The Potential of Falling in Love with Yourself

“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely”
Carl Gustav Jung quotes

I will shortly be running a series of workshops throughout February 2008 on sensuality and empowerment. The above topic is one which is part of the series. Details of workshops can be found below. Yet you may well ask why a workshop on this subject? Tina Turner used to sing “What’s love got to do with it?” and this is so true for many of us today. We no longer love who we are and what we are about, in fact many of us no longer know who we are, so the potential of falling in love with ourselves can seem very remote.

How many of us can really say with conviction and certainly that we love ourselves unconditionally? And yes, this is a difficult question, much easier said than done. This is because there are so many things that influence how we feel about ourselves, how we view ourselves, our bodies. This therefore has an influencing effect on how our minds operate, our behaviour and as a result what we actually understand about “loving ourselves”.

“You can explore the universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and you will not find that person anywhere.” Author Unknown

Firstly, we live in a society which never really encourages or acknowledges self love. This is because the love of self often gets mixed up with arrogance and vanity. Yet to really learn to fall in love with who we are, with our very essence, with the shape of our bodies, the colour of our skin, our very make-up is often dissected into the minefield of what is portrayed to us on a daily basis. Through various mediums, from the tv, newspapers, magazines, billboards etc. Subliminal messages surface all around us on a continuous basis until we become puppets of a power more greater than we are aware of. Therefore, after a while our perception of self changes. We do not reflect back what we are being bombarded by. Our images do not mirror what is on our screens. This then often draws us to the false conclusion that we are “outsiders”, freaks, something wrong with us. Then the self loathing and chipping away at our uniqueness and inner beauty begins to happen, perpetuated by other things such as other people’s reactions to us and their limited beliefs. For others, the loathing of the self comes from very painful and negative experiences.

“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance”
Oscar Wilde

Self love is learning to love who we are no matter what the fashion statement of the moment, no matter whether size zero is in or not, regardless of which celebrity is wearing what or eating what. It is about you completely and utterly looking yourself in the eye and acknowledging your beauty, your uniqueness and what you truly are and also who you represent. Yet, in the quote above, by Oscar Wilde, this is a life long romance. Learning to love yourself is a journey of growth, enlightenment and awareness.

Therefore, the potential to fall in love with yourself, once you come into the light of awareness is a wonderful place to be. No longer will you feel inhibited by the controls and dictates of what the masses are doing or how they are dressing. No longer will you allow outside influences to persuade or sway how you feel about yourself. You will learn and can learn to be in control and you can once again access the potential to fall in love with yourself, time and time and time again.

IF YOU THINK YOU CAN, YOU CAN

If you Think You Can, You Can!
You can be a total winner even if you're a beginner,
If you think you can, you can,
If you think you can, you can,
You can wear the gold medallion,
You can ride your own black stallion,
If you think you can, you can,
If you think you can, you can,
It's not your talent or the gift at birth,
It's not your bank book that determines worth,
And it isn't in the color of your skin,
It's your attitude that lets you win,
You can upset Connors or Austin,
Or win the marathon at Boston,
If you think you can, you can,
If you think you can, you can,
You can profit through inflation,
You can redirect this nation,
If you think you can, you can,
If you think you can, you can,
It doesn't matter if you've won before,
It makes no difference what's the half time score,
It's never over until the final gun,
So keep on trying and you'll find you've won,
You grab your dream and then believe it,
Go out and work and you'll achieve it,
If you think you can, you can,
If you think you can, you can!

~ Denis Waitley ~

YOU CAN IF YOU THINK YOU CAN

If you think you are beaten, you are,
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you like to win, but you think you can't,
It is almost certain you won't.
If you think you'll lose, you're lost,
For out in the world we find,
Success begins with a fellow's will.
It's all in the state of mind.
If you think you are outclassed, you are,
You've got to think high to rise,
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.
Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man.
But soon or late the man who wins,
Is the man who thinks he can.

~ C. W. Longenecker ~

Don't Make Resolutions go for Transformation

As the New Year draws to an end, I have been in a place of reflection and have been reflected upon as well. So many things have happened in a year that has sped by faster than I can dare to remember. The older I get, the more life seems to become a swirling mass of time, a cyclonic movement, a myriad of experiences towards something more tangible and greater than. For me life has been an exciting, interesting and insightful journey taking me to places where previously only my dreams existed. 2008 kicked in for me two weeks ago on that roller coaster of a ride which many people leave until 1st January has and is already taking me into a phenomenon place. The progression of another great journey towards an even bigger destination.

An online dictionary described the word journey as thus:

· “journey a traveling from one place to another, usually taking a rather long time; trip: a six-day journey across the desert.
· a distance, course, or area travelled or suitable for travelling: a desert journey”

So there we have it again, that word “journey” which is being and has being used and over-used time and time again. Yet its significance in terms of summing up life seems quite apt because on any journey, there will be ups and downs, experiences which we sometimes wish had never occurred and others which will be pleasantly steeped in our memories forever.

So I am wishing you all a truly wonderful and prosperous New Year where all your dreams can come true. So many people will be making New Year’ s resolutions. Many will follow through, yet most, will falter by the end of the month, regressing back into old ways, thoughts and behaviour patterns. The word “resolution” too is often over used and I think misunderstood or even mis-interpreted. Actually, I think the word “resolution” is a word which has become cheapened, loosing its true meaning, and just being a word to use at a certain time of year because it has come to be expected that in January one must make a resolution.
Dictionary.com’s definitions of the word are:

1. to come to a definite or earnest decision about; determine (to do something): I have resolved that I shall live to the full.
2. to separate into constituent or elementary parts; break up; cause or disintegrate (usually fol. by into).
3. to convert or transform by any process (often used reflexively)”.

Making a resolution sounds almost as if one is being forced or coerced to do something, so final that it looses its sense of purpose. When we decide to make changes in our lives, it has to be about transformation, even evolution. It is about taking a dream, a situation, a thought an idea and wanting to do something different or even bigger with it. It is about wanting to take that situation from the place it is now to eventually a better place. It is about looking at the bigger picture, the end result and realising that whatever it is you want to achieve, or whatever place it is that you need to get to, it is going to take determination, belief, action and maybe even sacrifice and it should be about reaching that rainbow at the end of the tunnel. Transformation is not just about the here and now, a short transitionary period where results are brief and dreams fade away back into the past of the last year. Think about a caterpillar and how that transforms into a beautiful butterfly and how that process can never go back to its original form. Think about your dreams, your New Year’s “Resolutions” from that point of view and if you can visualise that beautiful vision, then you are well on your way to making something incredibly wonderful in whatever you choose to transform.

Wishing you a truly wonderful New Year