stars, to make changes within our lives, for the betterment and the progression of our lives and existence. It is also time for us to realise what is important in our lives. The simple basics of love, family and friends. Of helping and supporting our fellow human being. Of love and compassion, because when everything else is stripped away from us and those great institutions fall taking our money, our jobs our livelihood - we only have the love of close family and friends holding our hands.

It is time for us to relinquish all those labels which confine and dictate who we are. It is time for us to shrug off those pegs which put us into one category of talent and skill, limiting us in terms of how we see ourselves and how we define who we truly are.

We are neither one nor the other – we are all. We are many things and we are much more. It is time for the carpenter, the painter, the road sweeper the academic, the professional, the secretary to realise that their vocation is a universal one and that within them are many dimensions of being. Take away the labels and we all can be whoever and whatever we want to be. Tap into that reservoir of talent and skill that lays dormant. Tape into the psyche of who you really are. There are signs, people out there telling us that we no longer are in control of anything in our lives. God ultimately has the final call, but he has also given us a plate of choices. He has not given us the funnel of limitation and complacency.

So what will it take in your life for you to realise, you must take the reigns of your own life? Will it take for the demise of another global institution to rattle your shackles a little?

Don’t you get it? Empires and institutions are not only going down, those left standing are frightened, their foundation is being rocked by something much bigger than they can envisage. Here today, gone tomorrow. We no longer have tomorrow on hand to serve us well, we only have today.

The Great Mosiah Marcus Garvey who has been quoted as being one of the greatest mass leaders of all time states:

“Up you mighty Race. You can accomplish what you will”

Regardless of race or creed – his message is pertinent to all.

Marcus Garvey was the first man of colour in the history of the United States to lead and develop a mass movement…the first man on a mass scale…to make the Negro feel that he was somebody….
Martin Luther King Jr – Civil Rights Leader

All the freedom movements that are taking place.. in America were initiated by the work and teachings of Marcus Garvey.
Malcolm X. Muslim Minister

Marcus Garvey talks about many things in the book “Marcus Garvey Said….” Compiles and Edited by Ken Jones

He talks about intelligence. Here he states:

“Never forget that intelligence rules the world and ignorance carried the burden. Therefore, remove yourself as far as possible from ignorance and seek as far as possible to be intelligent.

We are going to emancipate ourselves from mental slaver because while others might free the body, none but ourselves can free the mind. Mind is your only ruler, sovereign. The man who is not able to develop and use his mind is bound to be the slave of the other man who uses his mind. When God Almighty made man in His own image and likeness, it wasn’t the physical, it was the mind that was like God.”

Economic Power

“In a word, my message to you is: Develop yourselves into a commercial and industrial people, and you will have laid the foundation for racial greatness (1919).

Power

The only protection against injustice in man is power – physical, financial and scientific”

Organisation

Get organised; keep separated and you will be exploited, you will be robbed, you will be killed. Get organised and you will compel the world to respect you. If the world fails to give you consideration because you are black men…four hundred millions of you shall, through organisation, shake the pillars of the universe and bring down creation, even as Samson brought down the temple upon his head and upon the heads of the Philistines

..get armed with organization; get armed by coming together….That is your weapon. Their weapon…has been big guns and explosive shells, your weapon must be universal organisation.

There is no-where in Marcus Garvey’s teachings that purport retreat nor giving up. His message always clearly talks about rising up in our own power and strength And marching forward as such. Not relying on others, nor expecting the world to give us what we think it owes us, because we are owed nothing. But he talks about utilising the resources within us.

I could draw so many things from different leaders who grace our history books of time, whose message is one of becoming self-sufficient, of finding inner strength to step outside the conformity box and live life as we should. Live the life which our spirits yearn and cry out for. We must learn to honour this place of authenticity from which our spirit cries out for us to find our truth and live our truth. We can only do this if we follow our purpose and live the dream we were meant to experience and enjoy.

Too many of us are living lives of complacency, fear guiding our every footstep, always living on the periphery of existence itself.

The time has certainly come to move forward with our own personal agenda. Look around you peoples and watch as the great institutions coming crashing down. Look around you and understand what is truly important in your life. Look around you and search your heart for your values and beliefs. Look around you and take back control and responsibility:

“Up you mighty Race
You can Accomplish what you Will”

Don’t wait until the world crashes down around you before you realise what you have truly lost….The power and choice to make a real difference in your own life and follow your purpose, accountable to no-one but God and yourself.

The Truth about our Truth

2008-09-13T15:01:00.000-07:00

Truth – what is truth? Many believe in truth. Many think they know and understand what is truth – yet many are blinded. Is wisdom also truth? Is it an understanding of the dynamics of life and all its complexities which often befall us within the pot of experience? Wisdom offers us the cup of truth. It also offers us the chance to seek deep within the soul what we truly are, a chance to walk hand in hand in the footprint of truth. A favourite quote of mine, by Esther Austin is “If we were more aware of our own shadow, we would not be afraid to look in the mirror.” So ultimately, what does this say about truth? This tells us that through wisdom, we should endeavour to ultimately seek and search for the advancement and betterment of the self, yet can we only establish this through the finding of our own truth?

Indeed, finding our own truth, is therefore the catalyst to opening our eyes to the world and the universe.

Is wisdom fact or fiction, depending from which side of the fence one perceives oneself and depending on whether one has personally faced the mirror of truth and discovered whatever skeleton there is or not in our cupboard! Yet the beauty of life is that, with discovery comes an awareness of, and with this awareness one then has the choice to take action.

For those of us who understand and even overstand – let us bear the light that searches within us, day by day. A light which speaks to our hearts and soul. A light which radiates through and within us so that we stand for the strength of what that light embodies, in the silence of who we truly are.

We need not speak words to prove the expanse of our existence. We do not need to validate who we are through our overstating of actions and deeds. Neither do we need to validate who we are by using ego, arrogance, status, qualifications, merits, material grandeur and wealth to sit on the lapels of our shoulders like sentries. We can be comfortably silent within the abundance and richness of our being, watching with the sacred knowing that we have no-one to account to other than ourselves and to God. Yet being in this place can only be because we have searched and found truth and because truth has allowed us to find her. And in that place of just being, in that place of living within the richness of our own souls, we can quietly climb mountains and build our empires reaching up further into the dimensions of the heavens and still silently maintain who we are.

Many tend to forget that strength comes from understanding our inner truth. Strength is not always vocal, it can be the silent footsteps that walk by your side. It can be the fleeting whisper of the voice of hope when your soul feels down, it can be a smile from a stranger just when you need a pick me up.

Find your inner truth and embrace it. Life is certainly a journey and sometimes we all battle with the distinction of what is truth. So you must let wisdom guide you, deep within yourself. Mediate on who you are and you will be revealed to you. And when you touch your truth, when experience feels you have learned the lessons of life, for that particular moment in time, then your truth will be revealed.

Esther Austin©All Rights Reserved 13 September 2008

Quotes by Esther Austin

2008-09-04T03:03:00.000-07:00

God is the only higher source and power that can BE

Unconditional love nurtures and feeds the soul.

Many times the beauty of peace eludes us, becoming a distant dream, a constant yearning. Yet take time to be still and alone and you will finally understand that peace resides within you.

Little by little, day by day sow your dreams into the foundations of your empire and you will manifest life in abundance.

Procrastination lasts for as long as you give it focus and power.

To daydream is to float within the basket of the clouds, light, free.

We Attract unto us What we are - The Men and Women in my Life

2008-07-21T14:03:00.001-07:00

As mentioned in my previous posting, I am at a place of change again. Always conscious of the shifts that take place within me.

Over the past two weeks, challenging as they may have been, what has helped to strike a balance are the following which have taken the edge off these challenges.

I met a friend last week who has recently come back from Zimbabwe as he had a gift for me. I have a wonderful yet close body of friends who love the outdoors and who love to walk and converse on a conscious and spiritual level. We reflect and evaluate life from all perspectives and the deep level of conversations that we have are always enlightening and informing. So it was nice to walk and talk and hear of his experiences in Zimbabwe and the friendships he formed and the opportunities that have come his way. Yet if you met the gentleman, you can see why he attracts good things his way. He has a strong sense of self, he gives unconditionally and his focus is not on reaping material gain, but on reaching out and helping others and in the helping and caring for he receives back and for each person in my life the same is true. For those who are not yet there, only time will tell and some I know will fall to the wayside. In the bible it states about everything being for a reason and a season.

I had some shopping to do and it was such a pleasant feeling when he paid for my groceries and carried my bags home. A few days later, I went to see a friend of mine who owns a shop in Catford where I purchased some CD’s and he gave me some free. Men hold doors open for me and greet me with a wonderful level of respect. I receive hugs and compliments constantly when we greet each other, and I am content in the knowing that because the “genuine intent” of those around me is about honesty and integrity and respect – that level of communication can never be mis-construed as anything else. Yet what I realise is that, when one has respect for oneself – one can only receive the same from others and also when individuals are grounded in who they are and in their self-worth. So on this level, I have to expect this level of wonderful treatment from the person who will share my life, eventually.

As I am allowing myself to open up more to the abundance that lies in store for me, I am drawing some wonderfully dynamic people into my arena. My female friends are wonderfully spiritual, supportive and caring individuals and as a collective, myself included, look out for each other with an unconditional love and respect that forms bonds and eternal friendships. My relationships with my male friends too have an incredible respectful unity, and are very supportive. Yet the key here is also that this is not a one-way street, because reciprocally, we all look out for each other. The beauty is that like attracts like and in that process, even though many of us are building businesses and are going to be incredibly successful, we still take time out for each other, in our busyness, because no man is an island. What is even more important is that for those who do not take time out to nurture relationships along the way, as they build, often times when the building is complete, they find that people have shifted and changed and as the saying goes “You never know what you’ve got until it’s gone.”

We attract unto us what and who we are and in that summary, as I continue to grow and evolve, as I continue to understand more of who I really am and put God first in everything I do and say, then I know he will always put the right people in my life at the right time. These individuals, at the time, may not always serve, to us what is a positive experience, but believe me they are there for a reason and like I’ve said before, there are no good or bad experiences, per se, just experiences – the importance is in the learning and what you do with the messages you receive.
Also remember that whatever you focus on, you will receive. So if you focus something positive or negative, that is what you will draw unto you.

I have had to learn to shift some of my thinking, because I have been drawing lack until myself in a few areas of my life. But now that I am equipped with the knowledge and understanding of how “what we ask for we get” works, I know that God has some dynamic things lying in store for my life.

On that note I would like to leave with you a quote which sums up everything:

“If we were more aware of our own shadow, we would not be afraid to look in the mirror” Esther Austin

I'm Taking Time out to get to Know Me Again

2008-07-21T13:38:00.000-07:00

Recently, I have been going through some more changes and shifts within myself.
As always life is an ever evolving series of challenges and experiences. An ever revolving door of many experiences and dynamics which whether we classify them as “good” or “bad” experiences, represent experiences as a whole. Therefore, if being of a higher consciousness and having an innate awareness of ones self, what is key about such experiences is the learning from them and the messages that come from that learning.

I am very tired at the moment, mentally and emotionally. I have been burning the midnight oil at both ends and to a certain degree this is to be expected as I build my empire. Yet, I have also made great in-roads in learning to take time out for me, to have some quiet time. I try to pray and meditate for at least 20 minutes in the morning, every day –I find this sustains and grounds me for my day ahead.

Yet since coming back from Peru, my body has felt a little heavy and tired and I have felt particularly challenged over the past two weeks especially. As always, when I sense a shift within myself or the need to dig deeper within to see what is really going on inside of Esther, I get down on my knees and pray then I meditate. In the stillness of being, this is when answers come to me and time and time again the message to “Be still and know that I am God” and “Stand firm in who you are, Esther” is given to me. These messages after careful thought and reflection often tell me that I need to really take time out, not just a mere 20 minutes here and there but at least half an hour of just being still, not even to meditate nor pray. This quiet time is so that I can re-charge and allow myself to channel into the depth of me, where my thoughts can roam free and I can just “be” in that space for that particular period of time.

I realise I have made some profound achievements this year – yet I have lost a little of myself in the process i.e confidence and self-belief. At present, I am operating at around 65% of my real capacity.

I went for Reiki treatment today as someone kindly offered to give me some healing treatment, because she sensed I needed to be pampered. My back has been aching for a while and this has proven to be a manifestation of worry about something in my life at present. What came out of the consultation session was amazing. Everything that had manifested itself to me in my meditations over the past two weeks was revealed at this session and the most shocking thing to me, even though subconsciously I knew, was that I needed to work on building confidence, trust and love in and with myself. I needed to take a step away from the daily rigor of life and address “Who is Esther?” “What does Esther want from life?” “How can Esther really learn to love herself 100% again?” and “Do the people, situations and circumstances in my life serve me?” I had to answer “No” a few times, realising that if I want the best out of life, if I want what is best for my children and I then I have to let go and let God and understand that whoever or whatever God has got planned for my life, will be the best thing for me.

Somewhere in between the hurrying and scurrying and building and looking after and caring and nurturing of business, children and others, I had lost a part of me and now feeling drained and weary my body was saying to me, time out.

I will be going away for a brief period shortly and I will not be taking my laptop or work with me. I will be taking a few books and lots of music and I will begin to journal my feelings and the new experiences I know will happen to me as I find “me” time and as I learn to value and truly appreciate Esther for who she really is. I will be doing a lot of reflecting and sometimes even just sitting and just “being” me in that moment. I will also be going out and enjoying myself, tapping into the more adventurous side of me and allowing myself to be taken out and treated like the Goddess that I truly am.

I am not even waiting until I reach where I am going to start this new journey, but am starting this adventure now and you now what, it feels great and liberating already. I want to experience life with all its abundance and fullness. I now know more clearly than ever what and who I want in my life and only the best will do. I now feel a sense of relief that being open to the truth about who I am and having an awareness of what I need to work on, is helping me on my incredible journey through life.

Like Whitney Houston Sang “Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all” – and I’d better believe it.

The Greatest Gifts are within us - and they are free

2008-07-17T05:35:00.000-07:00

What is the true value of life if we do not have some simple and basic elements which make life complete. The joy of love, appreciation and gratitude is something which many fail to understand and utilize in their lives.

These are basic and simple gifts which we all have access to 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. These are wonderful gifts "which have no material value, yet their worth is more than silver and gold and their impact in and on our lives and those around us is more than can ever be counted.

These are the gifts which make us truly rich, because whether we are rich or poor in monetary and materialistic gains the ultimate test of the value we put on our lives is can we still access, understand and enjoy the above gifts only when we have it all, or can we still be in a place of contentment when the chips are down as well.

There are many more beautiful gifts available to each and everyone of us. It has been said that when things are free we fail to see the significance and importance in their value. For many of the beautiful things that we have access to freely, gifts which are within us, carved not by sweat, toil and tears but from the womb of unconditional and the purity or love, many of us do not recognize nor appreciate.

Everything we need to enjoy the basics of life is at our fingertips. Everything, that is, that will allow our souls to find contentment, peace, joy and love. If we do not have these elements within ourselves first, how then can we expect to find this in another person and our lives as a whole. Yet with everything in life, it is about acknowledging and recognizing what is before us and how we use these resources and more profoundly, it is about the recognition of the self. Once we get to know who we really are, then we can access all that is ready for us, embrace these gifts then share them as they were intended to be used.

I have just started to read "I Can Make You Rich" by Paul McKenna and I would like to leave you with a few quotes from that book which to me really put things into perspective:

"All wealth is created in the mind."

"The difference between the rich and the poor is that the rich have learned to recognize the value of their thoughts."

"because, as you will soon realise, being rich isn't just about you - it's about how you impact the world around you and the legacy you leave behind"

There is also a wonderful quote by Steve Forbes, billionaire publisher who says:

"The real source of wealth and capital in this new era is not material tings. It is the human mind, the human spirit, the human imagination and our faith in the future."

So take some time today to think about what is really important not only to you, but to those around you and how you personally make an impact on the world. With the above gifts at your fingertips - you can only but go from strength to strength and be a dynamic and positive force in someone's life.

The Art and Importance of Communication

2008-07-03T16:08:00.001-07:00

Communication is one of those profound aspects of life which enables life to flow and exist on a plane which makes the world go around and life happen. Communication is an art in itself and one that often astounds us with its many intricate, complex and complicated ways of expression. It is certainly an expressive conduit, having a life force of its own in many dimensions and through many mediums.

Communication is not just what we say and how we say it. It is something which is universal in its own right and which spans language verbal and non-verbal. It is about building rapport, linking, making contact, integrating, blending and merging, reaching out, building bridges and crossing divides. What is always so amazing are the numerous ways in which communication takes place and still makes itself understood. Sometimes off the wall ways of communication still enable the process of rapport building to take place. Communication is what holds the basic threads of life together at a very cellular level, a continual intertwining and connecting of the unseen and seen, the verbal and non-verbal. It gives understanding to our existence through a means..

Body language a communication vehicle all of its own, sending out messages sometimes sub-consciously, without our conscious effort even realising that we have delivered messages of which we are not aware of. Perception then comes into play. How others perceive us, our behaviour, our actions certainly reflect back to us who we think we are. Yet going further still into the human psyche, exploring the depth of the soul itself, communication sets another trend. That of the soul and spirit which communicates and resonates on a level which many people, unless vibrating on a certain frequency, may never fully understand the subliminal messages that our spirit sends out. Reading energies another communicative gift. The beauty often on this realm is that of simply “knowing” a feeling communicated through the coming together and understanding of oneself and this form of communication can only be experienced through the surrealism of being in a higher place, not superior, just resonating on an ethereal or spiritual level.

We all operate at different levels. This in part, has to do with our journey and the path we are on. Pathways are put in place, not only to guide us, but also for our growth and ultimately our learning. There are many paths in life, each leading to an end result which therefore determines our destination. Then there are the experiences which mould us into the beings we are at this present moment in time. We are guided by various forces onto the paths we now find ourselves on, communicated to us by decisions we make, external and internal influences and many other dynamics of life’s persuasions.

Whatever we are about and wherever we are at this moment in time, was at some point in time communicated to us. We may not be aware of this as often times, in the basic living of daily life we become caught up in the dimensions of purely existence, whilst life whittles away, decisions are often made for us without us being aware. Once again communicated to us subliminally without our awareness.

Communication is a powerful tool, a tool that conquerors and divides, dependant upon which game you play and how you play it. Yet what is fundamentally key in terms of the importance of communication is that in this expressive cooking pot, which blends lives, experiences and the existence of humanity into a cohesive coalition of the bringing together of and uniting of - communication as with the power of love certainly makes the world go around, reaching deeper than the ocean and reaching up to touch celestial beings and even if it be said “other life forms.”

They say love makes the world go around. Well what could be said of communication is that “it expressively and subtly gives a platform to and holds the threads of the global voice of life together.”

Account of My Trek to Peru, The Challenges Faced and Lessons Learned

2008-06-29T15:52:00.003-07:00

Hello All

I have yet to write about my trek to Peru and there have been many requests to-date for me to share my experience. Funnily enough, up until now, I have not felt a sense of wanting to share – maybe a tired resignation that it is done and dusted, an experience of a lifetime My main objective of doing this was to find peace from the pain of loosing my younger sister to breast cancer over a year ago.

Then again, there were quite a few lessons I learned up there at 4,500m above sea level. There were quite a few experiences which, if I share, will allow someone somewhere to reflect on their lives and look back at situations or experiences that have occurred in their lives.

I feel now is the time to open up a little.

Trekking the Inca Trail was certainly an incredible challenge. I had trained quite diligently for this event. It was something I had to accomplish, the end reason being that I was doing this in honour of my late sister.

Trekking the Inca, putting myself through this incredible challenge was for me a way to help ease the pain of the lose of my sister. I wanted to push my body as hard as I could. I wanted my body to be forced outside of its comfort zone and I guess subconsciously I wanted to feel as much pain as possible, so that in some way I could understand the pain my sister experienced on her journey with breast cancer. Yet I realised that nothing in this world could let me experience the pain my sister experienced, even by the experience I was confronted with on the mountaintop and many times over.

The first two days in Peru were for the group to acclimatise and to do a bit of sight seeing. The third day we went for a gentle walk and tour, then after that the real challenge began. On approximately day 5 of the trek after climbing for what seemed like hours on end, progressively going up the mountain step by step, camping, then continuing the journey upwards on the next day we reached the pinnacle of one of the mountains and then began our descent. It was around 4pm on this particular afternoon when my right leg started to wobble and shake furiously. I managed to find a rock to sit on hoping that the shaking would subside. A few of my fellow walkers stood with me, laughing and chatting and a little worried at my state. As I stood up to walk again, my whole body started to shake and my legs gave out under me.

I was quite taken back because of the intensity of the shaking and also due to the loss of control in both my legs. A wonderful person who I met on the trip called Chris, then helped me up again after about 20 minutes of sitting down and with my stick in one hand, I tried to walk, but I couldn’t as my body once again started to tremble and as I lost control again over my mobility, the trek doctor and a couple other men had to grab hold of me and put me in a sitting position. The doctor initially said it was fatigue. Then he radioed for a porter from base camp to come up and get me. In other words, I had to be strapped to the back of a porter carried back to camp. It was a scary feeling to realise that I no longer had any control over my body.

As I finally reached back to camp on that day, the shaking continued and I had to breathe into a plastic bag – I needed oxygen. I panicked slightly and my breathing had become ragged and laboured and it took a while for the shaking to stop and for me to regain some composure – all the while breathing into a plastic bag.

I was carried back to my tent to rest and hopefully tomorrow everything would be fine. I remember wanting to go to the toilet later that evening and two women from the trek kindly offered to help me, supporting me on both sides my arms over their shoulders. Thinking after some rest, my legs would surely be back in working order, I managed to get half way to the portable toilet when my legs gave way again and the shaking started again. Someone dashed off to get three men from the trek group to carry me. I managed to get inside the portable cabin and then because my legs could not hold me up, I crashed onto the toilet sending the whole tent collapsing. At this time I began to feel frustrated and totally helpless and I am not usually one to feel defeat.

The next morning I woke up feeling much better. I now had to walk at the back of the group with the doctor and two other local guides and the trek instructor as they wanted to keep an eye on me. After about three hours walking, my right leg started to shake and my whole body went into spasms again. It was then decided that I be given an injection to stop the pain and which helped with the shaking. It was a slow and long process for me, as this shaking hindered my progress, but what was great was that Chris and a few others stood by me. On many occasions, Chris who I now called my Guardian Angel, held my hand during the course of the day guiding me, stabilising me, talking with me and cracking jokes and it was good to talk and laugh, taking my focus off my progress.

Many times the doctor asked if I wanted to be carried when he saw me struggling, but I had to say no. I hadn’t come so many thousands of miles from London to be carried when I had come with a particular purpose and mission in mind. So for the next few days until the end of the challenge, I was topped up with injections every four hours and with my stick and the support of others around me, painfully and slowly made my way up and down the Inca Trek. Another wonderful Welsh gentleman whom I called my Guardian Angel No 2 called Rhys, Chris’ friend carried my bags in between times, kept an eye out for me and between them both I felt like a Queen.

Yet for me some of the most important things on the trek was firstly making it to the top, secondly the scenery along the trail was absolutely stunning. I cannot find words to describe what it was like. This is an experience that individuals will have to experience on a personal level. Thirdly, I have raised over the £2,600 that was required for Breast Cancer Haven and in that alone, I know this money will go to help Breast Cancer Haven provide services so importantly needed in order to help ease someone else’s pain. I certainly know that my sister’s pain was helped profoundly by this organisation.

Lessons Learned:

My spirit had already told me what lessons I had to learn about my “healing on the mountain top” and my experiences of total and utter loss of control over my body. I also had a rather powerful conversation with many close and wonderful spiritual friends, one being a beautiful person called Magnus who also revealed the below to me:

1 I needed to really take the time to look after myself better
2 I needed to relinquish control of my life and be open to receiving help and support both in my personal and business life.

I had spent so many years holding up a lot of things on my own, that I had become a bit of a control freak. Trying to do everything myself and not letting anyone into my life or space. Before I went to Peru, I was tired, exhausted, weary and had become a little disillusioned with my dream. I had asked God to please give me a break, give me a hand, open up the doorway a little wider for me to just see the trees through the wood. Now, that I have let go and let God, people and situations have now come into my life to help me on this here journey and it is great.

So the healing which took place was when God literally took me down onto my knees, humbling my carcass where I had to accept help from people around me to the extent of having someone hold my hand down a mountainside for hours on end as I wobbled my way to camp literally every night, tired, exhausted at the extra 2 hours I had to do in order to make it there – but you know what I did it. Yet what was also wonderful was the support and enoucouragement and caring from all those around me on the trek. it was wonderful how we all supported each other in some way, from the crazy room mates that I shared my room with.

I now know that God is refining and strengthening me every step of the way for the bigger role he has for me to play. For every barrier and obstacle there is a lesson in how we deal with them. For me it was a matter of keeping going and when the going got tough and the tough got going – ultimately it is in how one deals with this that defines who we truly are. I realise that with all this testing in my life it is for a reason. I realise that the role I have to play is enormous and I will be challenged often. Yet what God has told me time and time again especially over the past few months is “Stand firm in your own strength and ground yourself in me” and you know what I am not ready to be and take on whatever I have to do in this life, because I know what my divine purpose is and who I need to be.

On that note, I am already thinking of doing the Sahara Trek in 2010.

Quotes by Esther Austin

2008-06-10T16:35:00.000-07:00

"Unconditional love nurtures and feeds the soul"

"Time is more than a healer, it is a place where one can re-discover the true essence of oneself again without hurry nor limitations of time itself."

"Reflection in the mirror of life means looking at those who live in your life"

"When everything is stripped away from you and all that is left is the whisperings of your soul, tis then you will realise that the only real thing of value in your life are family and true friends"

"Fear can only become our first name, if we succumb to its seductive arms."

Trek the Inca Itinerary - May 17th - 26th May 2008

2008-06-07T16:46:00.000-07:00

Day 1 – Saturday 17th May
Travelled from London to Lime via Amsterdam. In total this was approximately a 16 hour flight.

Day 2 – Sunday 18th May
Lima – Cusco
We had to get up around 6am to catch a domestic flight over the Andes to the history city of Cusco (3400 above sea level). We were then transferred to our overnight hotel where we spent the next 3 nights. We were able to explore this afternoon and then had dinner at the hotel and a briefing.

Day 3 – Monday 18th May
We had another free day in Cusco. Quite a few people were now suffering from altitude sickness, such as severe headaches, vomiting, diarrhoea. I had a very giddy head and felt a little tired.

Day 4 – Tuesday 20th May
This was an optional day tour and included a visit to the Sacred Valley, the Inca site and a visit to the market town of Pisac. We had a gently hike over part of the Inca Trail which took me outside of my comfort zone.

Day 5 – Wednesday 21st May 4-5 hours
We left Cusco to visit Ollantaytambo and Huayllabamba.
Another early rise (around 5.30am) by coach to the market town of Ollantaytambo. This was our last visit before we reached the Inca Trail. From there is was another hour by coach before we started trekking at an altitude of 2500m.

We trekked two hours until lunch time. During the break there was a cultural talk as we overlooked the first of the Inca Ruins. From there we trekked another 2-3 hours to our overnight camp at Huayllamamba (3000m),

Day 6 – Thursday 22nd May 7-8 hours
Huayllabamba – Warmiwanuska (Dead Woman’s Pass) – River Paqaymayo
From Huayllabamba the trail climbed steeply along the banks of the River Llullucha. After about 2 hours, we took a break beside the river. We then continued for a further 2 hours through beautiful cloud forest until we stopped for lunch at Lullchampampa at 3850m. After lunch we set of slowly for the last 2 hours which took us over Dead Woman’s Pass – Warmiwanuska at 4200m. This was the highest point of the trek and the altitude made it a slow ascent with the air becoming increasingly thinner. From the top there is a steep and tiring descent to our camp in picturesque surrounds near the River Paqaymayo (3600m).

Day 7 – Friday 23rd May – 8-10 hours
River Paqaymayo – Runkuracay – Phuyu Pata Marca – Winay Wayna
Another early start. A 45 minute steep ascent to Runkuracay – 3800m, a small archaeological site. Along the way we trekked by a lack. From the Pass it is 45 minutes – 1 hour descent, which started with a short tunnel and then down stpes frollwed by a gradual downhill stretch to the well preserved Inca ruins at Sayaqmarca (3600m). After lunch we ascend then more gradual up-hills with some level terrain. We continue into lush forest valley for lunch. After lunch a steep ascent, into a short tunnel. At Phuyu Pata Marca (Town above the clouds) we stopped to enjoy the views and another cultural explanation. Afterwards it was an 1 12 downhill section through beautiful cloud forest Today was a very long and difficult day. Camped out.

Day 8 – Saturday 24th May 3-4 hours
Winay Wayna – Intipunku – Machu Picchu – Cusco
Another early start 4.00am in order to reach Intipunku (Gates of the Sun) for sunrise. The trail is undulating with a series of very steep steps. From here it is possible to glimpse the awe inspiring Lost City of the Incase, Machu Picchu.

Day 9 – Sunday 25th MayLate morning flight from Cusco to Lima. Transfer to the City Centre for lunch and last minute shopping before catching flight to London.

Day 10 – Monday 26th May
Arrive back in London.

Quotes by Esther Austin

2008-05-12T03:37:00.000-07:00

QUOTES BY ESTHER AUSTIN

The love of a man is but a tear drop in the ocean. Yet if you aim higher than the moon and the stars, you will attract the love of your soulmate which will unfold in your heart like the flourishing of a dream.

This special love will surf on the wings of the wind, timeless, endless, a journey of togetherness and unity and you will both become one, a body of two blessed souls, unique within that cocoon of divine love.

Learn to love yourself first and foremost. You will find that this is the most noble and honest gift you can render to the world.

Learning to love yourself first and foremost is the best gift you can give yourself. Not acknowledging nor appreciating this gift you will surely sacrifice a harmonious, loving and fruitful relationship with those you love. Therefore, why hinder their chances of enjoying a fulfilling and beautiful life by your selfish actions of not loving yourself first?

All rightsreservedEstherAustinMay2008

My Own Personal Confession

2008-04-25T15:41:00.000-07:00

Dear All

Usher called one of his albums “Confessions” and so I feel I must also take his lead to share something with you all which I hope will help many of you who are on a journey of self-discovery and who just may be “going through” at this moment in time. Yet, I will never give up on my quest to continue building my empire.

The past few weeks have been extremely, extremely challenging for me. I realise I am not unique in being in this predicament, but like the old saying goes “it’s not what you go through that counts but how you deal with the situation.”

I had allowed myself to become overwhelmed by life. As many of you know, I am building a business or should I say “empire.” But somehow, I had allowed myself to become overwhelmed by it all.

I am training for a sponsored event trekking Peru from 17th May to 26th May. One of the major factors for life becoming a bit of a burden was in my relentless pace of just work, work and more work. In my mind, I needed to start earning money and I wanted to look after my children the best I could. Therefore in the midst of all this, I had failed to look up to see where I was heading. I had failed to notice the tell tale signs of “burn out”, I had failed to notice that I was no longer listening to my spirit, my inner guide, to God’s voice. A series of events then occurred which totally threw me off balance and my world began to spin out of control and in the process I lost my spiritual connection to myself and God.

From the beginning of the year, I had began to take proper heed to those voices which said to “slow down Esther and look after yourself.” To me looking after myself was to spend a good half an hour in the sauna after my work out at the gym. I also started to go to bed around 11.30pm if I felt tired, ratherthan burning the midnight oil until 1am or 1.30am in the morning. Yet, my body needed more than that. It needed pampering, loving, it needed some serious time out, yet I continued to push myself harder and harder. What was also diagnosed after a session this week with a masseur was that I was holding a lot of tension in my back, that being I had not yet learned to deal fully with the death of my late sister over a year ago who I miss terribly and I guess I am still angry at the pain she suffered as I still see images in my mind of her suffering.
.

What really attributed to this intense pressure over the past two weeks were my finances. The bigger and more spiritual part of me that was briefly in existence offered me the hope that everything would be alright and in my heart of hearts I know this to be the case. Yet, the more human side of me had began to worry. I had managed to keep the worry at bay for a while until things started to go belly side up around me.

At this stage, I should’ve got down on my knees even more and prayed harder. I should’ve taken more time out to meditate to calm and still my mind which would’ve enabled me to find inner peace and to show me guidance of what to do. These have always been my place of comfort when the going gets tough, along with listening to music. I also realised that I was somehow shutting down to the world around me when I failed to find humour in life and everything started to annoy me and I really began to retreat internally. I also developed negative thoughts and sometimes just felt the need to “punch someone’s lights out”

All these tell tale signs were a cry from my body to just take time off the fast train. Then last week my back went on me. My legs and back had been aching for quite a while and I had thought it was the intense training I had been undertaking, little did I know it was how I was using my laptop, which I would perch haphazardly on my knee and also from standing up in the Cold at Camden Market, where I sell my books and CDs. My back muscles had now become so tight I was like a brick, I was in constant pain. I have to have a succession of treatments to realign my neck and one of my vertebrae’s. Yet I have not become despondent. My journey has just begun as I know I am being tested once again.

After one incident too many when I said something untoward in an email to someone I love very much, I realised I had really been derailed. I was astonished that I could’ve gone so low with my remark and realised it was time for me to look at Esther in the mirror and commence a detox of mind, body and spirit.

I fasted for a few days and shut myself off from the outside world. I had to deal with my demons. I had to become authentic again. I was not prepared to stand up and talk to people about empowerment whilst being in this painful space. People commented on how my energy was low and the spark seemed to have gone out of me. But I knew that I had to take charge of me and deal with me.

I am not telling you all the above because I want sympathy. Hell no, because for me the above is all part of an entrepreneur’s journey and has taught me many valuable lessons about myself and how I operate. It has taught me the value of silence, of being still, of appreciating and respecting me. It has taught me that staying connected to God, the Universe, the one true source is the only way I could continue to be guided in the right path. This experience also taught me to listen to my body long before I get to the stage where everything shuts down. It has taught me that taking time out to enjoy and do absolutely nothing is ok. It has taught me that we only have this here moment. Tomorrow is not guaranteed, yesterday is gone, so having today, this moment is all that really matters.

So after detoxing my mind, body and spirit and getting myself back on track, it is a wonderful feeling to know I am in a space now where I can readily face my demons and deal with myself. I am glad that I am not in such a space where my spirit becomes unsettled if I do anything which does not sit well with my spirit.

As always I use this quote by Ghandi which says “Be the Change you want to see in the world.” Therefore, ultimately the buck always stops and starts with the self. We can use the blame game in life for ever and a day, but ultimately the buck stops with us.

I will now be taking time out on a more regular basis even if it means sitting and watching the flies on the wall. I want to see my empire standing yet if I continue at the rate I am going I will never glimpse that for which I am working towards. And you know what? All the other things I mentioned above have now taken second place, because my spirit has told me once again that everything is going to be alright.
I guess therefore, that God is testing me again and moulding me for the bigger things which he has in store for me and I have to be ready for that responsibility.

The Power of Music

2008-04-23T14:52:00.000-07:00

Music has always influenced mood, been a powerhouse of self-expression, changed world views, changed history, been a voice for those whose voices no longer sing.

Music, a powerful medium an expressive conduit which can carves teardrops from within the soul either making us weep or sending us onto an ecstatic plateau where laughter permeates our very psyche. Music something which lifts and inspires, enticing us to come out of our shells, places where we often hide away from who we really are, enticing us to come out into the open, if only for a brief moment, to enjoy life and to enable us to look in the mirror of our inner souls.

To me “You Raise me up” is a fantastic melody of richness, depth, poignancy. The voices on this track serenade, entice, seduce, uplift. The power behind the words carry us into dimensions of an awakening of the spiritual and almost into an ecstatic abyss. Listening to this track I am often transported into a place where my heart feels as if to burst.

Music has always been an empowering medium for me. I have walked with different genres of music in my soul at different times in my life to suit my moods. When I need a dose of the sun in my heart, I can turn to a touch of Bill Withers and “It’s gonna be a lovely Day”, when I need to revive my sagging spirit I can turn to Chakka Khan with “I’m Every Woman” or “One Moment in Time” By Whitney Houston. When I want to get jiggy with it and throw all caution to the wind and just shake myself free from all inhibitions I put on “Ain’t no stopping us Now” by McFadden and Whitehead. Throughout all the various moods exhibited, I can engage and express myself accordingly, music giving me the freedom to express who I am at that moment in time, however I want.

Yet "You Raise Me Up" is one of those dynamic songs that takes me further than the experiences expressed above. It seems to seep into every part of my psyche and nervous system, creating a spirit of its own which transcends into a realm of surrealism. You may say that I am over-doing things here, that music is music a wonderful creative medium to enjoy and nothing more. But to me, a spirit who experiences life in depth, music is like a lover to me, something that brings out the best in me, influences how I feel, enhances how I feel, touches parts of my soul that nothing else can. So if you get the chance, listen to Il Divo’s rendition of “You Raise Me Up.” Josh Groban and Westlife have also rendered takes of this powerful song.

Reflective Listening to you all

Time

2008-04-15T14:26:00.000-07:00

Time passes by
Relentless in its sweep
Gathering pace as minutes turn into hours
And days into months
Our lives becoming rolled up
into a moment of many dreams and visions
heartbeats existing within the single inhalation of breath
so fleeting, we can never catch the sound
as we exhale

Life, so very short
So enjoy this here moment
Embrace the soul who sits with you
In lover’s sweet encounter

Time passes by
this time
Slow in its embrace of life
A lingering whisper of thoughts
And bleary-eyed visions
Which glide out to the ocean
A mist of memories
lightly dancing on the frontier of existence itself

Life, still so very short
So enjoy this here moment
Embrace the soul who sits with you
In lover’s sweet encounter

Time a precious commodity
The treasure of all treasures
Unique in its power
A totality of control
yet empowered it reigns with
elegance and grace
No boundaries, nor guidelines
No walls to bounce off from
No written script, no standard guidelines
Free like the dove which sits in our hearts

Life, so very short
So enjoy this here moment
Embrace the soul who sits with you
In lover’s sweet encounter

Esther Austin All Rights Reserved 15th April 2008

Without a Vision Who are we?

2008-03-21T13:51:00.000-07:00

Hello once again my good people

The past few weeks have been an incredible time. My journey as it surpasses many stages and walks many experiences has been incredible or even I may say awesome. Opportunities have presented themselves before me like never before and as my workload gathers pace and intensifies, I can feel it in my heart and spirit that my breakthrough is just around the corner. I know I am just on the periphery of breaking through.

My decision, 2 years ago to step out of the 9-5 was for me the best decision ever. I chose to follow my heart to pursue my dreams. Yes, there have been many challenges, yet it has been through these experiences that I have been moulded which have delivered the person I am now. They say that “Success is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration” and that is a truth that only those who have chosen to walk this road, can identify with.

I often say I work a 28 hour, 9 day week – yet what is so great about this path is that I absolutely enjoy what I do. I am passionate about what I do, I love what I do, I can see the bigger vision of what I do, I create the events of my day, I manage my own diary. For me there can be no better freedom than that of working for myself and creating an empire out of my own personal dreams.

When Dr Martin Luther King said “I have a dream” he didn’t just sit on it and moan and complain about the circumstances that surrounded him. The so called establishment at the time, did not care much for a man who was galvanising a people to fight for freedom and equality, and everyday he knew he would face threats and come up against incredible barriers. Yet what did Dr King have which also enabled many other great people to grace the history books of time? He had a dream and more importantly he had a vision.

Without a vision there is nothing to aspire to. Without a vision there is no beginning nor ending. Without a vision man cannot feed his spirit nor soul, because everything then becomes worthless, and life a constant treadmill – a staircase to heaven yet leading no-where. What this means is that the possibilities are there for each and every one of us, if we so want it, to go beyond the stars reaching for greater and better heights, yet often times the power of complacency and the grip of fear keeps us sedated in the here and now.

I started my first empowerment show called InspireMe on www.playvybz.com on Tuesday 18th March 2008. For me this was another chance to step outside my comfort zone, to see what other skills were laying dormant within me and to apply myself. I really enjoyed imparting my knowledge once again through another medium and for me now, I have given myself the challenge to see how far I can really go and what other avenues I can tap into.

People, the world is your oyster and we should scan the treasures of the great ocean of time, to find our fill and find out what we have to offer the world. Some of you are probably content to be where you are at and that is absolutely fine. Yet for those who strive for something more and need support in getting there, believe that you will find the resources around you to help you reach there. This is another favourite poem by Langston Hughes which I think sums up everything:

Dreams Deferred

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
Like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?

Langston Hughes

Today I find myself Reflecting on Past Times

2008-03-21T13:49:00.000-07:00

Today I find myself
Reflecting on past times
And the journey which I have just trod
I reflect on the experience
which have moulded me
and shaped my destiny
my thoughts, rivers which run
into the whole of me
powering the momentum of action
creating, breathing life into
the person who represents me
which identifies me as who I am
I am who I am at this moment in time

Today I find myself
On a spiritual ladder of contentment
Where I am easily guided into the
Moment of truth
No longer afraid to face my reflection
No longer afraid to look into my eyes and
Into the windows of my inner soul
I am revealed on many levels
Because truth imparts itself within and without of me
I am the mirror of who I am
I am the inner of who I am
I am the outer of who I am
I can no longer hide dark secrets about me
Because the conviction of my spirit which encapsulates my soul
Will not allow me to be inauthentic

Today I find myself
In a place where I have conquered many things
Yet still I strive for the betterment of myself
Yet still I rise, into the clouds of understanding
Continuously evaluating who I am
And what I stand for
What representation to others do I offer?
From what perspective do I live my life
And am I truly honouring and respecting who I am?
So that this be reflective of my life around me?

Today I find myself
Nodding the sentiments of the Great Ghandi
When he quoted:
“Be the change you want to see in the world”
For only in doing so, only in taking
Responsibility for ones own choices and decisions made
Can we truly find the contentment that awaits us
Just around the corner

So tomorrow I will find myself
Pondering on the actions of my yesterday
And realising that the continual striving
And journey of the self, has not yet begun

Esther Austin©All Rights Reserved 21st March 2008

Today I Finally Looked in the Mirror

2008-02-25T16:17:00.000-08:00

I wrote this piece after speaking to a friend today. I had experienced the below two years ago when I had to look in the mirror. So I hope the below helps someone somewhere in the journey through life. Much love

Today, I looked in the mirror, finally finding the courage to face my soul. I whispered to myself “You are beautiful.” The silence that stretched before me surprised me. The ache that swept through my body, surprised me. I felt downcast, disappointed, rejected. My soul shed a tear at that moment because I had missed the reason why it was important to look in the mirror. I questioned my soul asking “Was this not what you wanted me to do? Am I not being authentic? Have I not taken the courageous step of confronting my fear of being able to face the mirror without fear, self-hate or pity?” What more did my soul want me to do? What more was expected of me? Had I not journeyed to this place for so long a time that exhaustion had swept its way into my very psyche?

As the tears welled up even more from within me, a pain like the sear of fire tore through me. Yet, still I could not understand. I wanted to walk away from that mirror, I wanted to smash that mirror, because the mirror was trying to tell me something, that I could not, at that moment comprehend. Yet the answer to this dilemma was right in front of me and I failed to see it.

I then turned to face that mirror once again, a determined and defiant glint in my eye. I stood in the silence of my own searching. I stood ready to receive whatever would unfold before me. Every part of me screamed for the answer to be revealed. What was it that I had done wrong? What was it that I was still searching for? Once again silence shrouded me. A small voice came to me to listen to the voice within. I needed to be still. I needed to learn to listen and only then would the truth be revealed to me. I had to learn to be obedient to my own inner voice. I had to learn to be obedient to the message that God was delivering in me and through me, but first of all, I had to learn to be still.

And then a voice came to me saying you deny yourself the right to be and feel beautiful. You reject the inner beauty of your soul and who you really are. I stared at myself and as my soul began to emerge from the dross I had built over it. As my soul began to emerge from the hate that had surrounded it. As my true self began to emerge from the point of stagnation, arrogance, fear and confusion that I had allowed to consume my inner spirit it suddenly dawned on me. I had chosen to use the wrong words. I had chosen to use words of a defeatist nature. I had to reclaim my personal power and responsibility to me. So the first line of this article should read thus:

“Today I looked in the mirror, finally finding the courage to face my soul. I shouted to the hilltops that I AM BEAUTIFUL. Because I had whispered to myself “You are beautiful” in that instant I had given away my personal responsibility to accept that I was worthy. In that instant when I “whispered” these words, I was stating that I was small and insignificant. In that instant when I addressed myself in the third person “You are beautiful” I had rejected my existence.

At this point of recognition, it was as if scales had fallen from my eyes and my body, heart, soul and spirit had finally been liberated. Therefore, once again I would like to reiterate:

Today, I looked in the mirror, finally finding the courage to face my soul. I shouted to the hilltops that I AM BEAUTIFUL, I AM BEAUTIFUL, I….AM……BEAUTIFUL

“Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave
I am the dream and the hope of the slaves
I rise, I rise, I rise”

Dr Maya Angelou

Learning the Importance of Spreading Love

2008-02-14T12:22:00.000-08:00

Dear All

Just wanting to wish you all a wonderful Valentine’s Day. But then again, the spirit of this day should be celebrated, I feel as often as is possible.

I guess, for me the reason I state this is because we never know what is around the corner. Some of us may never see another Valentine’s Day, so does that mean therefore that we cannot show our love in the special way it was meant to be celebrated and appreciated at any time?

It is a wonderful gesture where one day is specifically set aside to embrace and acknowledge a theme. We have Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and a plethora of other days, celebrating and giving credence to something which in theory is great. Yet in practice this can actually limit us in our thinking that this is the only day we can express and celebrate.

The majority of these celebratory days are usually to do with love and appreciation. Yet the key to love and appreciation is that we employ the expression of these attributes on a daily basis, more so starting with ourselves first. I try to instill this belief into everything I do, and with those people close to me. I tell my children everyday that I love them and that they are good boys. I endear them to kiss me before they leave the house in the morning and they do this unconditionally.

I tell my partner regularly that I love him, because to me it is important. I tell my good friend, who I often refer to as my “big brother” that I appreciate him and love him dearly. I don’t want to wait until something happens and these people are no longer around for me to think “if only.” I tell my other best friend often how I appreciate and love her as a sister.

I often find it amazing that when someone passes away, people come together, a social gathering to talk openly about the qualities, attributes etc of the deceased. We commemorate them, yet, I am sure for many they would be unaware of how many people really felt about them and how appreciated and loved they really were.

There is a saying that “the grave is full of rich people” in terms of people’s dreams, hopes and aspirations which have gone unfulfilled. Yet for me there also stems another saying “the grave is also full of sad, lonely and haunted souls who never felt or even knew they were appreciated or loved.”

In a world which is becoming more socially and environmentally conscious. In a world where man’s consciousness about humanitarian needs are striking a chord in many. In a world where many people are trying to do their part to give back, let us start with ourselves first. Let us learn to love who we are first and foremost and appreciate who we are as unique individuals and then let us share that love, let it spill out from within us to those around us and watch how your life and the lives of others around you will change.

Much love and respect to one and all always

Quotes about Self Love

2008-01-24T15:33:00.000-08:00

“You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy.”

“I don't like myself, I'm crazy about myself”
Mae West quotes (American Actress and sex symbol, 1892-1980)

“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely”
Carl Gustav Jung quotes (Swiss psychiatrist, Psychologist and Founder of the Analytic Psychology, 1875-1961)

“If you aren't good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you'll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren't even giving to yourself.”
Barbara De Angelis quotes (American researcher on relationships and personal growth)

The Potential of Falling in Love with Yourself

2008-01-24T14:51:00.000-08:00

“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely”
Carl Gustav Jung quotes

I will shortly be running a series of workshops throughout February 2008 on sensuality and empowerment. The above topic is one which is part of the series. Details of workshops can be found below. Yet you may well ask why a workshop on this subject? Tina Turner used to sing “What’s love got to do with it?” and this is so true for many of us today. We no longer love who we are and what we are about, in fact many of us no longer know who we are, so the potential of falling in love with ourselves can seem very remote.

How many of us can really say with conviction and certainly that we love ourselves unconditionally? And yes, this is a difficult question, much easier said than done. This is because there are so many things that influence how we feel about ourselves, how we view ourselves, our bodies. This therefore has an influencing effect on how our minds operate, our behaviour and as a result what we actually understand about “loving ourselves”.

“You can explore the universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and you will not find that person anywhere.” Author Unknown

Firstly, we live in a society which never really encourages or acknowledges self love. This is because the love of self often gets mixed up with arrogance and vanity. Yet to really learn to fall in love with who we are, with our very essence, with the shape of our bodies, the colour of our skin, our very make-up is often dissected into the minefield of what is portrayed to us on a daily basis. Through various mediums, from the tv, newspapers, magazines, billboards etc. Subliminal messages surface all around us on a continuous basis until we become puppets of a power more greater than we are aware of. Therefore, after a while our perception of self changes. We do not reflect back what we are being bombarded by. Our images do not mirror what is on our screens. This then often draws us to the false conclusion that we are “outsiders”, freaks, something wrong with us. Then the self loathing and chipping away at our uniqueness and inner beauty begins to happen, perpetuated by other things such as other people’s reactions to us and their limited beliefs. For others, the loathing of the self comes from very painful and negative experiences.

“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance”
Oscar Wilde

Self love is learning to love who we are no matter what the fashion statement of the moment, no matter whether size zero is in or not, regardless of which celebrity is wearing what or eating what. It is about you completely and utterly looking yourself in the eye and acknowledging your beauty, your uniqueness and what you truly are and also who you represent. Yet, in the quote above, by Oscar Wilde, this is a life long romance. Learning to love yourself is a journey of growth, enlightenment and awareness.

Therefore, the potential to fall in love with yourself, once you come into the light of awareness is a wonderful place to be. No longer will you feel inhibited by the controls and dictates of what the masses are doing or how they are dressing. No longer will you allow outside influences to persuade or sway how you feel about yourself. You will learn and can learn to be in control and you can once again access the potential to fall in love with yourself, time and time and time again.

IF YOU THINK YOU CAN, YOU CAN

2007-12-31T15:24:00.000-08:00

If you Think You Can, You Can!
You can be a total winner even if you're a beginner,
If you think you can, you can,
If you think you can, you can,
You can wear the gold medallion,
You can ride your own black stallion,
If you think you can, you can,
If you think you can, you can,
It's not your talent or the gift at birth,
It's not your bank book that determines worth,
And it isn't in the color of your skin,
It's your attitude that lets you win,
You can upset Connors or Austin,
Or win the marathon at Boston,
If you think you can, you can,
If you think you can, you can,
You can profit through inflation,
You can redirect this nation,
If you think you can, you can,
If you think you can, you can,
It doesn't matter if you've won before,
It makes no difference what's the half time score,
It's never over until the final gun,
So keep on trying and you'll find you've won,
You grab your dream and then believe it,
Go out and work and you'll achieve it,
If you think you can, you can,
If you think you can, you can!

~ Denis Waitley ~

YOU CAN IF YOU THINK YOU CAN

2007-12-31T15:20:00.000-08:00

If you think you are beaten, you are,
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you like to win, but you think you can't,
It is almost certain you won't.
If you think you'll lose, you're lost,
For out in the world we find,
Success begins with a fellow's will.
It's all in the state of mind.
If you think you are outclassed, you are,
You've got to think high to rise,
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.
Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man.
But soon or late the man who wins,
Is the man who thinks he can.

~ C. W. Longenecker ~

Don't Make Resolutions go for Transformation

2007-12-31T15:19:00.000-08:00

As the New Year draws to an end, I have been in a place of reflection and have been reflected upon as well. So many things have happened in a year that has sped by faster than I can dare to remember. The older I get, the more life seems to become a swirling mass of time, a cyclonic movement, a myriad of experiences towards something more tangible and greater than. For me life has been an exciting, interesting and insightful journey taking me to places where previously only my dreams existed. 2008 kicked in for me two weeks ago on that roller coaster of a ride which many people leave until 1st January has and is already taking me into a phenomenon place. The progression of another great journey towards an even bigger destination.

An online dictionary described the word journey as thus:

· “journey a traveling from one place to another, usually taking a rather long time; trip: a six-day journey across the desert.
· a distance, course, or area travelled or suitable for travelling: a desert journey”

So there we have it again, that word “journey” which is being and has being used and over-used time and time again. Yet its significance in terms of summing up life seems quite apt because on any journey, there will be ups and downs, experiences which we sometimes wish had never occurred and others which will be pleasantly steeped in our memories forever.

So I am wishing you all a truly wonderful and prosperous New Year where all your dreams can come true. So many people will be making New Year’ s resolutions. Many will follow through, yet most, will falter by the end of the month, regressing back into old ways, thoughts and behaviour patterns. The word “resolution” too is often over used and I think misunderstood or even mis-interpreted. Actually, I think the word “resolution” is a word which has become cheapened, loosing its true meaning, and just being a word to use at a certain time of year because it has come to be expected that in January one must make a resolution.
Dictionary.com’s definitions of the word are:

1. to come to a definite or earnest decision about; determine (to do something): I have resolved that I shall live to the full.
2. to separate into constituent or elementary parts; break up; cause or disintegrate (usually fol. by into).
3. to convert or transform by any process (often used reflexively)”.

Making a resolution sounds almost as if one is being forced or coerced to do something, so final that it looses its sense of purpose. When we decide to make changes in our lives, it has to be about transformation, even evolution. It is about taking a dream, a situation, a thought an idea and wanting to do something different or even bigger with it. It is about wanting to take that situation from the place it is now to eventually a better place. It is about looking at the bigger picture, the end result and realising that whatever it is you want to achieve, or whatever place it is that you need to get to, it is going to take determination, belief, action and maybe even sacrifice and it should be about reaching that rainbow at the end of the tunnel. Transformation is not just about the here and now, a short transitionary period where results are brief and dreams fade away back into the past of the last year. Think about a caterpillar and how that transforms into a beautiful butterfly and how that process can never go back to its original form. Think about your dreams, your New Year’s “Resolutions” from that point of view and if you can visualise that beautiful vision, then you are well on your way to making something incredibly wonderful in whatever you choose to transform.

Wishing you a truly wonderful New Year

What does this Season mean for you?

2007-12-20T17:04:00.001-08:00

Well One and All

Once again we have come to the end of another year. Many are looking forward to the festive break so they can spend quality time with family and friends. Yet what has become obvious to me over the past month, and what has probably been obvious to many for a long time now, is that the reason for this season, has simply disappeared in maelstrom of frivolity and commercialism.

Maybe it’s just that as I get older, I am seeing life from a more rounded perspective. I now think things through more, wondering and pondering at the effectiveness, the usefulness, the message behind the scenes, the tale behind the story. Maybe too, as I journey along life’s wonderful yet sometimes challenging pathway, experience and life have taught me to be cautious, to ask more questions, to delve further than what is presented on the surface.

Hence, I found myself two years ago standing back and looking at all that goes on around and before the so called Big day, trying to get a feel for what it is all really about. Certainly the birth of Christ has been lost amidst all the hype and build up.

I frequent the gym regularly and what I’ve noticed since September was the constant bombardment of spend, spend, spend, eat, eat, eat that flickered its way on the tv screens. Everything was about, excess and overindulgence. I guess it was when I saw the advert for KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) advertising their food in a festive manner, as if receiving KFC was some sort of welcomed gift that I realised that things were a little askew? There was nothing in the adverts which promoted the significance of this season or even if one is not religious, then the significance of spending time with those whom we love and cherish. There was nothing which determined what it was exactly that everyone was so fired up and stressed about. There was nothing to justify the huge amounts of money that would be spent on presents, food other than to spend, spend, spend. As always, the same old reports in the press about people getting into debt makes this whole charade even more worrying.

For me, Christmas is a time to relax with people who you trust and love. It is a time to laugh, eat good food, to find yourself again, to relax and just vegetate in front of the television, to enjoy being with people you care about. This is a time when everyone can relax without the hustle and bustle of daily life and just be. In reality I know for many, this is not the case as often times, this period can be fraught with conflict as families who do not meet often, converge onto one place and for others, there is no family or time to share with.

Yet, because this is such an individual time for us all, let us just remember one thing, whatever we believe and wherever we are. Firstly, no man is an island, and as we fill our stomachs and enjoy time with each other, just from this alone, we are truly in a good place and we should spare a thought for those less fortunate than ourselves. There are many who have passed, many who are suffering and many who do not have the privilege of being in a caring environment. So I guess the greatest gift for me is that I will be sharing this season with my two sons and my sister and my best friend. People who really mean the most to me in my inner circle.

Whatever you get out of December 25th, make it a good one and if you can find some way to give it a sense of meaning, to give back, then do so, because life is about memories, experiences, sharing and giving and we cannot ask for more than that as treasured gifts.

The Benefits of Laughter

2007-11-06T16:36:00.000-08:00

“Laughter attracts joy, releases negativity and leads to miraculous cures”
Quote taken from The Secret

I have been reading The Secret. If anyone is really interesting in things like The Law of Attraction which is about attracting into your life whatever it is you want, then this is the book/dvd to get, as well as delving into the Bible where many of the principles from the Secret originate.

I so believe in the above statement. Laughter is truly a healer and a therapeutic ally at the best of times. Yet so many of us cannot even find it within ourselves to smile never mind laugh anymore. We have allowed ourselves to become caught up in the whirlpool of life. Always striving mentally and physically towards the next moment, never quite allowing ourselves to enjoy the present, the here and now. Many are not allowing ourselves the pleasure of just being, and taking time out from the slog of life to enjoy, even to do silly childish things.

I now teach Personal Development workshops to adults and as part of my sessions, I always incorporate a fun event which is usually an activity which we used to play as children. A favourite is the egg and spoon race. On these occasions my groups always have an enormous amount of fun. One piece of feedback that I always receive is that many people hadn’t done such activities since primary school and how much fun it was. It is always so good to see grown up women laughing and falling about themselves in hysterics as they drop the egg or go off balance. Yet life is about being, about exploring about stepping outside of the status quo and that rigid little box that keeps many of us hemmed in. Life is about being free to express ourselves in laughter and song. So below are some of the benefits of laughter which I have found.

1. When you make fun of yourself, you dis-empower those who would make fun of you and disarm possible confrontations.

2. Laughter dissolves tension, stress, anxiety, irritation, anger, grief, and depression. Like crying, laughter lowers inhibitions, allowing the release of pent-up emotions. After a hearty bout of laughter, you will experience a sense of well-being. Simply put, he who laughs, lasts. After all, if you can laugh at it, you can live with it. Remember, a person without a sense of humour is like a car without shock absorbers.

3. Medical researches have found that laughter boosts the immune system. The study of how behaviour and the brain affect the immune system is called psychoneuroimmunology. Though still in its infancy, this science is rapidly gaining much attention as mankind strives to understand the mind-body relationship.

4. Laughter reduces pain by releasing endorphins that are more potent than equivalent amounts of morphine.

5. Humor helps integrate both hemispheres of our brain, for the left hemisphere is used to decipher the verbal content of a joke while the right hemisphere interprets whether it is funny or not.

6. Laughter adds spice to life; it is to life what salt is to a hard-boiled egg.

7. Develop your sense of humour and you will find you are more productive, a better communicator, and a superior team player.

8. Everyone loves someone who can make them laugh. The more you share your sense of humour, the more friends you will have.

9. Humour brings the balance we need to get through the turbulence of life comfortably.

10. Laughter is even equivalent to a small amount of exercise. It massages all the organs of the body, according to Dr. James Walsh.

11. A sense of humour can help you accept the inevitable, rise to any challenge, handle the unexpected with ease, and come out of any difficulty smiling.

“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
George Carlin

“When you become senile, you won't know it.”
Bill Cosby

"Did you ever see the customers in health-food stores? They are pale, skinny people who look half dead. In a steak house, you see robust, ruddy people. They're dying, of course, but they look terrific.”
Bill Cosby

Growth

2007-11-06T16:14:00.000-08:00

Dear All

I have been immersing myself in many books this past year, all to do with personal development, psychology and philosophy. This is my forte, and where the basis of all my interests lie. I am always eager to learn and understand how people work, how the universe works, how we can achieve and enjoy life to its fullest and how to help individuals reach their full potential.

For me, my life’s experiences coupled with the knowledge gained from books read and conversations had, are all helping me in the great discovery of life. This not only helps me in the understanding of knowing and understanding myself intimately but also being able to understand the workings of the human race and ultimately how to help and reach out to others.

I do not presume to be a mind reader, nor am I a qualified Psychologist, yet I find that the more I work on myself and begin to understand myself, the more I open up myself to the many possibilities the universe and God has to offer. The more I connect with this one true source and with who I am, is the more I am beginning to understand this world on a much greater basis.

I have grown so much over the past year. My journey has been an incredible one and now I am on such a spiritual level that when I am being led or guided, 95% of the time I am right with any decisions I make.

I have been going through some incredible spiritual changes, changes that have actually left me operating on another dimension, leaving me with a sharper sense of knowing, a clearer sense of who I am, of people and circumstances around me. I am now operating at a level where I am reading people, being able to see and know what is going on inside of them, knowing when things are going to happen, and knowing what to do.

Of the extraordinary experiences I have had was one where I picked up what someone else was thinking and even to the point of visualising an individual they were thinking about, describing that person in detail. I say no more on that part other than, so many of us are operating on a fraction of the possibilities that we could be more. So many of us will never be able to fathom how powerful we really are as human beings and the source of energy and abundance that God has provided us which is seated within us.

We are incredible human beings – every single one of us. Yet what I realise and always advocate is that there will be some of us who want to build empires and know what must be done to achieve this. There will be others, who are quite comfortable just reaching for the stars, not quite wanting to get there, but just wanting to dream it. Then there are those who are happy and content being where they are and this is all ok. Whatever you want in life, is yours for the taking. Whatever status you wish to hold, whatever path you want to take, however high you want to climb that mountain – you hold the keys to your destiny. Your destiny may be to be a listener, a carer, a role model, a wonderful friend to the homeless. Your destiny may be to start a campaign making people stand up and take note of something important and life threatening. Your destiny may be that of being another Dr Martin Luther King. Whatever it is, that is your piece of treasure to hold onto and cherish and work towards and remember – it doesn’t matter what status you have or how many certificates or letters you have after your name – being someone is not about materialistic status, being someone is being who you are and loving what you do and operating on a level of honesty, integrity, respect and love.

Yet, what I have realised on this journey is that being in a deeply spiritual place where one is in alignment with God, where one is in alignment with oneself on an intimate and knowing level, is a very very powerful place to be. I sense this power within me and believe me, I will have to use it wisely.

Through meditation which I do everyday now – I am able to shut myself off from the outside world and just be, in the silence or in the midst of meditative music, just be. I am therefore afforded the luxury of enjoying a calmness and peace that settles over me as I just be, releasing myself momentarily from the treadmill of life. This time also gives me the space to reflect, to delve inside myself to find answers and the ramblings of my mind – getting rid of any anxieties or negative tendencies.

On that note therefore, I would like to leave you with these wonderful quotes:

“Faith has to do with things that are not seen, and hope with things that are not in hand.”
- Saint Thomas Aquinas

“For now we see through a glass, darkly, but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.”
- I Corinthians 13: 12-13

“Every man has in himself a continent of undiscovered character. Happy is he who acts the Columbus to his own soul.”
- Sir J. Stephen

I am the fire which rises at dawn

2007-10-27T14:57:00.000-07:00

I am the fire which rises at dawn
and greets the world with an encompassing heart
spreading the flames of love and hope
and breathing them out into the universe

I am the flame through the fire that leaps
delighting in life and sharing God’s joy
I am the source from which the fire burns
they call me Nubian, they call me Passion
they call me
Warrior Princess

I am the fire which rises at dawn
which maketh her mark in this world

Poem taken from Reflextions: Soul Stirrings
By Esther Austin, Published October 2007

For further details log onto www.emotionsintransit.co.uk OR
www.authorhouse.co.uk

Hold Fast To Dreams

2007-10-27T14:24:00.000-07:00

Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.

American Writer, Poet and Essayist
- Langston Hughes - 1902-1967

I believe in dreams. I believe in my dreams so much so that they are now beginning to manifest into tangibles. I believe in my dreams so much so that I am living them and experiencing them on a daily basis and as I continue to strive towards achieving my vision for my life and that of my children, as I strive to give back to others and empower others, I continue to dream and live that dream.

After my sister's death last year November 2006 from breast cancer, and after having to attend several funerals this year - I am even more determined than ever to live life to the full and to achieve whatever I must and can.

For me, the beauty of this journey is not the pursuit of materialistic gain (even though my first car will be an Audi TT) but more so the beauty lies in the fact that many years ago I had a dream, I believed in that dream, I let the power of momentum carry me forward, propelled by action, dedication and perseverance and now many years later I have created something that will one day become an Empire.

That is why I so love the above poem by Langston Hughes, because it depicts so simply the value, importance and power of being able to dream. To me this is a privilege because dreams are so much bigger than we give credit to and the above poem so clearly shows how empty our lives can be without them.

Our Experiences of Life Can Change for a Variety of Reasons

2007-10-27T14:22:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone

Well here we are at the end of another week and another month and still my journey along this path continues to become more and more amazing.

I had the privilege of visiting St Lucia for the first time at the beginning of last month. I had an absolutely fabulous time, meeting new and wonderfully spiritual people in my short stay on the island. I formed friendships, that I know will continue for a very long time. There was a harmony between everyone I met that made me realise that the bond between mankind and the link of humanity can still be strong and genuine. Friendships were formed and forged so much so that I felt, along with others, a tremendous link of love and closeness and above all trust. This experience really affected me because in a world where most people distrust each other, this was a truly amazing experience.

I have been privileged also, to have met so many truly wonderful and genuine people this year and I believe this will continue to be so as I grow spiritually and my connection with God and myself continues to blossom. I do not have to fear from those who have ulterior agendas or who may wish to do anything against or to me, and why? Because my spirit guides me continually, paving the way for me, enabling me to make choices which are right for me and directing who I need to be in contact with and who I do not need to have in my circle of people.

But back to St Lucia - The island is a fantastic oasis of simple calm and tranquillity. It is a mountainous island of wonderfully beautiful and lush vegetation. I found the island mesmerising and this calmness floated throughout the spirit of the people there who carried the same peaceful influence.

My time out there was specifically to try to get a well deserved break, but also to look for a house which I had visualised and dreamt of for a very long time. Last year a vision came to me pertaining to the house that I would one day buy. This house would be my place of sanctuary, a place where I would be able to get away from it all, as I continue to build my empire and I found two places that 90% resembled the place in my dreams. This therefore means I will have to visit St Lucia again soon, to explore the South side of the island, to find my dream home and I believe wholeheartedly that I will find it. The feeling that this home is out there is so strong and potent in my spirit that I have actually been in the house which overlooks the sea. I have been inside the house, and experienced the house as my very own.

St Lucia certainly has changed me in many ways. I am experiencing things in my life on a higher spiritual level that I had ever imagined. I feel stronger and different and good, yet what powerfully comes to me is that I now know that I am ready for my next step up the ladder to where my destiny calls. I am so ready now to take the world by storm, and this feeling is both powerful and empowering.

Often times in our lives, our experiences shape us, change us and transform us giving us new directions and giving us new insights into life. Experiencing and visiting new places gives us new insights. Meetings new people and sharing in a community of togetherness gives us new insights. My perspective on a lot of things has changed, I have changed and as I continue to grow, as I continue to rise, what always comes strongly to my mind is this poem by Dr Maya Angelou:

“Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave
I am the dream and the hope of the slaves
I rise, I rise, I rise”

Having an Attitude of Gratitude

2007-10-09T02:43:00.000-07:00

Hello my good people

Well, here I am after a rather long pause – life is certainly a journey of sorts. It is keeping me in line with my destiny and the work that must be done to achieve my aims and goals, is certainly keeping me busier than ever.

Many of you know I am in the process of building a business, an empire. I want to be in a place where I can leave a wonderfully positive legacy not only for my children, but for anyone who I can impact and empower. If the world gains a taste for Esther Austin, and all that she represents, and if the world can draw just one ounce of goodness and positively from what she is able to give, then I must continue this journey boldly and brashly and continue to work on myself to acquire knowledge, to acquire the spiritual acumen that will help me evolve into the person that God wants me to be.

There have been days recently, not many, but more than I would care to experience often, when I have felt quite overwhelmed with the road before me. I have therefore, been in a place where I have had to put out the call for help, as what I do begins to grow. Therefore, as a result others have been subtlety sucked into the pathway of my vision and are prepared to help me on this awesome road towards personal achievement.

I am realising something very poignant and significant and that is I am living my dream. I may only be half way up that stairwell, but believe me folks when I say I am living my dream. My spirit is leading me up this stairwell to heaven, as it has been said and it is an incredible journey.

Something that is truly inspiring is this. Many years ago, I had a dream. Yes, we can all quote Dr Martin Luther King’s wonderful “I Have a Dream” – but I too had a dream. I then put that dream into action. It became a thought process, then a concept and now it has turned into something tangible. This tangibility of concept and action and momentum will shortly be realised as a fully fledged business and then, as my spirit forecasts an empire.

I watched a programme on Channel 5 on Monday 9th October 2007 – about people suffering from Neuro Muscular Disease. To say I was inspired, is an understatement. One particular teenager on that programme, was determined without to go to University, despite his condition which required him to have around the clock care and a care assistant. Yet his belief in the freedom, as a human being to make decisions and have choices, his belief in his right to have the same chances as everyone else, was unwavering. Through his tenacity, determination and will to succeed and excel he passed I believe his Sociology Exams with all A’s. This was someone who has lost the use of his limbs, who spent his time in a wheelchair and who had to be supported with even the most basic of needs, such as brushing his teeth and to me, this achievement and even his positive and even stubborn state of mind to me , I found this all admirable.

This whole scenario showed me how privileged and lucky I was as a fully bodied individual to have all my faculties in tact, to be able to have the freedom to make choices, to be in a position where I was the master of my own destiny – made me do a reality check.

So on those days, when I am feeling overwhelmed and tired and even a little moody – I must take a step back and look at what I have to be grateful for. I must take up the mantle of gratitude even more and really give thanks for what I have in my life, right now. I know that once I adopt this frame of mind on a regular basis, I will never be in the place where I feel overwhelmed or hard done by, because by keeping things real, and by realising that everything in its own time, I will realise that I am living wonderfully and perfectly in abundance and that whatever more, is to be given to me on my plate, will materialise at the right moment in time.

If I cared More for Me AND Footprints in the Sand

2007-10-09T02:40:00.000-07:00

If I cared for one brief moment
About myself, more than I do for others
Do you think I would realise the magnificence
Of the unique being, that God has created me to be?

If I cared for one brief moment
For myself
More than I do for the world at large
Where the tears of my existence
Are wept into pool of frustration’s palm
And my heart bleeds for the homeless, the infirmed,
The lost,
Gathering life’s painful treasures to my bosom
As if of value

When in all trueness, I should be leaving these embers
Of pain at the doorstep of God's house, leaning on my faith to sustain me
In order for change and transformation to occur?

If I cared for one brief moment
For myself
More than I do for you, my love
My children, my family
Do you think I would be able to give more
To those closest and dearest to me
In quality and not quantity of time?
Yes, I would because………as it says in Footprints in the Sand......

Esther Austin© All Rights Reserved 9th October 2007

FOOTPRINTS IN THE SAND

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?”

The Lord replied,
“The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you.”

Mary Stevenson
Copyright © 1984 Mary Stevenson, All rights reserved

How do I want to be Loved?

2007-10-02T14:51:00.000-07:00

In order to love well and unconditionally, one must be true to oneself
So that this love can come from the well of
Pure and unadulterated abundance of giving
It has been said that the deeper we love, the more likely we are to be hurt
deeply –
But indeed I would rather love deeply and with an intensity
(Than to never love at all)
That I would feel as if my heart would burst
And where I am filled by something more than just
The sweet gurgle and gushing of love’s drama
and engaging in the flutter of the heart and eyes
Love to me is so much more

And I would rather never love at all
If only I were to be held in the momentary comfort of someone’s arms
Whose only quest is sexual gratification and a couple of
Empty phone calls whenever the mood suits
For me, love and all it’s wonderful accomplices
Such as lust, desire, a spiritual and sexual union
Companionship, friendship, intimacy - soul-mates on a journey
Of togetherness
are all to be revered and treasured and guarded most preciously
that’s what I want for my love

Presently, many of us are not all that we seem to be

2007-10-02T14:36:00.000-07:00

Presently, many of us are not all that we seem to be
Caught up amid life’s copious complexities
We become shrouded like treacherous dark green algae
Which in a clear blue pond which simmers with the
basics of goodness
can often become hidden beneath the algae’s weight
Covering up the simple yet wonderful basics qualities
of life’s wonderful and abundant basket

Presently, therefore, we are certainly not all
That we seem to be
We often front life, like the cover on a book
Skimming the surface of time’s precious moments
Wearers of masks, not in celebration or jest or play
But masquerading as entities, otherwise not
Recognised by those around us
And often, in times of depth of thought,
We too, fail to recognise even our own shadow
Constantly hiding and submerging our true identities
Into the murky depths of that dark, green algae

Yet in order for the awareness of who we are to begin
We must first address the issue of recognition and
The awareness that we are indeed, hiding from our own selves
And the need to stand firm and tall and look into the mirror of our lives
Honestly, bravely, sometimes even fearfully
Can only lead us, further away from the superficial
taking us into the comforting and liberating
Tunnel of truth and light, where we can indulge in the
Knowledge that we need not to hide anymore
And therefore embark on a journey of true self-discovery

For the journey of life
Is an amazing kaleidoscope
Of the good and the bad, achievements and challenges
Yet, along the way, there will be times
When we will be faced with the task
Of looking inward, and sometimes looking outward
Yet the beauty of life’s challenges is that
We can always do something about our circumstances
For privileges that are afforded to us are
That we have the liberty to
Change, to renew and grow

So if you must face that mirror
Face it with a dignity and pride
In the knowing that for you
A positive change will come

Esther Austinã All Rights Reserved 2 October 2007

Some Personal Favourite Quotes about Love

2007-09-02T16:44:00.000-07:00

“Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”

“Love isn't finding a perfect person. It's seeing an imperfect person perfectly.”
Sam Keen quotes

“I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.”
Roy Croft quotes

"Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.”
lizzie15635

“Love is when you shed a tear and still want him, it's when he ignores you and you still love him, it's when he loves another girl but you still smile and say I'm happy for you, when all you really do is cry.”

Face that Mirror

2007-09-02T16:30:00.000-07:00

“If we were more aware of our own shadow
We would never fear to look in the mirror”

Esther Austin

Hmmm – well what can I say everyone. The above quote came to me as I was bustling down the road two weeks ago in the busyness of life, multi-tasking as well as thinking rather strategically. Evidently, the meaning to me was quite clear and once I had put it down on paper, I was a little shocked that such a short quote held such depth.

Thoughtfully, I pondered over the words that had “just” come to me in the throes of my busyness. Certainly, I had to assess and digest them because within those two sentences was a very profound message.

Quite simply, if we focussed on ourselves more, if we were more aware and honest about our own short comings, then we would have nothing to fear.

Confronting who we really are is sometimes very painful. Exposing our short-comings and other things which may be termed as “ugly” about ourselves is a very tentative place to be. Yet what I am realising as I journey along the path to self-actualisation, as I progressively work on myself through meditation, prayer, and just enabling myself to be filled with the positiveness of a source which flows from God, but also which comes from my willingness to explore within myself enabling me to change and to grow is a journey that is filling me with a satisfaction, a peace and contentment and joy which I have never really experienced before. I am finding that being grounded in really knowing “ME” and also enjoying knowing who I really am is something really amazing, because it has also opened up something else inside of me.

I feel very strongly within me, that as I grow made as I allow myself to really tune into God, the universe and allow the goodness of all this to guide me, I am now so much more perceptive and receptive. I find that I now have an understanding of things more clearly, my senses have sharpened, I tend to know things before they happen, I can pick up on the energies and sometimes thoughts of people around me. Often times, I just “know” things about other people without even knowing them.

I have journeyed for quite some time now, and especially over the past month, I know I have changed once again. I am a much stronger person, but not in an aggressive or egotistical manner. I have no need to let ego into my existence, because once a person is aware of who they truly are, then ego has not place in that format and top quietly “know” and “be” is strength in itself. Yet, I also know that this continuous growth, and for me, constantly pushing through boundaries to explore myself and to understand the world around me and to further gain an insight into life, people and generally the psychology of how we as individuals work, is a very interesting yet satisfying pilgrimage.

So, for this week I would like to plug again the book or DVD called “The Secret.” It gives an insight into how each and every one of us can have what we want in life. There is such an abundance of opportunities out there for us all, yet many times we cannot tap into this richness because of the focus of our thoughts and energies. It clearly shows us that everything that has happened in our lives has been attracted by us and our thoughts.

There is a saying “If you do the same thing all of the time, you will get the same results” – so if you are experiencing something in your life time and time again – then it’s time for a reality check.

In a nutshell, we must all strive to go through life with a spirit of unconditional love, with respect for the self because only then can we give back and respect others and taking this into consideration, this relates right back to The Law of Attraction. http://www.mindbodyspiritdirect.co.uk

Daily Buddhist Wisdom

He who for himself or others craves not for sons or power or wealth, who puts not his own success before the success of righteousness, he is virtuous, and righteous and wise.

2007-08-19T16:05:00.001-07:00

No Man is an Island - My Mourning Has Begun

2007-08-19T15:58:00.000-07:00

The path to self-actualisation is indeed an interesting, sometimes challenging and certainly a very reflective one. I have been on this delightful path of further self-discovery and development even more so recently. I have ploughed myself into personal development workshops, meditation. The desire to read and fill myself with the vibes of inspiration, knowledge and self-awareness has been incredibly strong. I have purchased some wonderfully enlightening CD’s and DVD’s which are all helping to feed and nourish me for the betterment of myself and in the process enabling me to empower and give back to others on a unique level. As I grow, I am feeling very different within myself. I have become more spiritually in-tune with who I am and God’s purpose for my life.

Yet, sometimes, when I think I have reached a place where I can “handle” things, that I am in a stronger place emotionally, physically and spiritually, of late, I have found myself whelming up in tears, an indicator that I have not yet fully healed. I refer to the loss of my sister, back in November 2006 to breast cancer. Up until 4 weeks ago, I was handling things quite well, so I thought, until the restless nights crept stealthily in and the memories began to flood into my consciousness again. Had I been in denial all this time and not addressed these emotions, which have been hitting me in an extraordinary powerful and painful way and of which, I have to admit to, I am struggling with?

I have always been perceived as being strong, someone who just gets on and does what I must. Maybe, this is also the perception I have given in times past, a strong independent sister, doing things for herself, when in reality, often times, I have been crying out on the inside for someplace to lean into, other than God’s hands. Some physical place, some warm and comforting human space to gather strength and love from. To be honest, at this moment in time, I am in a very lonely place, but I also feel I need and want to be here, so that I can deal with these very strong emotions of bereavement. Or maybe once again, I am in denial because that place isn’t yet there for me in the physical form?

Over the past 4 weeks, I have found it incredibly difficult to sleep, with many memories from last year, flooding my mind. Many of these memories, I have not shared with anyone, as some of them were very distressing, so maybe I am now in a place where I am working through all my emotions, ridding and detoxing myself from the past, allowing and opening up myself to the process which grieving dictates.

Often times, my pain is so knotted within the pit of my stomach that I can only release a quiet and tearful “Oh Father”, yet through this pain I realise that healing is taking place. Time – no greater healer than time can accompany me on this journey and as I go through this process, I know I will once again emerge at the other end a hopefully wiser, stronger and a changed individual.

My pain can be shared with many who have lost loved ones over the past year or so. Many have said that their pain is still great after 5 years and I would hope that in some way mine can be sated soon. And so, I find that I drive myself to work harder, hardly giving myself the time to focus, to think, to remember because the reality is that I miss my sister dearly. She was and is my best friend, my soul-mate and her presence has left a terribly empty void.

Indeed, I am in a very interesting place. On the one hand, I am growing spiritually, my intuition being honed in a wonderful way, where I can sense things and where often times I just “know” – yet on the other side, my spirit and soul weep. Yet I also realise, that as I feel her spirit leave me, as she had been very close by up until 4 weeks ago, she is providing space for someone new to enter my life. Someone who I will build that bond of friendship and love with and someone who will provide me with that sacred friendship and love on an intimate and personal level. So now I must learn to let her go.

So to conclude, I would say I am in a rather unique place. A place of learning, experiencing and growing and a place of mourning. A place where I can combine both sides of my emotional frontiers and still give thanks to the awareness of the journey I am on and what I am experiencing, because then I can feed this experience back into my life’s work, helping to empower and maybe inspired others.

What you Sow, So Shall Ye Reap

2007-08-16T14:01:00.000-07:00

Dear All

As part of who I am and my journey in the Personal Development field and also in my quest for knowledge and to know how we as human beings operate, I thought the below summed up how many people operate. Operating as much as we can from the font of truth, can only help us to understand ourselves and others and how we can influence those around us.

I have just finished watching a very very powerful DVD, called The Secret. It talks predominantly about the Laws of Attraction and how our thoughts and emotions influence our lives. So whether we think positive or negative thoughts, these are what will manifest themselves in our lives. As Buddha says "we are what we think."

Have you ever noticed or watched someone who used to have low self-esteem, lack of respect for the self, lack of awareness about themselves, how their lives seemed to reflect that? From the job they had to the type of people in their lives? Yet, watch this same person transform as they go on a journey of personal development, as they find themselves and begin to understand themselves and empower themselves. Do you notice how everything around them changes with that new form of empowerment and confidence? This has certainly been part of my journey, many years ago when I was married. I had attracted into my life something that was not at all healthy, yet all the same, I had directed somehow, myself into that situation.

I firmly believe that what we think manifests itself so much in our lives, therefore we must be careful what we think, say and believe. It is not easy to monitor our every thought, but for the most part, we must be aware of the dangers and challenges to our lives that persistent and negative thoughts will have.

So I leave the below with you and I would like to suggest that you purchase or get a copy of "The Secret". Have a girly or lads night in, with a tub of popcorn and get inspired and empowered and become aware. Many people are living life like ostrichs, heads buried in the sand, with eyes open. It's time to release yourselves from this place and begin to enjoy the great abundance that life has waiting for you. You just have to be truthful and honest about who you are and what you are about.

Wishing you all the best always:

Understanding the dynamics of Karma or
“What you sow so shall yea reap”
If you consider yourself a person of honesty and integrity
Yet you lower yourself
To hurt those who have offended or hurt you
Then you too shall sow what you reap
And you are far removed from the table of truth

Yet someone who is self-aware
Whose spirit continually seeks and speaks after truth
Knows and understands within their hearts
That being grounded in honesty and integrity
One only needs to stand in the shadows, silent
watching as life delivers to those
their just deserves.

Esther Austin

Choosing Our Attitude

2007-08-05T16:03:00.000-07:00

Daily Christian Wisdom

Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.

-Henri Nouwen

Taken from Beliefnet.com

Hello Everyone

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning how to dance in the rain.
— Author Unknown

I was browsing through the Beliefnet newsletter and came across the above. I thought this was a wonderful way to remind us how we can make small changes to our lives, our attitudes and it shows how simple this can be done instantly.

For me, as I always say, life is a journey. It has its highs and its lows. Yet there is not one person on earth who will not have a cross to bear at some stage or the other. Yet, the saying that "we choose or attitude" is such a potent one.

What I have come to realise, and I can only speak from personal experience is this. Sometimes the road before us is so mountainous and full of trials and tribulations that it is so easy to baulk and feel overwhelmed and let this reality of the situation overshadow ones life. Yet the way that one chooses to approach that challenging journey can make all the difference, because the reality is that you still have to walk that road regardless to if you smile or do it in anger. If you choose to do what you must with a positive frame of mind (and I must add, this is not always easy, nothing worthwhile is easy), and if you know in your heart what your outcome is, then you will cross that mountain in a much healthier and happier and progressive way (and hopefully with less wrinkles).

So take to heart the following quotes, and take time to choose your attitude more carefully, because this not only impacts on your life but also on your environment.

My grandma was always 'biding her time' until she could get to Heaven. In the meantime, her life was fairly miserable and she treated my mother abusively. I learned a valuable lesson, however: Create as much Heaven on Earth as possible with everyone near and dear.
— Chelle Thompson, Editor of Inspiration Line
Inspirational Quote from Inspiration Line 1/19/04

The world does not have to change.... The only thing that has to change is our attitude.
— Gerald Jampolsky

'You scratch my back and I scratch yours' versus 'love thy neighbour'

2007-08-02T15:36:00.000-07:00

What does Community Spirit suggest to you all? What is unity? What is collaborative working?

To me working as part of a team, as a unit, having trustworthy supportive mechanisms being honest and genuine and having a common purpose and goal is what community spirit mean. It’s also about the importance of working for the betterment of not only the self but others as well.

Unity to me means a coming together of a diverse range of people on the foundation of trust, honesty and respect. Collaborative working to me means working together for a common purpose as one.

My journey over the past 3 months alone, has been an amazing one. As I continue to strive, build, learn and grow; as I continue to work on myself as an individual, to become more aware of who I am and what I am about; as I learn to understand how what I do and say affects not just myself, my family and friends, but also my community I am realising that just by putting out the positive vibes and by dedicating whatever I do to the betterment of others and by striving towards my dreams, that life just keeps giving back to me time and time again.

In everything I do, I aim to support, uplift and encourage others. I realised a long time ago that my purpose was to give unconditionally for this purpose and I have come to accept that as my vocation, my purpose in life. We are all called by God to serve in different ways and my calling has been cemented in knowing my purpose.

Therefore, in my drive towards something bigger than what I can visualise at this moment in time, I am aware of those who have been on the receiving end of whatever I do, who are receiving it in a positive, appreciative yet in a well needed way. Believe me, there are many wounded and lonely people out there in the big world and many are crying out just for someone to give them a smile.

Also by the same token I too have been on the receiving end of countless blessings and support. I am surrounded by a wonderfully tight yet proactive group of supportive individuals, who are helping me as I climb towards my mountaintop. Yet in the essence of all that I do, give and receive, it is this growing band of people who have come into my life to help and support me in some way of which I am so grateful for. Everyday, I give thanks for these people who offer anything from advice and support to the collaborative working on various successful projects. Yet, without giving myself, surely I would not receive back!

So I would like to leave with you that

There are many sayings which embrace this community spirit of being in each other’s corner and backbones such as:

“You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours”

“Unknown
It is amazing how much you can accomplish when it doesn't matter who gets the credit.”

“Unknown
Teamwork: Simply stated, it is less me and more we.”

”Unknown
TEAM = Together Everyone Achieves More”

“Unknown
Teamwork divides the task and doubles the success.”

I dedicate this particular blog piece to first and foremost one of my best friends, my big brother, Mr P – Read more about this gem of a man on http://www.tctk.com/, a massive thank you goes out to this man for standing by me, advising, guiding and supporting me 200%. May our friendship continue to flourish.

This is also dedicated to Errol Sergeant, Justin and Millie Lewis from Lewis Hanson Greetings, Slaine and Douglas from Playvybz Radio (www.playvybz.com), Lubna and Rehan ul-Haq, Ryan (you know who you are), Geraldine Reid, Shirley Hunte, Auntie Sybil Phoenix, Kwamme, and Delroy. A Massive thank you for your help as always

The Destructiveness of Gossip

2007-07-27T03:21:00.000-07:00

Abandoning gossip, he abstains from gossip; he speaks at the right time, speaks what is fact, speaks on what is good, speaks on the Dhamma and the Discipline; at the right time he speaks such words as are worth recording, reasonable, moderate, and beneficial.

-Majjhima-Nikaya
From "365 Buddha: Daily Meditations," edited by Jeff Schmidt. Reprinted by arrangement with Tarcher/Putnam, a division of Penguin Putnam Inc.
I came across this as I was looking through an inspirational website called Beliefnet and was instantly able to relate to the above.

The beginning of July 2007, I went on a course. Three days into the course I wanted to scream and felt very uncomfortable and hemmed in. WHY? Because I found myself in the middle of the “gossip triangle”. I was allowing myself to get caught up in something that felt very very uncomfortable within my spirit. I have never liked gossiping and the more I grow as a person , the more I grow deep within myself and understand myself and life more, the more I grow spiritually, is the more that I become uncomfortable with “Untruths and lies” and other things which do not edify life nor spirit.

A series of events had occurred on the course to cause disgruntlement, which was understandable but by day 3 things got a little heated. There was one particular young woman, who I identified as being power mad, who felt it her duty to try to control the flow of conversation within class conversations, who tried to put over her views onto other people’s opinions and who usually had a lot to say. Yet what caused me to withdraw was the occasion of having her moan and complain and get on the gossip train about a series of things. At this point I withdrew and had to leave the table. Yet this gossiping had a rippling effect on the whole class and by the end of the day many people were suffering from headaches and the mood in the class was very despondent. Yet more potently, this gossip caused divisions within the class.

I am not saying I never gossip, because sometimes we all get sucked into things that we do not want to and I too must constantly be aware of my part in any scenario. Yet, I try to be aware of when this is happening and I try instantly to withdraw myself from any situation which could prove to be unhealthy and unsavoury.

The above situation just shows how important it is, therefore, to be aware of our beliefs and values, which all incorporate what we stand for as individuals. We need to know intimately what they are and their importance to how they impact on our lives and then the lives of others.

Beliefs, as we know, are assumed truths, things we have been told from our childhood, either by our parents, our peers, our teachers etc. Yet sometimes, these beliefs have and can become warped and unless we get to know who we are, unless we have been on a personal development journey in the quest and search to know who we are, any warped beliefs will follow us throughout our lives like a shadow, because we will not be in a place to understand nor identify then as lies.

Our values are things which are the foundation upon which our lives are built, they ground us, it’s about knowing who we are. They are things like honesty, integrity and truth. Without being aware of what we are in our beliefs and values, then we are liable to get sucked into destructive and negative forces.

The tongue is a very destructive instrument if used in the wrong context. We must be so careful what we get caught up in and what we say. For everything that life is about, it is about awareness. Awareness of self, brings one into a new dimension, it helps us to identify things which we may otherwise be blinded to. Life is a continual experience of learning and progression and awareness, so let us all try to be more aware of how our behaviour impacts not only on our lives, but on our environments as well.

The below are excerpts I have taken from the following website http://www.lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,49-1-690-7,00.html which talk further about the destructiveness of the tongue.

“The Prophet Joseph Smith deepened our understanding of the power of speech when he taught, "It is by words . . . [that] every being works when he works by faith. God said, 'Let there be light: and there was light.' Joshua spake, and the great lights which God had created stood still. Elijah commanded, and the heavens were stayed for the space of three years and six months, so that it did not rain. . . . All this was done by faith. . . . Faith, then, works by words; and with [words] its mightiest works have been, and will be, performed."1 Like all gifts "which cometh from above," words are "sacred, and must be spoken with care, and by constraint of the Spirit."2
It is with this realization of the power and sanctity of words that I wish to caution us, if caution is needed, regarding how we speak to each other and how we speak of ourselves.

There is a line from the Apocrypha which puts the seriousness of this issue better than I can. It reads, "The stroke of the whip maketh marks in the flesh: but the stroke of the tongue breaketh the bones."3 With that stinging image in mind, I was particularly impressed to read in the book of James that there was a way I could be "a perfect man."

There is a saying that goes something like this –“ Be careful what you ask for, for because you might just get it.”

The Twilight Zone

2007-07-02T12:06:00.000-07:00

The twilight zone
A place between, betwixt, beyond
The here and now,
The forever after
Of times past, of the yesterdays
Trapped or enticed into another dimension?
For better, for worse?

The twilight zone
It could be wherever your heart is
And wherever your spirit dwells

Until you find your peace

Give Unconditionally and you will effect a change in Your life and in Others

2007-07-02T07:41:00.000-07:00

Hello Once Again

Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver.
-- Maya Angelou

Another month is upon us and we are also half way through the year. Many of those goals we set in January must now seem a long and distant memory and are now sitting in Santa’s Bag of dreams, waiting for 2008 to happen upon us. However, I still believe that no matter what goals we have set if we have achieved some of them – great. If not, we still have time to change or pursue them. I have come to realise that life is a constantly evolving and revolving element and that whether we achieve within certain time frames or not, the beauty is that there is always the possibility to still go change, it’s just about extending that deadline. So if you have not fulfilled any of your New Year’s resolutions as yet, you still have time to go for it.

The past few weeks have seen tremendous steps forward in my life and as I progress towards my own personal goals and achievements, the beauty for me here is that in my quest forward, I am meeting a wonderful wealth of people from all walks of life and I am learning so much in the process.

Along this journey a few things have become quite obvious. One – that there are many people who are living very isolated existences, their lives have become a treadmill which is constantly going around in circles – life never quite allowing these individuals to reach any sort of plateau. Their lives have become a treadmill of early to rise and late to bed, nothing achieved on a personal level because time has been taken up with just trying to survive. J.O.B – just over broker. This lonely existence is leading many to feeling not only isolated as individuals, but isolated from their communities, their families and from humanity. This separation of self from the social causes numerous problems, from feeling depressed, low self-esteem, feeling futile etc to becoming so introverted and contained within the dark dimensions of their existence that even to do the simplest of demands is in itself heartache.

I often go on about getting involved in charity or voluntary work and the importance of giving whether of self, money, time, energy, information etc. Just in my new role as a coach and sometimes a mentor, I am beginning to realise that there are a wealth of individuals in society who are in this isolated state and lack of communication and social interaction is very common place.

For me, I have come to realise the importance of giving even on a molecular basis. A simple act of kindness can have positive resounding effects to simply make someone feel that they are important. Therefore, to give someone a smile, to offer a few words of comfort, to give someone a phone call just to say “hi” may seem small to the giver, but to the receiver, who may not have interacted or conversed with anyone throughout the transition of their day, means so much.

Yet also remember that when you give you must give unconditionally and not just for show because not only will you bless or touch the life of the one you are giving to, but you will also in some way enhance your own life and receive that feeling of satisfaction and contentment that money nor materialistic gain or objects can never attain.

As human beings, we all want to be loved and cherished. We need to feel needed and important and to experience the joy of giving, you must give and unconditionally. So I urge you today to take a look around you and rather than throw judgement/condemn or find fault take the time to really assess those around you. Often times, we wear masks that hide our pain and our inadequacies. Yet I always say look in someone’s eyes the “Windows to the Soul” and you can usually see where a person is at.

Alternatively, join a charitable organisation or voluntary group as the need out there for volunteers is great. I will be trekking the Inca Trail in Peru in May 2008, to raise funds for The Breast Cancer Haven (dedicating this event to my late sister) and to me that will be the most emotionally, physically and spiritually challenging yet rewarding experience of doing something to help make a change.

What will you do today to effect a change in your world?

In helping others, we shall help ourselves, for whatever good we give out completes the circle and comes back to us.
-- Flora Edwards

It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.
-- Mother Teresa

The Power of Self Love

2007-06-17T17:16:00.000-07:00

Greetings All

The Power of Love
Celine Dion
All I Want To Do Is Make Love To You
Heat
Touch Me In the Morning
Diana Ross

Love songs encapsulate what we all at some point in our lives have felt in our hearts. They capture the experiences of us all in some form or another, whether it be the joy of being in love or the pain of a failed relationship.

Love songs are sung from a depth which many of us may never experience. These are songs experienced by the artists themselves who hope that in the sharing of their experiences, they can capture the imagination, hearts and loyalty of their audiences. The beauty here is that we then engage with these artists, there becomes that need to relate, to be part of their world, to share in what they are feeling and in the messages they are sending out. Therefore, in this prized place of being able to relate, we feel we are part of something bigger.

These are people who rule our world not only through their songs and lyrics, but also through the power of their music. The dynamics of love songs are profound in that they are simply in their simplicity, profoundly dynamic. They chart our journey through life, they hone in on our most intimate experiences and maybe fantasises and longings. Yet so many songs are more about the pain of love, of losing someone, of being betrayed. So therefore, does this lead us to the conclusion that often times, this perfect love, this wonderful sensation that makes our senses go wild causing us to loose touch with the here and now, sending us into the subliminal stratosphere of “lovey dovey land” where all things are just simply wonderful, yet the reality being that this is all surface stuff?

I say surface because often times, we are not true to our partners, friends, relatives because we are not true to ourselves. We experience love on a surface level and cannot have really intimate and wonderfully wholeseome relationships because we do not know who we are on an intimate and even sensual level. Friendships are courted on the periphery of materialistic and surface projections. We smile with each other and communicate with each other, yet on the other side, we hold back, not fully trusting ourselves to explore, to be truly open, to be who we really are thereby denying what we could truly have and receive. We are not being representative of truth.

Taking this all a step further, I now ask you, what is love aside from the dynamics of being in a relationship with all its complexities and varying levels of being in love, falling out of love and just being loved? And to add fire to the debate, are we really taking about love? Or is this juxtaposition of the flutter of heart with sweet talk really just light banter because the word “love” is really just a dressed up noun for sexual and frivolous alliance, which hold no profoundness or depth, and where it has become so trivialised that we actually no longer know or understand its true meaning and worth? And therefore, is this not down to something more significant?

What do I mean by this?

Aside from the relationship type of love, how many of us actually know how to love ourselves in the first instance? We all want to be loved, we all love sharing and caring and being cared and nurtured for. Love is an all encompassing wonderful thing to have and feel. Yet often times, we serve others with this treasured gift, we continue to give and offload this wonderful wealth of something that is truly all encompassing and God given yet how often do we feel neglected, empty and void within our own spirits? This then leads to many of us wearing masks, acting out life on a surface arena. In neglecting ourselves, by not loving ourselves we become shadows of who we really are and this manifests itself in how we then perceive the outside world, and our expectations from life are lowered or even diminished. Our dreams become a fleeting and fading phenomena and we live life as one without purpose and vision.

It’s time for us to truly realise and believe that we all need to love ourselves completely and unconditionally. It is only then that we can truly effect the world with what will then exude from us a wonderfully positive feeling of satisfaction and wholeness that loving ourselves brings.

I am not talking about vanity or the pampering of our egos but the nurturing of our very own selves, our souls and our spirits. Learning to love oneself then gives us a wonderful empowerment that centres us and stabilises us at our very core, enhancing who we are as unique individuals. We then become incredible human beings with wonderful potential not only to excel and achieve on a materialistic and successful level but more importantly on a spiritual and intimate level. We then can enjoy and appreciate life in a totally new and fulfilling realm.

Only then will we be able to make our mark on the world. No journey is and without its challenges. Yet the journey to self-love and appreciation is one that I would encourage many of you to find and follow.

I would also suggest, and I am sure many of you may not welcome this, but for one moment, step outside of your belief, your religion and yourself and look at WHO you really are. Take a good long look in that mirror and face what is reflected back at you. Yes God loves us and many of us live for him and the purpose he has put for us in our lives. Yet, sometimes, we use religion and our belief as cloaks to hide behind, as excuses. We sit in church week in week out, listening to the word, being empowered by the word, yet one we step outside into the “world” we let the arms of fear inhibit us immobilising us, causing us to live a life of complacency and mediocrity and all those negatives such as self-doubt, intolerance, negative talk, negative self-talk come running back to sit on our shoulders like sentries. So for once in your life, if you feel the desire to, try to strip away that mask and look deep into your soul to discover who you really are and what you really want out of life. Do a detox to not only cleanse yourself but also to find out the beautiful person you could be and then start your journey towards being that person and enjoy a totally new lease of life whilst also enjoying and experiencing relationships on a new plateau.

“Learning To Love Yourself

Most of you have probably heard Whitney Houston sing the words "learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all," and so it is. I believe it is what all of us need, yet it's what so few of us truly have. How is it that we don’t love ourselves--and how do we learn to love ourselves? “

Further reading on this can be found on http://www.4therapy.com/consumer/life_topics/article/6713/489/Learning+To+Love+Yourself

For information on spiritual retreats/courses/events – take a look at:
The Brahma Kumaris World Spiritual University
http://www.globalretreatcentre.org.uk

Respect and Honour - For Each Other and Community against Community

2007-06-11T01:40:00.000-07:00

Dear All

The below quotes follow on from my previous article. Whatever culture, whatever the people, repsect and honour are two of the foundations to buidling up our cultures and preserving integrity.

"You cannot believe in honor until you have achieved it. Better keep yourself clean and bright: you are the window through which you must see the world."
Sir Walter Besant

"Never give in! Never give in! Never, never, never. Never -- in anything great or small, large or petty -- never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense." Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill

"There is no calamity which a great nation can invite which equals that which follows a supine submission to wrong and injustice and the consequent loss of national self-respect and honor, beneath which are shielded and defended a people's safety and greatness."
Grover Cleveland

The Big Brother Issue - As a Community we Need to Make a Stand

2007-06-11T01:25:00.000-07:00

Greetings and Solicitations Everyone

“A contestant from the Big Brother house was evicted today for using a racist epithet, in the latest scandal to hit the Channel 4 reality show. Emily and Charley were dancing together in the living room when Emily used the word in an apparently light-hearted manner. Rather than react angrily, Charley responded by pointing out that her actions were likely to get her in trouble.
Emily was called into the diary room at 3.30am this morning and told to leave the reality show immediately.” Excerpt taken from http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/tv_and_radio/article1898239.ece

Thoughts to ponder. The above incident certainly caused much debate generally. Chat shows and phone-ins were inundated with incensed callers, a plethora of blogs and other online forums too vented furious debate, the papers of course had their field day - debate, debate, debate. Once again this incident brought back the Shipla Shetty race row which caused uncomfortable and angry ripples worldwide. Yet as I listened, and maybe I have become desensitised, I refused to get angry at Emily or other ignorant individuals who use the word liberally I got angry at us. Why? you may well ask, simple fact. We have allowed ourselves once again to become the puppets at the hands of anyone who has a string to pull and I was struck by how many people felt the same as I and that is to some extent, we as a black community had to take some responsibility for the Big Brother contestant feeling it was ok, to mention the “n” word in what is described above in a “light-hearted” manner. For me, this word should not even be in out vocabulary because of what it represents.

How many times do we hear rap artists blazing their perceived glory of nonsense into our children’s lives and minds using the “n” word? Standing like glorified buffoons in hypothetical salutation of pride (their Oscar of Ignorance) gold dripping from every crevice of their muscle bound bodies, ranting and raving using the “n” word and disrespecting women? Hardly able to smile through a mouth of gold encrusted teeth, they face the world with fierce expressions, the new studious and educated look of knowledge!! Little do they realise that within the body and context of their so called “songs” using only two or three syllables does not make for good music nor any form of intelligence.

These artists, though powerful and maybe even classed as successful, money burning the lining in their pockets, girls on every arm, offering a false sense of purpose and vision to our misguided youth are partly to blame. They laud over our tv screens, controlled and dictated to by the powers that be, rapping using derogatory messages which rolls easily off their tongues, yet causing an uneasiness amongst the more educated and knowledgeable within our community. As if we do not have enough battles of our own by trying to keep our youth on the straight and narrow by offering them more positive viewpoints on life, and trying to educate them about our history and identify role models which they can look up to? If you are keen to notice, these artists never actually refer to themselves as “N…”s but they slyly use it as a term of endearment when talking about and addressing their “bruvas” as if this represents solidarity or a cohesive union of brotherhood.

How often do we hear this word used liberally on the streets by our own black boys (and sometimes by others outside our culture) and more distressing adults. It seems that 2005/6 were the years when the “n” word became “hip, ” and using it somehow elevated individuals into a kind of superior social status. It was often disturbing to see this sort of behaviour with brothers greetings each other with a “whatz up N….” and laughing like monkeys who had been thrown nuts full of dynamite, but not yet fully realising that there was a possibility that this nut would explode in their hands sooner or later. I even noticed my sons used it a few times when greeting their friends, caught up in the delusional sphere of youth culture and “following the crowd” but you know I had to put a stop to that, with some very serious lectures and some strong verbal breakdowns of what the word meant, its connotations and requesting them to go-online and do some research. They got the picture and haven’t gone there since.

So in effect, how can we expect anyone to take us seriously, when we use this word freely amongst ourselves, with liberal frivolity, seemingly ignorant about the true meaning and far-reaching implications of using such a word, which is so derogatory and which stood for so much pain, humiliation. No wonder often times, we are the laughing stock and not taken seriously, because of our own failings. How can we expect other cultures to RESPCECT us when all the above dynamics are in place? I say no more on this score, but leave the below with you, for further ponder and thought.

Regardless to culture, it is about making a stand and not accepting certain things which have serious messages and connotations behind them. When the Shilpa Shetty row broke out, there were fierce demonstrations in her homeland and within the political arena – these people made a stand advocating that this sort of behaviour would not be tolerated and I am sure that many people would be very very careful in the future if they found themselves in this situation because they’d realise there would be consequences.

There have been many comments by individuals online who have stated that “the word was not said in malice and as black people we should get a life and move on” – my point here is this: whether the “N” word is used or any other negative, derogatory words which are used to depict ANY culture which have serious connotations, people should make a stand. There are boundaries in life which are set and there are certain places people just should not go and because we have embraced this pushing of the boundaries, that is why people think it is “light banter and ok” to be using words which should be banned from out vocabularly. Whether they be words against the Asians, Europeans, Africans etc, it is about making a stand and letting other people realise that as a people, as a community there is something called RESPECT and that using certain words are just not on. It is anyone’s right to challenge the mindset of using certain words with frivolity.

For more information

“The history of the word nigger is often traced to the Latin word niger, meaning black. This word became the noun negro (black person) in English, and simply the color black in Spanish and Portuguese. In Early Modern French niger became negre and, later, negress (black woman) was unmistakably a part of lexical history. One can compare to negre the derogatory nigger and earlier English substitutes such as negar, neegar, neger, and niggor that developed into its lexico-semantic true version in English. It is probable that nigger is a phonetic spelling of the white Southern mispronunciation of Negro.

No matter what its origins, by the early 1800s it was firmly established as a degenerative nickname. In the 21st century, it remains a principal symbol of white racism regardless of who is using it. Social scientists refer to words like nigger, kike, spic, and wetback come from three categories: disparaging nicknames (chink, dago, nigger, etc); explicit group devaluations ("Jew him down" or "niggering the land"); and irrelevant ethnic names used as a mild disparagement ("jewbird" for cuckoos having prominent beaks or "Irish confetti" for bricks thrown in a fight).

http://www.aaregistry.com/african_american_history/2420/Nigger_the_word_a_brief_history

I’d therefore like to leave the following with you for further thought, hoping that we do not continue to be the monkey as described below:

TEACHING TALE

“A monkey whilst swinging through the forest one day spied a glass bottle glinting far below. Excited, he made his way down and saw that it contained a huge tasty looking nut. He put his hand through the neck of the bottle and grasped the nut. He pulled and pulled but despite his efforts his hand just would not come out of the bottle. When he tried to run away with the bottle he found it was tied to a tree.

Just then he heard a man approaching through the forest. Despite his increasing fear, the nut captivated him with its promise of rich flavour. He pulled and pulled but to no avail and so the greedy monkey was caught.”

"Let Go and Just Move On" - But is it Really that Easy

2007-06-04T15:38:00.000-07:00

Hello again

Today, I’d like to touch on a phrase which nearly everyone I come into contact with seems to use on a very frequent and liberal basis. This set of words is almost clichéd and I have wondered at its usage, and whether people really think about what it means in its full context Or if we, as a society are so cold and bold that we mean this phrase really is as it stands.

The term I am talking about is called “let go, just move on.”

After talking to someone over the weekend and hearing this particular phrase again, I actually took time to stand back from the conversation reflecting on the many other conversations I have had in the past where this phrase was mentioned.

Many times when we experience something in our lives that falls apart or does not materialise how we expect it to or a separation is involved/someone close dies or a job/ event does not go according to plan, the phrase often applied to the scenario is “learn from it and move on.” Hmmm – in other words my dear folk the scenario that comes to mind is just like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, she just clicked her little red shoes together and hey presto, she was back in Kansas. Yet life does not work like that, we cannot just get rid of an emotion, just like that as if the past never existed nor happened. Life is about processes. For some people it may take a short time to get over an incident/relationship for others, it can take a lot longer and for others still, the process of healing never really takes place.

Now in many contexts, this can be a true statement. Learning from an experience, reflecting, analysing and moving on certainly are the credentials for growth and ultimately change. Yet how often do many of us find the process of change a difficult journey? How many times do some of us struggle to just “let go and move on” as if whatever has happened did not play a major and significant part in our lives for a very long time?

Is it really so easy to just put something behind you/a relationship that has gone sour/an opportunity that did not materialise etc behind you with the click of a finger as if to say “oh well, that was that, what next?” as if time spent with that person or in that situation had somehow never happened?

Moving on is certainly the best thing to do, but in that alone, there is a process and certain dynamics are also at work here as well. As you move on, this should be a time of growth, a time to heal and a time to look forward to the future. Yet sometimes the future throws up things at you and it certainly has a funny way of sometimes, pulling you back towards something, which you thought had been buried. There the three scenarios which I see are:

v Moving on from a situation because there is no turning back and one looks forward to new horizons;

v Moving on and having regrets for doing so;

v Moving on from a situation, allowing the healing process to take place, each individual working on each other, creating a different individual to the one who lived before the experience that eventually changed their life. This then allowed for the re-emergence of both individuals on different levels which allows you both to get back together stronger and on higher level playing field;

Everything in life is about processes, a format, a structure. Life is about evolution, regardless to whether it is about relationships, careers, health. To evolve is about constant growth and change, leaving one place of time leading into another and hopefully arriving at a more healthy, positive place.

So next time you go to tell someone to “just move on and get on with it” think about their situation a little more, maybe empathise with them and see if that phrase is really relevant and helpful. Because when people are in a place where you think they need to “just move on” that is the time when they need all the support they can get and a shoulder to cry on in order for them to “just move on.”

Time for Change - Disrespectful Youth? - Is it time for us adults to turn vigilante?

2007-05-25T05:52:00.000-07:00

Dear All

I really felt the need to share the below with you. It is about an incident on the bus today which left me incensed. All I have to say is this, it's time to change strategy. Out youth need to recognise, they cannot get away with things anymore, but as always, it's how do we tackle this.

“The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all men, charity.”
Benjamin Franklin quotes

I feel I have to share this episode with you purely because I am so incensed by what I have just witnessed. This is not to say that I have not witnessed such disgraceful behaviour before, because it comes in many guises from being verbally abusive, spitting, to physical confrontation, yet all the same disgusting and simply “degrading.”

Today I was heading to an appointment for 1pm. Three stops after getting on the bus, three men got on. One went upstairs the other two stayed downstairs. The driver called after one of the young men, who incidentally, had his mobile phone in his hand with music blaring out, as if anyone really needs to hear his crap. After calling several times, the bus driver then killed the engine. There was a wait period of about 10 minutes until the young man came downstairs, obviously realising that he was in the wrong. He confronted the driver stating “make me get of the bus, then, make me get off the bus.” Obviously in his arrogant and ignorant state, he knew he was in the wrong and as he got off the bus he SPAT at the driver.

Peeps, and I really am not ashamed to say this. If I had a brick at the time, I would not have hesitated to throw it.

Not only was I fuming by now because I had missed my appointment but more so I was fuming because I was incensed at such tactless and disrespectful behaviour. The way I see it is this: yes there are a number of problems facing our youth. Yes, as many say the system is against them. Yes there are facts to prove this. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT – I don’t give a flying rat, regarding where these youth are coming from and what they’ve got against them. I don’t give a monkey’s banana about all the other plausible excuses that we have for them, the fact of the matter is this:

Regardless to where you have come from and who you are or what you have experienced, RESPECT and MANNERS are something which should be innate. People are pushing the boundaries of life everyday. I cannot only just blame the youth because often times, you look on the home front and there are some serious issues going on there. But let’s just level this up. Respect and manners are two key, absolute key components that make up the boundaries in society of which we all bounce off. Without these in place, society deteriorates into the cauldron of bedlum. Someone shouted out to the youth that “he should be in school.” My stance, if I was a bigger and better person, he would’ve found his carcass in a hospital bed.

Let me also make it plain here. I have two boys and I am becoming more and more aware of how difficult it is for our young black men, but the fact of the matter here is they are not making things easier for themselves neither. I am conscious of so many dynamics surrounding having boys and it is absolutely key, that I try my utmost to, and if I must, impose certain restrictions on them so they know there are certain places they cannot go.

Society is falling into the pit of degradation, in fact it is almost there. We need to bring back into our lives, our communities, our families, those BASICS that have kept and held us as a people for so long a time. It is these fundamentals such the below which in their simplicity are the bedrock of society and humanity’s progression into a higher state of being.

v Respect
v Manners
v Discipline
v Courtesy
v Politeness
v Faith

I am tired of the excuses we are giving for the behaviour exhibited by our youth. I am really, really and if I may use the word “pissed off” with such a LACK of consciousness about the above basics.

Yet as always, we go back to the same thing “What is the solution”

If I had my way, every offence committed would mean these individuals would be stripped bare, maybe leaving their underpants on, put in the town centre and made an exhibition and example of. Strip away their arrogance and ignorance with shame. Strip them bare physically, challenge them that this behaviour will not be accepted and there are consequences. Walking the street as if they are vigilantes will no longer be a game, it will require a backlash from parents, conscious adults. The sweet pillow talk thing will be a thing of the past. I think it is time to get radical, because every day I step outside my door, I come home feeling angry and despair.

“Treat others as you want them to treat you because what goes around comes around”

2007-05-19T12:18:00.001-07:00

“If you think you can you can. If you think you can’t you are right” Mark Twain

2007-05-19T06:08:00.000-07:00

Hello Peeps

“Believe nothing just because a so-called wise person said it. Believe nothing just because a belief is generally held. Believe nothing just because it is said in ancient books. Believe nothing just because it is said to be of divine origin. Believe nothing just because someone else believes it. Believe only what you yourself test and judge to be true. [paraphrased]” Buddha

“We are what we think” Buddha

“Believe nothing just because a so-called wise person said it. Believe nothing just because a belief is generally held. Believe nothing just because it is said in ancient books. Believe nothing just because it is said to be of divine origin. Believe nothing just because someone else believes it. Believe only what you yourself test and judge to be true. [paraphrased]” Buddha

“We are what we think” Buddha

“If you think you can you can. If you think you can’t you are right” Mark Twain

For me, the above conjures up a wealth of thoughts. Often times I like to go off into my own little world and just think, analyse and reflect on life. For me it is important to gain a perspective on life, to gain an insight of how we do things, why we do things and why things happen. Life is a myriad of experiences and our emotions can be catapulted from one dimension to another within the span of even a few seconds and by circumstances that we are never quite ready for. Yet it is also a journey of sort and a learning curve.

Other times, life has a really interesting way of just “being” or “Happening”. The unexpected can happen, people, things, circumstances which we had previously closed a door on, given up on or even forgotten can somehow miraculously materialise and remain a part of our lives forever. So I am now learning to accept that whatever will be will be and rather than trying to force my own agenda on life because I am scared of letting go, I am learning to have confidence and faith in my intuition. I have also found that now that I am a practising life coach, and having attended a range of personal development courses from Emotional Intelligence to NLP and immersed myself in a plethora of personal development material, I am so much more aware of how life really works at its core and also of the plethora of techniques and tools on hand to help make life’s journey that much easier.

For me, life is a constant learning curve. An ever revolving and evolving door. Evolution of time, of being, of person – constantly changing and moving on. The question here then is? Are we always prepared and ready for such change and what are the factors that can hinder us? Life and the universe will always continue to move forward, yet many times, we, as human beings (as human nature goes) often remain stagnant, static and unchanging. Fear, tending to sit in the background, hindering us, it’s small voice constantly challenging our need and desire to become fulfilled, to attain self-actualisation, the progressive medium of all things to where life for us can be just that little bit happier, fulfilled and content.

This therefore brings me back to the above quotes in terms of what we believe and what we think about. Beliefs are assumed truths. They are not facts. They are pieces of information fed to us over the years from birth by various people, from our parents, teachers to friends and of which we have internalised. Yet, sometimes along life’s journey we get to a place where our beliefs no longer work for us and these are times, when we need to challenge them, unpick them and realign them with new positive beliefs.

Our thoughts, beliefs and what we verbalise literally transcend into our lives in a very real way. Many people do not realise the crucial importance of the words and thoughts which they feed into their lives, their environment and their destiny. I believe the following quote certainly says it all: “Be careful what you ask for, you might just get it”.

The above therefore ties in with this saying “We are what we think all day long” (Buddah). Beautiful don’t you think in the context of liberating our minds from the shackles of negative mindsets and warped beliefs. Yet sometimes, we are not even aware of these limited beliefs and mindsets, and how they play a pivotal role in our lives. Yet once the revelation and awareness of these beliefs occurs within our consciousness, and once we realise the importance of working to change those limiting beliefs then the world can certainly be our oyster and as a personal life coach, it certainly is challenging yet interesting working with clients on unravelling limiting belief systems. Yet the beauty also is that once worked upon putting them back together in different yet positive dimensions is truly inspiring.

Over the past few weeks I have been forced to do more soul searching as my spirit has become restless again. This restlessness I now realise keeps surfacing because I am not being true to who I really am and who I really want to be. Also I realise that in a small way I am fearful of the greatness within me and so in small ways, I try to sabotage or procrastinate about things. The Poem called “Fear” by Marianne Williamson which you can view on another page of my blog sums up this fear. It is also because I have discovered that I am limiting myself in a small way which is hindering a major part of me that wants to be free to just “be”. Sometimes, I find I have a tendency to hide behind a mask of rigidity. This restlessness, I believe, is because at my very core, the very seed of who I am, is still being denied that opportunity to surface and rise because of my own battle with fear. Therefore, as a result I believe that I am not operating at my fullest capacity in terms of what I could really achieve. You may well state, “But you are a personal life coach, you should have all the answers.” Well, even a life coach needs a life coach.

After some soul searching I realised that a few of my old beliefs were still playing hide and seek with me, causing fear to try to sabotage the very foundation upon which I was building a very successful business but more importantly, trying to sabotage the incredibly large amount of holistic work I had done on myself. My own personal development was suddenly under threat. Yet the more this realisation dawned on me the more determined I became to continue to change my life by working on these limiting beliefs and one way to help me along this road was for me to get my own personal life coach to help support me on this journey. Being my own personal guinea pig was also a learning curve for me, in terms of honing my skills and bringing about an awareness of this subject, which would be very useful when dealing with clients.

The inner me is very much a risk-taker. A passionate, spontaneous human being. Someone not wanting to be tied to the conventional, nor the status quo. Someone who has a very free spirit and who wants to roam, explore, experiment and enjoy life at its maximum. I know that my spirit will guide me and keep me within the limitless boundaries that life dictates, so I know I will not venture into anything that could be catastrophic. Yet I must change some of my beliefs in order to move forward. I must start to unpick them one by one and replace them with more positives.

So once again I have decided to further this journey of self-discovery, which I personally find is a wonderful experience. It is a must and one that I know will reap even better benefits. Having a life coach along the way is a tremendous bonus not only for my own personal growth but for the experience of being on the other side of the table. Also I have just become a Personal Life Coach and to me, my own personal journey has enriched what I can personally give back to my clients.

I share the above with you all, because of this incredibly wonderful, interesting yet sometimes challenging journey called life – the will to help and empower others is certainly a goal worth reaching for and something about which I am totally passionate about. I have coached six people now and the feeling of satisfaction is empowering. To be in a position to watch people’s lives transform. To be part of their journey. To be in a position where confusion, uncertainty and despair is turned into a gleaming smile and where hope finally surfaces makes my journey as a new life coach all the more exciting, poignant and important.

And on that note, I embrace this very intrepid yet satisfactory journey as I join the army of Personal Life Coaches who are changing and transforming lives and I believe this all ties in quite nicely with my own personal strap line:

Aspire to Inspire – Dare to Dream

Valuing Friendships and Enjoying Life TODAY - Life is Too Short

2007-04-30T15:48:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone

“Some people, no matter how old they get,
Never lose their beauty --
They merely move it from their faces
Into their hearts.”
~Martin Buxbaum

The end of another month and we are already half way through the year. Yet, what an amazing year it has been so far, challenging, sometimes tiring yet still amazing. Despite all the negative, painful news we hear in the media, life still goes on for us all and as I personally journey along this path called life, I am ceasing to be amazed by what life throws at me.

Yet, one thing that I have come to realise and which I am beginning to accept as being one of the most important elements of life is the harsh and imminent realisation that we are only here on this earth for a very short time, and that it is time to really begin living our lives as if every moment is our last.

I know I have harped on about this in one of my earlier blogs, but so many crazy things have happened this year alone that I have been left pondering time and time and time again about life in its fullest. The question I have, not only begs to seek out Why are we here? But How Can we Enjoy Our lives to the fullest?

I certainly do not want to be one of those people crying at someone’s graveside having regrets about what I did or did not say, how I should or should not have acted towards them. I have always done this, but I am doing it even more now, especially since my sister died in November 2006 and more recently another friend of breast cancer (April 2007) and that is to tell people how I feel:

v Telling close friends and family members how I feel about them.
v Appreciating and letting them know that I am grateful for them being in my life.
v Appreciating and letting them know how they help to fulfil my life and thanking them for their friendship.
v Making time to meet with them in order to enjoy being with them.
v Even telling them how wonderful they look.

I hug my children every morning, before they leave the house. I have no qualms about complimenting someone I see in the street who looks stunning or who simply has a lovely smile. I have no qualms about telling someone I love them, because you know what, life sometime cheats on us, and have no guarantees about the next second nor minute.

Too many times, we allow ourselves to become trapped in the vortex of self, sometimes shutting ourselves away in eager pursuit of something greater, whatever that may be. Yet I urge you to step away from that journey for a moment, and look around you. Time and life are flying by. People change. Circumstances change. Change is an ever evolving tool of time.

Many people are not privileged to have people around them to love or support them. Many people are in places right now where you would never want to be such as those suffering from an illness or in the midst of a war, a famine, living in fear, living on the poverty line, watching someone die.

There is a saying that “You never know what you’ve got until it’s gone.” This statement is so true, because for many of us, one day we will look up and surface from where we are and realise that we have lost out on so much and there is no getting that treasure back.

Time does not stand still, it never will for us. We just have to roll with it as much as possible and enjoy the rollercoaster on the way up and on the way down.

So on that note, I have learned to love well, to love unconditionally and to open up my spirit, my thoughts, my dreams, my aspirations to the universe and to God. I know He will guide the most wonderful things into my life. Yet, I must be open to receiving that goodness and I must appreciate and be grateful for all that I have and what is to come whilst enjoying what I have for the moment, and making sure I value those that I love, friendships I have and the opportunities that are coming my way.

“Good, the more communicated, more abundant grows.”
John Milton

“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start,
anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.”
~Carl Bard

Lakeisha Jones - Inspirational Video

2007-04-29T08:04:00.001-07:00

The 7 Deadly Sins - yet Love Encompasseth ALL

2007-04-12T18:13:00.000-07:00

Pride is excessive belief in one's own abilities, that interferes with the individual's recognition of the grace of God. It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity.

Envy is the desire for others' traits, status, abilities, or situation.

Gluttony is an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires.

Lust is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body.

Anger is manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury. It is also known as Wrath.

Greed is the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual. It is also called Avarice or Covetousness.

Sloth is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work.

NASB: But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love

There is only one good--knowledge, and one evil--ignorance." ~Socrates

"Those who forget good and evil and seek only to know the facts are more likely to achieve good than those who view the world through the distorting medium of their own desires." ~Bertrand Russell

Success Principles

2007-04-12T13:38:00.000-07:00

More than 90% of the people that we face everyday are negative. They choose to look at the hole in the middle rather than the doughnut. Do not expect compliments or encouragement from them. These are the people who cannot pull you out of your present situation. They can only push you down. So be aware of them, spend less time with them, and do not let them steal your dreams away from you.

http://www.capcess.com/

Honesty, Friendship and Malice?

2007-04-12T13:37:00.000-07:00

“No one can lie, no one can hide anything, when he looks directly into someone's eyes.”

Paulo Coelho

Jim Rohn's famous quote: Success is not what you have but what you become.

Life is funny isn’t it, yet the beauty is that because it is a journey, it is also a learning experience. Often times, as we get older and hopefully wiser and more in tune with who we are as individuals, discerning hopefully right from wrong, we become aware of our surroundings more and who we are as human beings.

It is this awareness that affords us from making the same mistakes we made when we were younger and more green. This awareness through the eyes of experience can sometimes offer us insights into circumstances and people in a very surprising way and hopefully we learn to be objective and as non-critical and judgemental as life will allow us. By the time we are in our mid thirties, surely we should be mature and adult enough to deal with each other with honestly, integrity and the respect which all human beings are due. Yet, alas this myth is used by only a few people.

Personally, I happen to be a very open and trusting individual, sometimes to my own detriment. I can easily look someone in the eye and say what I feel because I know I have no malice towards anyone, no hatred nor resentment, envy or jealousy. I know that if I do feel any sort of antagonism towards anyone, then I certainly cannot greet them as a good friend, in the hypocrisy of a smile, a hug or a handshake. Yet there are many people out there whose lack of integrity and respect for themselves, never-mind others allow them to do just so. Parasites of Satan’s gang.

Recently, my intuition has been sending me signals. I have felt at times an almost invisible presence of unease and I know there are a few people within my own circle, so to speak, who smile in my face, who even offer me help and support yet who in underhanded ways wish me ill and would want to put the spokes of sabotage in my wheels, as I strive to better myself.

Yet, I realise that these insecure and malicious individuals are only turning on themselves, because I am much stronger than to be stopped in my tracks by any-one. I labour long and hard to do what I do and I have a vision. I have always offered help and advice to anyone who wishes to receive it. I may not always be right, and people will not always agree with me and may even challenge me, which is fine. I am open to such comments and if at anytime, I cannot personally offer assistance, I will go out of my way to put people in touch with those who can help them.

On this journey through life, I know I can certainly expect to experience things like this from people who are insecure, full of malice and who have nothing better to do with their lives than to wish ill on others. I have had so many conversations with people who have become successful and who have experienced such behaviour and that is why I am constantly reviewing my circle of contacts and people I call friends.

Yet amidst all this, I wish them well and should they wish to turn such negativity and parasitic behaviour into something positive, the world too can be their oyster.

Also in terms of what I have experienced over the past year, and yet even lately, where another one of my late sister's friends passed away from breast cancer on Sunday 8th April 2007, what are mere words from people who have no vision? Life is more than we take for granted. Life has many many wonderful things to offer us, yet many of us waste this gift on trivialities. Remember:

The grave is a rich place, full of people with great ideas, dreams and visions. DOn;t be a fool and let malice shroud your vision.
“Honesty is the best policy. If I lose mine honor, I lose myself.”
Willian Shakespeare

Time, The Healer of All Things

2007-03-27T16:48:00.001-07:00

Time, the healer of all things
The master and subscriber of our lives

Time, the flurry of a passing breeze
Gone within the blink of an eye
Or the slowness of death, as it oozes its way
(Un-noticed until the final curtain call)
Along the corridors of life’s frenzied busyness

Time, the perpetrator of all things
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
Here today, gone tomorrow

Time, too short a space in terms of
The span of a lifetime, my lifetime, your lifetime
Too short an existence for us
Within the enormity and complexity of this wonderful yet
vast universe

Time… waits to be still, so that the diamonds of truth
Which are sometimes hidden within our sub-conscious
Can be found, setting our spirits and hearts free
Free to enjoy and embrace life, NOW
Free from fear, free from the looking over of ones shoulder
Free to embrace life’s goodness and love’s splendid tenure
Given freely and unconditionally by life’s kindred spirits
Free so that truth can be revealed from within the cold
Dark and lonely chambers of imprisonment
Free so that we can be set free
Mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically

Time, waits on no man,
not even in the walk towards destiny’s beckoning call
For we can never be assured of anything other than
Life’s final curtain call

Remember:

Here today, gone tomorrow
In terms of eternity
we are like a tear drop in the vast expanse of the ocean
a minor significant existence
So start living each day with passion and vigour
live as if this day, will be your last day on earth
Start loving passionately and honestly
Build and embrace trusted and unique friendships
and remember
the most important decision you will ever make
will be who you choose to spend the rest of your life with
So that even if time, decides to steal you away early
you can say that you loved well
from the very depth of your heart and soul

Esther Austin All Rights Reserved 28th March 2007

Hope

2007-03-22T17:55:00.000-07:00

Deeply seated within me
I ache…..
a terribly profound yet wholesome ache…
(Can one experience such a paradox of differing feelings within the very same breath?)

It is an ache which resonates and reaches far
beyond my heart and soul
An ache, though wholesome, empowering and powerful
Still over bears itself within, throughout and around me

It dares to seep right into the very essence of my spiritual being
For it has a purpose, you see
It needs to make itself known
This pain needs for me to feel it
for me to experience how it makes my heart
Twist and turn in discomfort’s grasp
This ache needs me to know that it is real
as surely as the glow of orange sun rises at dawn
I must be made aware of it’s existence

Yet in betweix and between
a calmness of knowing resides
Of how love’s deep, simple yet intricate and infinite meanderings
Can capture someone’s heart and soul, within its honeypot
holding us to ransom, through the ache the lurks and roams wild and free
From the longing that comes from missing that special someone

Therefore, I feel, at present, lost
Hazily detached from the world
Because I am missing that special someone
so utterly and terribly so
That I am, at present, existing on automated thoughts
And robotic actions
And holding onto the hands of love’s promises
So tight
that I feel if I exhaled
and unravelled the knots which sit tight within my stomach
I would fail to function

But love and hope
Are buried deep within me
And I know he will come to me soon
He has promised he will come to me soon
It is written in the stars
Which smile down at me
Amidst the darkness of the night
He will come to me, soon
To stand by my side
To share in my lie, forever

Esther Austin All Rights ©Reserved 4th July 2006

ANOTHER SHOOTING, ANOTHER DEATH OF A YOUNG BOY - WHEN WILL IT END

2007-03-21T19:01:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gents

For the past year now we have been bombarded with so much bad news regarding our young black boys. Stabbings and shootings for no plausible reason at all other than sometimes being in the wrong place at the wrong time, being wrongly identified and killed as being part of some gang.

Whatever the reasons for these murders, when it comes down to basics, there should be no reason whatsoever for them to occur.

Many are saying we are living in a lawless society where the very basic element of humanity’s core, which identifies us as beings is being eroded. Respect for both the self and others is almost non-existent. Respect is used in the same vein now as “you git me” “blud” “yeah, yeah, yeah” - words that have no meaning or character of thought. What does the word Respect really mean to these people. It’s perceptual connotations seems to have eluded this current generation.

Valuing life and others, the environment, property, possessions, other people’s possessions seems to be an alien concept.

The older I become, the more I realise the absolute importance of why our children must have at least a basic understanding of where we as a people are coming from.

Rampaging around the streets with a gun in the pocket, being part of the pack, a “bad buoy, I and I is King” attitude seems to be new street cred, without even a thought for the depth and the seriousness of implications this generates and more so the reverberating effects this is having on the demise of the Afro community.

The implications of this do not even touch the base of this generation’s most primitive and consciousness level. These perpetrators seem to be living on the very edge of man’s most primitive and carnal form of existence. Why can they not aspire to be more than they are, why can they not see the hurt and pain they are causing not only to immediate family members, but the devastation it is having in their own homes, their environments, their community, and society as a whole?

Can they not see that they are dissecting and dismantling the structure of certain young lives who were in the process of making good, of young men who had dreams and visions for their future. Of young men who could be the leaders and role-models for tomorrow whom our society so desperately needs and is crying out for? Young men who for all accounts could’ve been pillars and shining lights in a world where darkness seems to be pervading at an alarming rate?

Many of my friends and I have been in heated discussions of late, especially with the last shooting of Olympic hero John Regis’s nephew. Wasted. For many of us now, it is time to get serious with a no-holding back on tougher sentences. The cry from those of us incensed is that we can mentor and spoon feed many of these lost souls to help them to get to a better place, but peoples, wrong is wrong and on this level and on this scale, wrong is about to get worst. Rehabilitation and youth offending institutes are seen as holiday camps for these young people. Yet, what is felt by a growing number of 40 something year olds is that it is time to get radical. Chain Gang, Public Exposure, some have even ventured to say flogging. Come on now, people are getting angry.

Whatever the solution, the problem goes much deeper than what is spilling out on the streets. It is festering in our homes, the very core from which stability, security, the nurturing, raising and understanding of standards and values come from and a knowledge at least of ones faith, which is one of the foundations upon which anyone can build their lives upon.

I too am getting angry and this has prompted me into action. I am tired of just standing by and watching these individuals walk through and cut short the lives of our yes our young men. We have a collective responsibility because at some point it could be yours or my children. I have two boys and my concern grows each day for them. Remember:

“It Take A Village to Raise A Child”
Old African Proverb

Peeps, it is time to take up the battle and go out into the streets and take back what this current generation are stealing from us. What saddens me most is that our parents and ancestors all fought the good fight. They put up with discrimination, racism and in a place called the Motherland to seek their fortune. Through their toil and sweat they paved a way for where we are today. It might not be an ideal place to be, but it’s a better place than our ancestors knew and what are many of this generation doing spitting on their graves and the paths which they opened up for us.

It’s time to stop these individuals in their tracks and take back control in our community, before we actually enslave ourselves within our own
Communities

We’ve been enslaved for too long – we cannot let it happen again
And this time if we do
It will be from the enemy within our own walls

The Banning of Mother's Day Cards at School?

2007-03-12T17:28:00.000-07:00

Metro - Date ??

“A school in Wales has banned children from making Mother's Day cards. Helen Starkey, head teacher at Johnstown Primary School, in Carmarthen, West Wales, took the decision to avoid upsetting children without a mother. She explained 'More than 5% of children here are separated from their birth mother and have either no contact or no regular contact with their mother. These include children who are bereaved, children whose parents are separated and are not domiciled with their mothers, and children who have been removed from parental care by statutory bodies. In all of our dealings with these children, we have to exercise great sensitivity.'

And if you're not British?
Mothers' Day is always celebrated on the second Sunday in May in Australia, Austria, Belgium, Brazil, Brunei, Canada, Chile, China, Colombia, Cyprus, Czech. Republic, Denmark, Fiji, Finland, Germany, Greece, Holland, Hong Kong, Iceland, India, Italy, Japan, Kenya, Latvia, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Malaysia, Malta, New Zealand, Philippines, Russia, Singapore, Slovak, Republic, South Africa, Swaziland, Switzerland, Taiwan, Trinidad, Turkey, Uruguay, USA, Venezuela, and Zimbabwe.
It's not tied into the church calendar as it is in the UK.
How did it start?
Traditionally, 16th century servants were given time off to return home and visit their mother, often taking a small gift or posy of flowers. Better-off servants would bring a special mothering cake. At the time, most young people in service lived away from their families and welcomed the rare opportunities to spend time with them.
Earlier still, the Ancient Greeks held spring celebrations in honor of Rhea, the Mother of the Gods. Rites in honour of Cybele, the mother of Classical Roman gods, lasted for 3 days.”

ESTHER’S COMMENTS

I know this is old news, but I was quite ticked off to read such nonsense. In terms of being politically correct, this Headteacher has lost the plot. Maybe she should consider leaving her job to cultivate peanuts on Mount Everest or some other job that requires very little thought processes and intelligence.

It seems that in the 21st century, we are becoming a body and a new class of Qualified Idiots. Being Politically Correct or “not” seems to be the order of the day, where in essence the focus of what really matters is pushed under the carpet.

There is a real crisis in terms of the education system in this country and how children and young people are seriously under-achieving, and leaving school without being able to read or write and a plethora of other problems. Therefore, one would think that this Headteacher would have better things to expend precious energy and time on than this?

The fact remains here is that Mother’s Day is a long-standing tradition. The fact here is that there will always be children who for one reason or the other are not with their mother. There is something called creativity. There is something called common sense and if this teacher was not so caught up within the veil of her own warped ideologies, she would not have made this such an issue.

If she was really “bovvered” about anything at all, maybe she should look at making school meals more appetising!!!!!!

My opinion is that rather than totally scrapping the making of Mother’s Day Cards, why not be a little creative, use a little common sense and get the children to make cards for “Special Women/Ladies” in their lives who hold the significance of a maternal role to them.

But I guess I am no position, being a mother, to think of such obvious, basic, positive alternatives such as the aforementioned and therefore, would you say that thinking outside the box is not PC enough, in order to make real judgements and decisions about something as simplistic and basic as the above solution?

Have I Arrived?

2007-03-12T16:56:00.000-07:00

Over the past few weeks, I have realised a magnificent yet tremendous change within myself. It is as if I am on a different plane, as if I am on this interesting and surreal journey of personal development, so intense that it feels as if scales have been lifted off my eyes and I am viewing the world on a different plane.

I feel I can see the world through sharper focus. All of a sudden, I am able to take in things around me which before, I had been oblivious to. All of a sudden my senses are heightened.

I can also feel this tremendous rush of energy seated within the bowls of my stomach and the gurgling and bubbling up of something so strong and intense, that at times I feel to explode.

Yet, I do not question all these changes and feelings that I am experiencing because I now know. I now know myself more in-depth. I am more aware of who I am at my very core. I have been working on and through myself once again. Exploring, digging deep, trying to understand what I am about, looking at my beliefs and whether they need to be re-arranged, if anything warped exists within. Looking at how I perceive myself, those around me, my environment and generally assessing my life.

I am now in a very beautiful place. A place where I just know. A place where I am comfortable being me and this has manifested itself in the opportunities and various things that are constantly coming my way. I feel as if I have arrived, reaching the pinnacle of self-actualisation – as per Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Yet, does one every truly ever arrive? Does one ever truly reach their full potential when life always has so much more to offer and for one to strive towards?

Yet at this moment in time, I am excelling and my heart is truly elated. All those late nights and sacrifices are yielding in abundance. Yes, there will be arrows shot at me along the way, there will be obstacles, gossip, etc, etc but the way I feel now, is because I am so secure within myself, these things are minor and will bounce off my back. I am not saying I will never feel the pain and brunt of a jealous man’s arrow and at times I too may reel with the pain of such an infliction, yet I feel I am strong enough now, stronger now to face what must be.

I am also living each day as if it is my last. Doing what I must and trying to enjoy the journey along with way and it’s great. I am meeting some wonderful people and experiencing many new and positive things. My favourite verse by Dr Maya Angelou says:

I am the dream and the hope of the slave
I am the gift that my ancestors gave
I rise, I rise, I rise

Words of Wisdom

2007-03-05T16:31:00.000-08:00

Cast your convictions of doubt
Onto the wings of the wind
For your journey through life
Will straddle many places
From the highs to the lows
Bringing happiness and sometimes sorrow
Yet how you travel along this path
And the ultimate outcome of that journey
Will be down to choice

But for many
The freedom of choice
Is not always an option

Esther Austin