My Constant Journey of Being

“To travel is to free the mind, will and spirit empowering you to experience freedom of expression and thought which then liberates the soul” Esther Austin

My visit to the Cameroon as a volunteer, Sunday 22nd February to Sunday 1st March 2009, has empowered me on many different levels. Touching down on Sunday evening, I sensed a calmness, a unity a warmth from the land and the people within. As the days have progressed this warmth and sense of contentment obviously resonates from the energy of this people, even amidst poverty. Poverty, abject poverty and yet the spirit of entrepreneurship prevailed everywhere. The reality for many was that if they did not find some way, any way to make some money, they would not be able to eat, their children would not be able to go to school. I spent time on the streets with street children, whose stories, I will shortly be sharing with you, so watch this space. I also recorded several interviews which will be on Qarma Broadcast, very soon.

Therefore, I have observed and asked the question what has caused this shift to take place in me once again. A learning, a growing, an understanding? What has caused a depth of reflection to take place that has once again awakened within me the need to “be” and “do” now more than ever before. The burdening drive to just get up and go to follow my divine purpose in reaching out, inspiring and empowering with the messages that I need to deliver.

The anticipated urge to lunge into the unknown, or should I say to lunge gracefully into just “doing” what I am already doing, settled in the knowledge that all is well and that the time for whatever I am about, is now. Recognising that the only time we all have is in the here and now. Dreaming about the future, may never manifest itself, yet to be able to dream, anyway is a most wonderful thing. Yet here I am, in the here and now and God has created the space for me to do what is necessary at this time and place, so therefore the only thing really stopping me from accessing this and doing is any perceptions I have of limitation. The urge to start life afresh and anew, someplace else is very potent and strong. The urge to re-evaluate who I now am, or rather the realisation and awareness of knowing that I have changed/transformed once again is a wonderful place to be, because in this moment of learning, I transform my world and that which is around me.

I feel a strength of knowing inside of me, more serene, quieter yet stronger, now. This whole sense of “knowing” what is happening around me before it happens, knowing what someone will say before they open their mouth, understanding a sequence of events before the outcome has been deciphered, having a sense of linking with destiny so that when anything happens, it has already happened. Prior to this trip I dipped in and out of this place of “knowing” often, yet this week I have been living in this level and space of constant higher consciousness and awareness. Yet to be in this place and space, I chose to look at certain aspects of myself that needed to be trimmed and honed more. Aspects of me which I had to tidy up, put back in place, in order to allow me to be fully present, authentically and honesty. Therefore, the more I open myself up to the spirit of authenticity, the more I cleanse and detox, the more I allow myself to be constantly guided and led by God and all universal elements, the more I fall into the true me allows me therefore to experience life and its wonderful abundance more and more.

So, as always, I urge you not to be afraid to look into the mirror and face truth. It may prove to be painful, if only for a short while. You may certainly not like what you see staring back at you. Yet the reality of who we are is that we have many dimensions and facets, all part of who we are in totality and all which should be acknowledged. When you can define yourself as being truly you, when you can stand and say powerfully that “I AM”, when you allow yourself to fall into God’s hands (or into the universal flow or your higher source, whoever you believe in) when you allow this to happen and allow this source to guide you – you can only walk into the abundance that life has in store for you.

And on that note, I must leave you with “I AM, THAT I AM”

So therefore…….Bon Voyage, as you journey through life

A FRANK AND HONEST ACCOUNT OF MY OWN EMOTIONAL STRUGGLE

Hello Everyone

I am choosing to open up to you today with a truth which many of you may resonate with. Being on this wonderful spiritual journey has certainly been an interesting and eclectic mix of ups and downs, travelling along mountains and valleys, but these challenges have honed me into who I am now and also for the work ahead of me which I have to do.

Over the past month or so, I have been struggling with feelings regarding a relative of mine. I found this person to be selfish and wrapped up in their own world of “self”. There was an incident in November, where I allowed my “ego” to take over. I allowed myself to become consumed with anger and needless to say, I had to get down on my knees and humbly ask God to forgive a few words that proceeded out of my mouth as I verbally battled with this person.

For a long time after that I refused to have anything much to do with her, yet my spirit was not settled. Time after time my spirit questioned me about looking at this situation from the spiritual side, looking at myself and asking me to be careful because I was standing on the platform advocating love, peace etc and inspiring others,. Obviously, I did not want to recognise this as I wanted to hold onto what this person was doing as my own personal crutch to gossip and own bad thoughts. Yet, because my spirit guides me often and also acts as my Jiminy cricket (my conscious), I had to relent, looking inside of me to reflect on what I was doing. I also remember around that time, I was reading “The Essence of Buddha, The Path to Enlightenment by Ryuho Okawa a wonderful book which talks much about the state of being, the purity of being and walking on the path of enlightenment. I felt a bit of a hypocrite, I can tell you because at that moment in time, I knew I was not practising what I was preaching.

Yet I struggled to deal with letting go of the resentment and anger that had built up in me. I meditated more, I prayed more and I literally had to go deep within myself in order to let go of these feelings, which were not serving me at all. The more I complained about this individual, the more uncomfortable I felt in my own spirit, and the more I held onto how I was feeling was the more I complained. Therefore because I was not walking in my own truth which was to address ME and how I needed to nurture myself with unconditional love and forgiveness how could I ever learn to forgive and accept this person for who they were at that moment in time?

There is a saying that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear and I had to learn that whatever this person had to learn, she would do so when the time was right and myself included. It was certainly not up to me to be making judgements. So in the process of learning to deal with, to heal and to be mature about the situation, I contacted this individual and calmly and respectfully spoke to her about anything and nothing in general. I did this on several occasions and now we laugh and speak quite well again and I no longer feel the animosity I initially did towards her. Yet it took time for me to learn to let go. I had to work through my own take and perception of the situation and realise that I had to let go of any expectations I had of her.
Yet, I feel I have still missed the true essence of being authentic in that, in order to fully restore what must be, it is for me to tell this person that “I love you.” It is not about whether this person would receive this act or not, but it is because I needed to do it.

Life is a funny thing, is it not? We all struggle from time to time with many things that we allow to burden us and yet the most simple thing it seems, and in reality it is not as simple as it could be, is that often times it is to deal with the self first and then others around you will shift in accordance.

I feel so much better now. The more I grow along this spiritual pathway is the more I am less tolerant of myself not walking in my truth and in fact, my spirit does not do very well if I slide off the pathway, even for one minute. It becomes restless and when I start to complain, moan and criticise then I know it is time for me to shut myself away and re-align who I am through solitude, prayer and meditation.

Yet I realise life is an ever evolving door of challenges, and as we grow into who we are, we are able to deal with life in a more comfortable way, hopefully and the learning is certainly worth the pain because it then enables us to move forward in a different direction if necessary.

More About The Journey and Importance of Discovering The Self

From a distance the world looks so clear and bright, innocent in its clarity. Light from beyond a time when the concept of life was still being conceived, striking strong in the firmament, fresh, new, a birthing of one of creation’s master piece. Yet when one takes a closer look through the microscope of reality, the present here and now, the illusion of life begins to unfold. Within those tiny atoms which only the spiritual eye can see, life meanders by, on a journey full of adventure and mysterious liaisons, sometimes even deceitful and painful but all for our tasting and experiencing.

So what is the essence of life in light of this most complex form of clarity? What is the essence and truth of what we see, how we perceive what we see and the understanding of what we perceive?

Is perception the parameter along which we align our truth and therefore our understanding of the world? Therefore, how do we know whether our perception of the reality of life is the truth? and that we are not following a path which is full of treachery and deceit and ultimately untruth?

Can the two lines between truth and untruth become blurred so readily and easily that the differentiation between both be so subtle that if judgement were to be passed the sentence of a man’s life could be life or death? Therefore, does it not stand to reason that as we travel along the spiritual highway, in the observance of life and self, we must be explicably honest with ourselves and the journey we make within our own selves? Painful yes, to face that mirror of truth which often reveals many demons silently and subtly feeding off our spirits and souls, keeping us chained within the dimensions of fear, pain, aggressiveness, bitterness and many more negative parasites.

Yet until we can take that painful walk within, starting the detoxification process of our own lives, then whatever way we reach out to others, cannot be from the ultimate spirit of unconditional love, truth, honesty and integrity. Realise this – you cannot give what you don’t have. Realise another truth – that unless we surrender to our higher purpose, God, the Universe, and learn to trust implicitly in that source, we cannot “be” all that we are meant to be.

Many people operate on a superficial and materialistic platform in the world which has become the normal way to operate. Yet, it cannot be effective within its true purpose and end result and unless you are serious about your spiritual walk, your endeavours will never be as fruitful as they can be, until you operate from the level of pure truth and only your spirit and soul and guidance from above can take you there.

Yet, realistically speaking, this journey is not an easy one. It can be challenging at the best of times, yet it is so rewarding. The learning and growth and understanding of self and life on an intimate realm is something that I can only wish you can one day experience. It all takes time, discipline, a zeal and zest to truly get to know who you are and to understand how you work. It is a path where you will climb many mountains, stumbling and falling along the way. Yet the beauty of this journey is that you will learn all you need to learn in order to become the person you are truly meant to be and the love that will encompass your heart will be one of the most awesome experiences of self.

So go on, this year become the person you were meant to be. Be honest with yourself and yet, be gentle. Walk your truth and walk your talk in honesty and integrity and let life unfold before you like a dream.

“If we were more aware of our own shadow, we would not be afraid to look in the mirror.” Esther Austin

Know Thyself

So here I am, New Year, New Start and already feeling fantastic. There is a sense of peace and knowing within me that permeates through every fibre of my being that this is the year. And yes, for starters I thought that for 2009, I should upgrade slightly and give myself a more professional look. So here I am, with brand new newsletter in tow.

So where do I start? Well it may be a little late in the day but I’m going to start by wishing you all a peaceful and abundant year. Why peaceful and abundance, go to my emotions in transit blogspot to find out more:

Why wishing you abundance? Because even amidst all the doom and gloom of recession etc, etc – we have at our fingertips an abundance of gifts and they are all FREE.

Why peaceful? Because I believe that at this moment in time, the world is going through much upheaval. It is not hard to ignore the constant barrage of Credit Crunch, House Prices, Job Cuts, War etc, etc. It is no surprise that people are now searching for something deeper to enhance their lives? Is it no wonder that a mass weariness and tiredness of just existing on the periphery of existence itself, day in day out have people looking for something deeper to experience in their lives? There has been a shifting of dimensions on the spiritual realm for a long time. An undercurrent of something major about to occur and the reality for many is that God, the Universe, the Higher Powers that Be will no longer wait for our excuses to glide from our mouths in terms of us not taking responsibility for our lives and experiences and ultimately not facing our own truth.

We can see the effects of that shifting before our very eyes and there are some profound messages in all of these dynamics.

I interviewed Hazel Oatey from The Energy Wizard on Monday and we had an incredible conversation which covered many things within the spiritual realm. One key topic matter that came up was the one of being our authentic selves, tapping into our truth and facing our demons in order to find the truth within.

As always with the old cliched "life is a journey" it simply is and cannot be described in any other way. Many people have reached places in their lives, in the here and now, because they have chosen to work towards being here. Many people have chosen to seek truth within themselves because they realise that there is a better more peaceful and harmonious way to live life and not just exist until the sweeping hands of death, gathers us up in his arms.

Finding our true authentic self takes times. We have to go on many journeys, along many pathways. Some of us, myself included, have had to touch the bottom of despair at times only to surface, painfully from the very seeds of the earth,growing along the way and hopefully learning too. This learning serves us in many ways. This learning should be a learning about who we are. This should be a time and place where we can evaluate who we are, reflect and analysis who we are so that we can aim to become a different and hopefully better person.

Yet, the reality for many is that they may never come to this awareness of realising that they need to face the mirror of truth. Yet one thing that came from my conversation with Hazel is that the way the Universe is shifting, many people will not have a choice.

Looking around us, we can see how the world is shifting at a very dynamic and profound pace and the messages of what needs to be learned are so very clear.

We now need to take back responsibility for who we are, for our lives. We can no longer afford to be reliant on the Government and anyway, why should they owe us anything?

Take note people and watch as this shift takes momentum. It is time for you to do whatever you feel is necessary to get to undress your authentic self and you will be so surprised at what you discover about yourself and what you experience in your life.

You want to talk about abundance? Well it is certainly there in front of your eyes to be experienced and enjoyed. But first of all, work on your truth and then you will be able to see these wonderful, free gifts. But just in case your curiosity gets the better of you, I'll let you take a peek anyway:

Love
Peace
Contentment
Happiness
Honesty and Integrity
Values

These are all free to every one of us, but how many of you can say you are truly rich in abundance when you do not even know yourself?