I want to fly

I want to fly
Surfing the wings of the clouds
Orbiting between
the dimensions of time and space
Within the spaces
Touching my soul against the
Moon and stars
Releasing fear
Into the bosom of eternity
And grasping life
Within the present moment
embracing, cuddling into this here space
Whilst also looking, expectantly out
At the maelstrom of opportunities
That rise to greet me
In abundance

E Austin
December 2010

Being in a Good Space Emotionally

Dear Everyone

Well how is everyone? Isn’t it getting cosy as the winter months draw in. It’s time to hibernate a little, draw back and away from and spend more time with you, in the cosiness of your space. What a great feeling this is, to be able to spend time with you – that is if you remember who you are. Why do I say this? Because often times in the busyness of life, we forget who we are, we forget to nurture ourselves, we forget to give time to ourselves. Because until we nurture and love ourselves first, we cannot nurture nor love others.

I am also in a good space emotionally. I have loved someone for a very long time, but that has very much been a static love, built on a good friendship and attraction but nothing more at this moment in time. It’s all about timing this life.

So when I was presented with someone who caught my fancy so to speak, not long ago, offering to give me a hug and to hold me, I blanched at the idea. When it comes to intimate relationships, I have always kept my boundaries very clear and kept men out. Yet I didn’t realise that I was also keeping myself out, and keeping my heart shut down. My heart had been shut down for quite a while actually. I was stunned by this as trying to open up was painful and disconcerting. When I was offered a hug, the way I reacted, showed me how much I had never really experienced love in such a genuine, honest , open way. Yet this was now happening because of the work I have and continue to do on myself and to a change in my beliefs about me and my expectations for my life. My issues were to do with trust and feeling safe. Boy, here we go again with another aspect of me to heal and deal with I thought!

Now that I have decided to allow myself to open up, it has been quite a surreal journey. I got tired of being on my own, I got tired, very tired of doing this journey by myself, yet I was not open to just having anyone walk into my life. I had to learn to ask God and the universe to provide me with a relationship which honoured my highest self, and to realise that I was deserving of only the best in my life. I had no specific details or check list of anyone, other than they honoured my highest self and vice versa.

The beauty of this journey is that who I am now has been informed by what I have experienced. On an emotional level, it's good to almost be back to self-loving me which in turn means I can love someone else, whoever that person is. Actually I don’t think I was never on this level with anyone ever in my life – so I should say that it’s good to be able to look forward to exploring and experiencing something truly wonderful. More importantly is the ability to honestly and openly communicate and to be open to unconditional love first of the self, then for another.

I believe that everything that happens in life is for a reason and a season. At this moment in time this is my season and I am taking each day as it comes. For me any experience now is not about how long it lasts, but more so the quality of the time spent with and the joy and love that experienced. There is a saying it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved before. This current journey has been short but sweet. It took for one person to hug me and spend time with me to enable the love to flow into me one that I have not experienced for a very long time. It simply was a very short-lived journey but so valuable in terms of who I am now.

I came across this phrase on youtube: 'How can you manifest the heart's desire? The solution is simply to just act'

Many blessings and much love

It is Better to Have Loved and Lost than Not to have Loved at All

Hello Everyone.

Music is a powerful medium. Words are powerful energies which flow into our world.

I would like you to listen to some of the words in this song by Luther Van Dross. They are deep and reflect how when we love unconditionally another, and make that choice to do so, then even for the briefest of moments, we can choose to enjoy a love that sits within our heart and soul.

When we get to a place where we no longer can dream, believe in love or have a passion for life and exist on an emptyness which cannot even pervade our reality and where we live off charades and pretences and being what we are not - then what is this journey all about?

Is not this journey about finding our soul purpose and finding that expression of joy in our hearts? Any walk is about finding true peace and love of self and life itself. And when we operate on emptyness whatever we deliver reflects how we feel inside.



Luther Van Dross - I'd Rather Be

There is a line in this songs which says:

'I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else. I'd rather be beside you in a storm than safe and warm by myself. I'd rather have hard times together than to have it easy apart. I'd rather have the one that holds my heart"


Everything is for a reason and season. Have a listen. Music is powerful. Words are powerful. Belief in what we are is powerful. Yet Beliefs are not always the truth.

Much love to you all and just have a think about what you truly want in your life. Often times wee make choices which we feel do not serve our higher purpose, yet for every choice made, the experience of it influences who we then become.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wlDKqCVhLE


Our greatest expression of self is love which you cannot only speak about and write about becauseit is something that you feel.

Much love and many blessings

LEARNING TO TRUST IN THE UNIVERSE, LETTING GO AND LET GOD

It’s been a while, since I penned my thoughts. There has been a lot of shifting and changing going on over the past few months in my life on quite a large scale. Such has been the shift that The Beacon Healing Space which I was due to launch – I had to cancel at the last minute. A matter of standing in my integrity and as a matter of principle.

Sometimes on this journey, we are presented with experiences and it is dependent upon how we view those experiences, which then informs how we approach life.
Sometimes these experiences come at us fast and furious. As soon as one hurdle has been tackled another immediately presents itself to us. In the frustration of such presentations, we can often become so caught up in the jumping that we fail to stand back before the leap, to view the panoramic view of the situation around us, to exhale and to go in gently and objectively rather than with haste and fear. And that is what has been happening to me.

I must admit to being a workaholic. I create ideas quickly and easily and then va va vroom after them. Yet, I say with tail between legs, this has not proved productive, having my hands in too many pots. This is something which I fall into on occasion which meant I had to go back to the drawing board to really re-brand and specifically define what my business offered, to re-discover my USP and to be specific where I put my energy into.

Therefore as I now look back over the past two months more so, they have been incredibly frustrating for me and as a result I have been yo-yoing emotionally. Bat and ball, hell no, boomerang it felt like, back at me all the time. The past two weeks therefore have proved to be a time of enormous shifts where the universe forced me to stop, take stock, properly this time Esther (so says she again tail further between legs....peeps this is an admission I don’t really want to make) and to get some rest. I slept so much last week and the week before you’d think I hadn’t slept the whole year. Yet I also realise part of the tiredness was because I was growing spiritually which often means I retreat and sleep a lot.

I have been reading the most amazing books one ‘Conversations with God’ by Neale Donald Walsch now ‘The Power of Now’ by Eckhart Tollie. So much incredible learning in those books. So much so that I chose to take away and evaluate about me. One thing that comes to mind was the mention of the two spectrums which many of us operate from. Fear or Love. Dependent therefore on which end of the spectrum we operate from, this drives our experience of life and how we experience the experience. I have also been learning more about trusting and totally letting GO. Believe me at times I was still holding on to the letting go. Then my eldest son said something this week which made me take a step back. Remember out of the mouth of Babes....... He said believing that you can get what you ask for was like posting a letter. If you post the letter, you have to let it go, in order for it to drop into the letter box in order for it to arrive at its destination. But if you put your hand in the letterbox and still hold onto the letter, you have not posted it and it cannot arrive.

Therefore, when we learn to trust in God/The Universe (whatever you call your higher source) then we know we are being divinely guided. Yet when we slip off that pathway with our own agenda, that is when pain and doubt and fear creeps in. Hard dough.

The journey of being an entrepreneur is fraught with many ‘challenges’ and note I place that word in parenthesis because it is how we perceive what we are going through, which therefore informs how we deal with situations. Yet my learning this year more so than ever has been amazing. The tests I have been given I know have been to inform who I am learning to ‘be’, to inform how I operate in this world and to inform and educate me for the work I am doing and will continue to do.
But basically in a nutshell I had to learn to ‘LET GO AND LET GOD’ do his thing and you know what, what a relief. I can see the woods through the trees, there is a fresh sense of purpose and yes, tail still between the legs, but I had a lot of adjustments to make about how I was thinking and even to look at my belief structure.

I often reflect and look at whatever I do and how I personally operate. I always go back to what Mahatma Ghandi once said “Be the change you want to see in the world.” When we can reflect upon who we are and our actions and then watch how they play out on the external of us, we can truly learn many valuable lessons which ultimately empower who we are.

I am feeling very different now. After much reflecting I realise I needed to experience all that I did so that I could be fully present to open myself up to trusting what is already in my space. This has also taught me to be ever present with the attitude of gratitude, to say thank you even when I feel that the tide has turned, leaving me on the shore, tired, washed out and wondering - where to next? Ah haaaaaaa

Sending you all much love always