Hope

Deeply seated within me
I ache…..
a terribly profound yet wholesome ache…
(Can one experience such a paradox of differing feelings within the very same breath?)

It is an ache which resonates and reaches far
beyond my heart and soul
An ache, though wholesome, empowering and powerful
Still over bears itself within, throughout and around me

It dares to seep right into the very essence of my spiritual being
For it has a purpose, you see
It needs to make itself known
This pain needs for me to feel it
for me to experience how it makes my heart
Twist and turn in discomfort’s grasp
This ache needs me to know that it is real
as surely as the glow of orange sun rises at dawn
I must be made aware of it’s existence

Yet in betweix and between
a calmness of knowing resides
Of how love’s deep, simple yet intricate and infinite meanderings
Can capture someone’s heart and soul, within its honeypot
holding us to ransom, through the ache the lurks and roams wild and free
From the longing that comes from missing that special someone

Therefore, I feel, at present, lost
Hazily detached from the world
Because I am missing that special someone
so utterly and terribly so
That I am, at present, existing on automated thoughts
And robotic actions
And holding onto the hands of love’s promises
So tight
that I feel if I exhaled
and unravelled the knots which sit tight within my stomach
I would fail to function

But love and hope
Are buried deep within me
And I know he will come to me soon
He has promised he will come to me soon
It is written in the stars
Which smile down at me
Amidst the darkness of the night
He will come to me, soon
To stand by my side
To share in my lie, forever

Esther Austin All Rights ©Reserved 4th July 2006

ANOTHER SHOOTING, ANOTHER DEATH OF A YOUNG BOY - WHEN WILL IT END

Ladies and Gents

For the past year now we have been bombarded with so much bad news regarding our young black boys. Stabbings and shootings for no plausible reason at all other than sometimes being in the wrong place at the wrong time, being wrongly identified and killed as being part of some gang.

Whatever the reasons for these murders, when it comes down to basics, there should be no reason whatsoever for them to occur.

Many are saying we are living in a lawless society where the very basic element of humanity’s core, which identifies us as beings is being eroded. Respect for both the self and others is almost non-existent. Respect is used in the same vein now as “you git me” “blud” “yeah, yeah, yeah” - words that have no meaning or character of thought. What does the word Respect really mean to these people. It’s perceptual connotations seems to have eluded this current generation.

Valuing life and others, the environment, property, possessions, other people’s possessions seems to be an alien concept.

The older I become, the more I realise the absolute importance of why our children must have at least a basic understanding of where we as a people are coming from.

Rampaging around the streets with a gun in the pocket, being part of the pack, a “bad buoy, I and I is King” attitude seems to be new street cred, without even a thought for the depth and the seriousness of implications this generates and more so the reverberating effects this is having on the demise of the Afro community.

The implications of this do not even touch the base of this generation’s most primitive and consciousness level. These perpetrators seem to be living on the very edge of man’s most primitive and carnal form of existence. Why can they not aspire to be more than they are, why can they not see the hurt and pain they are causing not only to immediate family members, but the devastation it is having in their own homes, their environments, their community, and society as a whole?

Can they not see that they are dissecting and dismantling the structure of certain young lives who were in the process of making good, of young men who had dreams and visions for their future. Of young men who could be the leaders and role-models for tomorrow whom our society so desperately needs and is crying out for? Young men who for all accounts could’ve been pillars and shining lights in a world where darkness seems to be pervading at an alarming rate?

Many of my friends and I have been in heated discussions of late, especially with the last shooting of Olympic hero John Regis’s nephew. Wasted. For many of us now, it is time to get serious with a no-holding back on tougher sentences. The cry from those of us incensed is that we can mentor and spoon feed many of these lost souls to help them to get to a better place, but peoples, wrong is wrong and on this level and on this scale, wrong is about to get worst. Rehabilitation and youth offending institutes are seen as holiday camps for these young people. Yet, what is felt by a growing number of 40 something year olds is that it is time to get radical. Chain Gang, Public Exposure, some have even ventured to say flogging. Come on now, people are getting angry.

Whatever the solution, the problem goes much deeper than what is spilling out on the streets. It is festering in our homes, the very core from which stability, security, the nurturing, raising and understanding of standards and values come from and a knowledge at least of ones faith, which is one of the foundations upon which anyone can build their lives upon.

I too am getting angry and this has prompted me into action. I am tired of just standing by and watching these individuals walk through and cut short the lives of our yes our young men. We have a collective responsibility because at some point it could be yours or my children. I have two boys and my concern grows each day for them. Remember:

“It Take A Village to Raise A Child”
Old African Proverb

Peeps, it is time to take up the battle and go out into the streets and take back what this current generation are stealing from us. What saddens me most is that our parents and ancestors all fought the good fight. They put up with discrimination, racism and in a place called the Motherland to seek their fortune. Through their toil and sweat they paved a way for where we are today. It might not be an ideal place to be, but it’s a better place than our ancestors knew and what are many of this generation doing spitting on their graves and the paths which they opened up for us.

It’s time to stop these individuals in their tracks and take back control in our community, before we actually enslave ourselves within our own
Communities

We’ve been enslaved for too long – we cannot let it happen again
And this time if we do
It will be from the enemy within our own walls

The Banning of Mother's Day Cards at School?

Metro - Date ??

“A school in Wales has banned children from making Mother's Day cards. Helen Starkey, head teacher at Johnstown Primary School, in Carmarthen, West Wales, took the decision to avoid upsetting children without a mother. She explained 'More than 5% of children here are separated from their birth mother and have either no contact or no regular contact with their mother. These include children who are bereaved, children whose parents are separated and are not domiciled with their mothers, and children who have been removed from parental care by statutory bodies. In all of our dealings with these children, we have to exercise great sensitivity.'

And if you're not British?
Mothers' Day is always celebrated on the second Sunday in May in Australia, Austria, Belgium, Brazil, Brunei, Canada, Chile, China, Colombia, Cyprus, Czech. Republic, Denmark, Fiji, Finland, Germany, Greece, Holland, Hong Kong, Iceland, India, Italy, Japan, Kenya, Latvia, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Malaysia, Malta, New Zealand, Philippines, Russia, Singapore, Slovak, Republic, South Africa, Swaziland, Switzerland, Taiwan, Trinidad, Turkey, Uruguay, USA, Venezuela, and Zimbabwe.
It's not tied into the church calendar as it is in the UK.
How did it start?
Traditionally, 16th century servants were given time off to return home and visit their mother, often taking a small gift or posy of flowers. Better-off servants would bring a special mothering cake. At the time, most young people in service lived away from their families and welcomed the rare opportunities to spend time with them.
Earlier still, the Ancient Greeks held spring celebrations in honor of Rhea, the Mother of the Gods. Rites in honour of Cybele, the mother of Classical Roman gods, lasted for 3 days.”


ESTHER’S COMMENTS

I know this is old news, but I was quite ticked off to read such nonsense. In terms of being politically correct, this Headteacher has lost the plot. Maybe she should consider leaving her job to cultivate peanuts on Mount Everest or some other job that requires very little thought processes and intelligence.

It seems that in the 21st century, we are becoming a body and a new class of Qualified Idiots. Being Politically Correct or “not” seems to be the order of the day, where in essence the focus of what really matters is pushed under the carpet.

There is a real crisis in terms of the education system in this country and how children and young people are seriously under-achieving, and leaving school without being able to read or write and a plethora of other problems. Therefore, one would think that this Headteacher would have better things to expend precious energy and time on than this?

The fact remains here is that Mother’s Day is a long-standing tradition. The fact here is that there will always be children who for one reason or the other are not with their mother. There is something called creativity. There is something called common sense and if this teacher was not so caught up within the veil of her own warped ideologies, she would not have made this such an issue.

If she was really “bovvered” about anything at all, maybe she should look at making school meals more appetising!!!!!!

My opinion is that rather than totally scrapping the making of Mother’s Day Cards, why not be a little creative, use a little common sense and get the children to make cards for “Special Women/Ladies” in their lives who hold the significance of a maternal role to them.

But I guess I am no position, being a mother, to think of such obvious, basic, positive alternatives such as the aforementioned and therefore, would you say that thinking outside the box is not PC enough, in order to make real judgements and decisions about something as simplistic and basic as the above solution?

Have I Arrived?

Over the past few weeks, I have realised a magnificent yet tremendous change within myself. It is as if I am on a different plane, as if I am on this interesting and surreal journey of personal development, so intense that it feels as if scales have been lifted off my eyes and I am viewing the world on a different plane.

I feel I can see the world through sharper focus. All of a sudden, I am able to take in things around me which before, I had been oblivious to. All of a sudden my senses are heightened.

I can also feel this tremendous rush of energy seated within the bowls of my stomach and the gurgling and bubbling up of something so strong and intense, that at times I feel to explode.

Yet, I do not question all these changes and feelings that I am experiencing because I now know. I now know myself more in-depth. I am more aware of who I am at my very core. I have been working on and through myself once again. Exploring, digging deep, trying to understand what I am about, looking at my beliefs and whether they need to be re-arranged, if anything warped exists within. Looking at how I perceive myself, those around me, my environment and generally assessing my life.

I am now in a very beautiful place. A place where I just know. A place where I am comfortable being me and this has manifested itself in the opportunities and various things that are constantly coming my way. I feel as if I have arrived, reaching the pinnacle of self-actualisation – as per Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Yet, does one every truly ever arrive? Does one ever truly reach their full potential when life always has so much more to offer and for one to strive towards?

Yet at this moment in time, I am excelling and my heart is truly elated. All those late nights and sacrifices are yielding in abundance. Yes, there will be arrows shot at me along the way, there will be obstacles, gossip, etc, etc but the way I feel now, is because I am so secure within myself, these things are minor and will bounce off my back. I am not saying I will never feel the pain and brunt of a jealous man’s arrow and at times I too may reel with the pain of such an infliction, yet I feel I am strong enough now, stronger now to face what must be.

I am also living each day as if it is my last. Doing what I must and trying to enjoy the journey along with way and it’s great. I am meeting some wonderful people and experiencing many new and positive things. My favourite verse by Dr Maya Angelou says:

I am the dream and the hope of the slave
I am the gift that my ancestors gave
I rise, I rise, I rise