And if I Stand

‘And if I stand still along this road for one brief moment
to reflect and look at the path just trod
From what angle will I view my life
which therefore determines how I proceed forward?

Will I see my life’s challenges staring up at me
with angry beacons of failure, regret and pain?
With my finger always pointing, accusing, outward, away from ME?
A fallen victim of my innermost fears and illusions?

Or will I see them sitting silently amongst the thorns
and in between the hedges, no longer holding me captive
no longer cradled in their power
because I have saluted and honored the space they played on my journey
because I have allowed myself to learn the lessons presented to me
for without them I could not stand on this mountaintop
With back straight against the biting wind
For without them, I would not be able to reflect back upon
For without them I could not have discovered me

Esther Austin
March 2010e

The Road to My Destiny

Climbing the road towards my destiny
I glimpse the path from whence I just trod
a panoramic view of lessons learned
lay sprawled in captive state below
And seeing the distance between the land and me
I continue towards the mountaintop
Though steep and treacherous it appears to be
I choose to continue unabated.

EAustin 21 February 2010

Riding the Waves of Life and its GREAT

It has been a while, has it not since I have put pen to paper on this page. Often times over the past few months, much has come to me. Yet I have denied myself the opportunity to translate from mind to paper my thoughts as I have allowed other daily pressures to overwhelm me, thereby silencing the flow of words into the abyss of stagnation.

Yet many months down the line, here I am riding the waves of life in the boat of contentedness feeling a sense of anticipation, expectation at what I know will manifest in my life this year.

My journey has been incredible to say the least and the beauty of this journey is that I am always learning, constantly trying to understand myself during this process. My mission down here is to serve humanity and I am enjoying this role so much. Yet in order to serve well, I have had to learn to love well, to open my heart to compassion’s lure even more fully and to embrace everything that I experience from that place of love. It’s not always been easy emotionally for me to let go of emotions which were negative and at times a struggle yet this lesson serves me well.

How ,you might wonder have I got to such a place? It has certainly not been an easy journey and there have been times when I have been left wondering, will I do this whole journey on my own? The saying that people come into our lives for a reason and a season has certainly served me many lessons. The main lesson for me was in the letting go of certain people within my circle, for whatever reason, knowing it was for the best and that I should learn to do this in love. Not in anger nor resentment (and believe me there were times when because of my own expectations, I wanted to do get angry - but the new me would not let me) – yet the learning for me was that it was ok to let them go and more importantly it was time to let them go because certain friendships no longer served a purpose.

Sometimes some were severed in not-so-comfortable nor amicable ways and I had to learn to deal with all this from a place of love. I even had to question on occasion, the way I handled the separation in terms of whether I had done this from a place of judgment. What I now find about myself is that it becomes easier to look in my mirror or truth and deal with my faults, because I have learned to love myself and love both sides of me. Therefore when I need to deal with anything which I would otherwise sweep under the carpet, I can face them boldly.

So why I am still riding the waves? Because the beauty of this spiritual walk is learning to walk my talk. Constantly trying to be mindful of who I am and what I am. Of my thoughts, words, deeds and action. The more I understand myself, is the more that I can experience life in its abundance and in a more peaceful and calm way. Therefore the truer I am to me means I am more able to serve humanity from a place of honesty, integrity, truth and wholesomeness.

Sounds like spiritual waffle? Well it’s not because like Mahatma Ghandi once said ‘Be the change you want to see in the world’ and the more we focus on the self, on ‘US’ and take our focus off others and excuses is the more that our lives can shift and transform into a more comfortable space and that place is a wonderful place of awakening.

Riding the waves is for me, at this moment in time, is the manifestation of everything my soul has ever desired from the universe. Riding the waves is that after years and years of trials and challenges, of building my business, which I know were put into place to test and strengthen me, it seems (fingers crossed) that I have at this moment in time, passed the test and now it is time for me to reap my abundance and for this I am eternally grateful.

Remember: Success if 1% Inspiration and 99% Perspiration

Yet for me the beauty of riding the waves is in just BEING me. It is in doing the work I do, following my dreams and realizing them and loving every moment of this creative and fulfilling process. Through serving others, empowering and transforming lives, yet this is only because I have allowed myself to be the channel for this vocation 100% and have accepted the role I have to play.

So yes, I am back here with you all after a few months, surfing and riding the most beautiful of waves and waiting for them to crash to shore where I will leap off to dart into another of life’s wonderful adventures creating more magic in my life and other peoples lives and its GREAT.

So my motto to you is: ‘If I can do it, So Can You’

In order to Receive Love you have to be Love first - It's all about working on Yourself

Hello Folks

It certainly has been a while. Much has happened and is always happening. A constant shift in experiences and awareness. A constant moving forward of consciousness about life, about who I am, about how I operate and as always I say it is a beautiful journey and I love it. The learning never stops and every day I am understanding more things about me, and also finding out more about the amazing gifts God has given me. One very special gift, for me it is a gift, is that of being honest with myself and in the space, I am able to instantly deal with something if it does not feel right, or if results are not what they should be. Too many of us live life in the vacuum of a lie. Things happening around us and to us, and yet the denial continues, time and time again. Always pointing the finger at another. Yes, kinda painful, but it’s one of the many universal truths.

Remember: If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. Wayne Dyer

In my last newsletter, I wrote the following and it was amazing the responses I received:

‘So here we are two weeks later after my last newsletter and things just keep getting better and better. I will be updating my inspirational blog, Emotions in Transit shortly to share with you something quite personal. Basically about my journey of love. Love of self? You may well ask? Well yes but also how I identified how I have shut men out of my life for a long time now, because of my fear of rejection, a fear which was embedded so deeply, not even I could heal it. Yet by recognizing what I was doing and the act itself of almost self-sabotage, I’m now in a wonderful place to fully open up to my divine partner, who is already on the horizon and he is everything this gal could ever desire. Yet I had to go on a personal journey of further self-discovery, praying and meditating and asking the universe to send people my way to help me heal me more what I could not touch. The first point in really moving forward many years ago was to stop pointing the finger outwards and to look at what was going on with me. The second was to deal with stuff from my childhood…heavy stuff..not really – could’ve been, but it was more of a relief for me.’

It was interesting to see the responses I received from many people, about that brief piece I wrote and I thank all of you for your messages. It was also interesting how many people still didn’t quite get it. People sent emails congratulating me on my new relationship and saying they were glad that I had found happiness. But I wanted to scream ‘don’t you get it?’

What I wrote above was very much about me identifying what I needed to do in order to manifest the best relationship for me. I have already met this person in my dreams and vision. Remember everything we experience starts first in the mind, through thought. We are the sum of our thoughts – Napoleon Hill. What I wrote about was about me doing the work on me, dealing with any baggage, any thoughts or habits that were not conducive to attracting the right person for and to me. For me it is about getting n touch with my soul, that place of unconditional love, that place of peace. This can only be attained through prayer and meditation and focusing on the self.

You see, we live in such a shallow and materialistic society where being in a state of contentedness and happiness is always dependent upon external things validating and defining who we are. Whether that be through drink, food, the type of shop we buy our food or clothes from, the designer label on our clothes, the car we drive the area we live in, the people we associate with – otherwise it seems, we are of no use in society, we have no standing!! If someone is happy it is usually attributed to something else outside of them, yet the true reality is that true contentedness and happiness comes from within, from the experience we engage and embrace in with our soul, and then everything else around us is a bonus.

Yes at times I do have my highs and lows, especially of late, (as I am a bit of a workaholic and it would be so nice to be swept off my feet on occasion, but I am not prepared to compromise to settle for any less than what I deserve so the work has to be done on me) because sometimes this journey is lonely. But on the whole, I love my life and have learned to be grateful for everything and everyone who has ever graced my life, because there is and has been learning in every situation, circumstance and relationship.

When I conduct talks, I like to use this analogy of the Tsunami and what happened a few years ago. If everything were to be swept away from us, could we still stand on our own two feet, proud, tall and dignified and still say “I am……..” The reality is that not many people could . Think about this …who would you be without your brand new sports car? Who would you be if you were not wearing Gucci? Who would you be without your make-up? Who would you be if you did not associate with professionals and academics? Who would you be if you were the man underneath a cardboard box, every night on the pavement with nothing but a penny to his name?
So my initial piece in the newsletter was merely to say that I have been and am always working on Me. Pointing the finger away from me, using should’ve, would’ve and could’ve is no longer acceptable.

I have and had to take personal responsibility for me so that when this person does enter my life it will be same energy attracting like and because I know I deserve the best possible person ever I have to truly honor and respect who I am and know that this will be received. In the same vein for whoever it is who will grace my path, that mutual respect will be reciprocated and given. Do unto others as you would have done unto you. We are a reflection of our relationships, so therefore do we not deserve the best?

I leave you with much love and light and encourage you to begin or continue on your journey. It is not always easy, life never is, but there are tools, knowledge and a body of awareness and consciousness to help smooth that bumpy ride for you. We all go through tough and rough times, its standard really, so rather than playing the victim and wishing you had a better childhood or upbringing, relationship or whatever it is, realize that you have the gift of life, you have the gift of awareness, you have the gift of choice to change your life around at any moment in time and you have the choice to get to know you and experience you so that you can experience the absolute best in life – now that is what I call freedom.

But then how do you change something you are not aware of?????? That is for my next update…until then…………………….