In order to Receive Love you have to be Love first - It's all about working on Yourself

Hello Folks

It certainly has been a while. Much has happened and is always happening. A constant shift in experiences and awareness. A constant moving forward of consciousness about life, about who I am, about how I operate and as always I say it is a beautiful journey and I love it. The learning never stops and every day I am understanding more things about me, and also finding out more about the amazing gifts God has given me. One very special gift, for me it is a gift, is that of being honest with myself and in the space, I am able to instantly deal with something if it does not feel right, or if results are not what they should be. Too many of us live life in the vacuum of a lie. Things happening around us and to us, and yet the denial continues, time and time again. Always pointing the finger at another. Yes, kinda painful, but it’s one of the many universal truths.

Remember: If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. Wayne Dyer

In my last newsletter, I wrote the following and it was amazing the responses I received:

‘So here we are two weeks later after my last newsletter and things just keep getting better and better. I will be updating my inspirational blog, Emotions in Transit shortly to share with you something quite personal. Basically about my journey of love. Love of self? You may well ask? Well yes but also how I identified how I have shut men out of my life for a long time now, because of my fear of rejection, a fear which was embedded so deeply, not even I could heal it. Yet by recognizing what I was doing and the act itself of almost self-sabotage, I’m now in a wonderful place to fully open up to my divine partner, who is already on the horizon and he is everything this gal could ever desire. Yet I had to go on a personal journey of further self-discovery, praying and meditating and asking the universe to send people my way to help me heal me more what I could not touch. The first point in really moving forward many years ago was to stop pointing the finger outwards and to look at what was going on with me. The second was to deal with stuff from my childhood…heavy stuff..not really – could’ve been, but it was more of a relief for me.’

It was interesting to see the responses I received from many people, about that brief piece I wrote and I thank all of you for your messages. It was also interesting how many people still didn’t quite get it. People sent emails congratulating me on my new relationship and saying they were glad that I had found happiness. But I wanted to scream ‘don’t you get it?’

What I wrote above was very much about me identifying what I needed to do in order to manifest the best relationship for me. I have already met this person in my dreams and vision. Remember everything we experience starts first in the mind, through thought. We are the sum of our thoughts – Napoleon Hill. What I wrote about was about me doing the work on me, dealing with any baggage, any thoughts or habits that were not conducive to attracting the right person for and to me. For me it is about getting n touch with my soul, that place of unconditional love, that place of peace. This can only be attained through prayer and meditation and focusing on the self.

You see, we live in such a shallow and materialistic society where being in a state of contentedness and happiness is always dependent upon external things validating and defining who we are. Whether that be through drink, food, the type of shop we buy our food or clothes from, the designer label on our clothes, the car we drive the area we live in, the people we associate with – otherwise it seems, we are of no use in society, we have no standing!! If someone is happy it is usually attributed to something else outside of them, yet the true reality is that true contentedness and happiness comes from within, from the experience we engage and embrace in with our soul, and then everything else around us is a bonus.

Yes at times I do have my highs and lows, especially of late, (as I am a bit of a workaholic and it would be so nice to be swept off my feet on occasion, but I am not prepared to compromise to settle for any less than what I deserve so the work has to be done on me) because sometimes this journey is lonely. But on the whole, I love my life and have learned to be grateful for everything and everyone who has ever graced my life, because there is and has been learning in every situation, circumstance and relationship.

When I conduct talks, I like to use this analogy of the Tsunami and what happened a few years ago. If everything were to be swept away from us, could we still stand on our own two feet, proud, tall and dignified and still say “I am……..” The reality is that not many people could . Think about this …who would you be without your brand new sports car? Who would you be if you were not wearing Gucci? Who would you be without your make-up? Who would you be if you did not associate with professionals and academics? Who would you be if you were the man underneath a cardboard box, every night on the pavement with nothing but a penny to his name?
So my initial piece in the newsletter was merely to say that I have been and am always working on Me. Pointing the finger away from me, using should’ve, would’ve and could’ve is no longer acceptable.

I have and had to take personal responsibility for me so that when this person does enter my life it will be same energy attracting like and because I know I deserve the best possible person ever I have to truly honor and respect who I am and know that this will be received. In the same vein for whoever it is who will grace my path, that mutual respect will be reciprocated and given. Do unto others as you would have done unto you. We are a reflection of our relationships, so therefore do we not deserve the best?

I leave you with much love and light and encourage you to begin or continue on your journey. It is not always easy, life never is, but there are tools, knowledge and a body of awareness and consciousness to help smooth that bumpy ride for you. We all go through tough and rough times, its standard really, so rather than playing the victim and wishing you had a better childhood or upbringing, relationship or whatever it is, realize that you have the gift of life, you have the gift of awareness, you have the gift of choice to change your life around at any moment in time and you have the choice to get to know you and experience you so that you can experience the absolute best in life – now that is what I call freedom.

But then how do you change something you are not aware of?????? That is for my next update…until then…………………….

Quotes by Esther Austin on Fear

'If we fear our past, then our present is defined as such and we can never fully experience the abundance and joy that the future can present. Nor can we fully experience and enjoy that new moment which the present can put into place for our future, because our future is still in our past'


'Letting go is easier said than done. The defining moment of letting go of old habits, thoughts, perceptions is in the experiencing of your new reality as that, a new beginning, a transformative change. And in the space one can enjoy a different meaning to life'


'Once you leave the past behind, you open up the gift of many wonderful possibilities. Rather than to experience experiences as you may have done, and see the world through the filters of past experiences and pain, you will experience what is present as it is, allowing the newness of something new, neither defined by perception or the past to cloud your judgment'

Esther Austin

Are You a True Leader of Inspiration or Just Talk? Competing with Others or Genuine and Authentic with You?

Dear All

Today I would like to speak about something that I feel is extremely important, something which I have touched upon on several occasions actually. But this message is more for those who purport to be leaders, spiritual gurus, empowering and inspiring the lives of others. The message here today is simply this – we need to be real and authentic about who we are. Because if we do not allow ourselves to get this right, the universe and God will shift something very dynamic and powerful into place to put us back in alignment, an din this process our pain will be great.

For those of us who stand on a platform empowering , reaching out to others, healing, playing the host of all that is honorable and authentic with all the bolshy ‘empowerment talk’ whilst in their heart of hearts whether unconsciously or consciously hold the devil’s pitch fork in their hands, smiling. Remember in that smile the whiteness and witness of your soul will reflect back against that pitchfork and in that moment you will see your reflection shining back at you. Whether you like what is there or not, will depend upon how authentic you really are otherwise taking time out to deal with what is reflected back could be a good idea? I have had to do this many times otherwise, I would not be who I am today and believe me at times, it’s been painful.

Remember: We are energy, we are touching peoples lives, energy transmits, transforms – can we, as leaders, movers and shakers allow ourselves to hinder someone else’s growth by deeds which do not serve the greater good of mankind?

There can only be one truth about this whole empowerment game, that if we are not in alignment with our true selves, it makes no difference whether we are well-known, renown, celebrity, old school, new school, has been, soon-to-be, if we are not in alignment with our true self and not in a position to deal with issues and negative feelings such as:

Begrudging someone else for what they have;
Feeling the need to compete;
Feeling resentful for what someone else has created or has;
(Remember the 10 Commandments)

then we need to stand down NOW, face that side of us we may not be so appealing but yet which is REAL, accept those feelings, acquaint ourselves with those feelings, work through these feelings and then heal them and then stand in our power of integrity and say this is where I was, but I did something about it and now look at where I am. Simple, real. It is in our honesty that we can see the beauty in our weaknesses and work to give them strength through healing. Yet also the beauty of how energy operates – always back to you, whatever you think about becomes your reality.

If we allow ourselves to truly humble our carcasses and allow our God, the universe to work through us, then there CAN NEVER BE any room for any negative thought nor deed to inhabit our lives and if they do then we have to deal with it.


This journey of self-development is NOT A GAME. We cannot hide behind the mask of an organization regardless of global status, or behind our Leaders no matter how huge or dynamic he or she is in the world, or behind words which speak of ‘love, peace, joy, harmony, TRUTH, inspiration and empowerment’ because if the truth be told, those in positions of leadership have a responsibility to themselves first and foremost to clean up the inside of the self, to work on the self and in that space to honor yourself. Yet more importantly you start to honour mankind as well. Being human, there will obviously be times when negative feelings will surface and that’s ok because it is all part of life’s learning but the beauty is in being open to recognize the feeling, accept the feeling and heal it as soon as is possible.

There used to be a saying in the old westerns that ‘white man speak with forked tongue.’ This message was often delivered by an Indian who had stood for as long as it took, just observing, standing in his own space of authenticity and honesty, quietly observing not just what was said verbally but observing body language, movement, even thoughts, actions and most of all man’s presence and spirit. Much can be discerned by presence alone and remember Truth always knows.


We fool ourselves often trying to present what we are not. We fall into the trap of wearing a mask and thinking that by smiling in someone’s face that smile will blind another to a reality which many would want to remain hidden. Let’s get real people, it doesn’t work.

If we truly understand the power of love, if we truly respected the power of love, but if we truly respected that within this privileged role of touching people’s lives whether through our words, hands, books – whatever we are transmitting energy, and we must be as pure as possible. Love gives and does not take away and how can you truly give as a leader, mover and shaker if you do not have all that is required inside.

And lets not keep things twisted any longer neither. Because someone tells you you are wonderful, dynamic, the best leader since Ghandi, do take pride in honoring that because you are all these wonderful things. Yet don’t let someone else’s words blind you to what may be simmering below. Be careful not to use these expressions of compliments to create a veil over what You know you truly need to do. If there is healing that needs to take place, heal. It’s not a bad thing, its not a negative, it just is, its present, its real and therefore needs to be addressed.

The reality, if you are not in authentic space and are not fully honoring you… please stand off your platform for a while and adjust that little man or woman on your shoulder called ego, speak to it, send it love and then put it back in the box where it belongs and then be strong and bold enough to get back on that platform.

Others will respect you more for this - because being able to face who you truly are in that mirror of truth is one of the hardest things anyone can do. I know, I have been there many times myself but the beautiful of life is that you can always start afresh from that moment on and when you do stand on that platform, you can say with integrity that yes, I used to be there, I used to do those things, but I have worked hard on myself and allowed God to work through me and here I am today.

AND REMEMBER THERE IS ENOUGH IN THIS UNIVERSE TO GO AROUND FOR EVERYONE – EVEN YOU

“If we were more aware of our own shadow, we would not be afraid to look in the mirror’
Esther Austin

Angels and Snakes - Are You begruding Another?

Welcome Dear Readers

Over the past few months many incredible things have happened to me. Some of these experiences have been wonderful whilst others have been painful. Yet they have all served me a purpose to learn, to evaluate myself, my actions, my interaction with others. Many of these experiences, I could've used to either empower or dis-empower myself remembering always that we always have a choice and everything happens in life for a reason. Therefore I can learn to embrace these experiences more honestly and authentically and look at the lessons I can learn from them or I could harbor them in my heart like a wrench. Remember pain often means growth and is not a bad thing to experience.

I have experienced the most wonderful and dynamic people into my life and continue to do so. People who can stand in their own strength of honesty and authenticity who do not feel threatened by anyone or anything. People who have worked hard on themselves, often facing that mirror of truth and dealing with what they see there. This is not an easy path to ride, for I too have had to face that mirror often. Yet for me, one of the most profound moments of realization as I fulfill and achieve my life’s mission is the space many people share holding the hands of dishonesty and envy and I have had to protect and close my circle tightly, as the universe shifts people out of my space for this reason.

Yet for many who are at the top or working their way there, or who simply have a vision this has been an experience for them as well, yet it serves to propel those of us forward with more determination and tenacity and more importantly, it truly tests our sense of self and our belief in the power of infinite love and when we understand this from the heart and not the head - then we can understand the power of just letting go and leaving these experiences to the universe and God knowing that whatever lessons we all need to learn will be dealt to us.

Over the past four years, I have worked hard on me and in creating my business, trying to clear out the debris within me, in order for the truth and clarity of life to open up within and to me. Yes I have made mistakes, I have often gone around in circles chasing my tail. I have often had to humble myself and apologise for words spoken harshly or inappropriately. Yet I have had to learn to put my hand up and take responsibility for my own actions. Always remembering my favourite quote by Ghandi “Be the Change you want to see in the world.” This therefore empowered me to take responsibility for me, for my actions, for my words, my thoughts and my deeds and in doing so has cleared the way for me to become extremely intuitive, empowering my spirit of discernment to guide me and ultimately protect me from walking blind into situations which would certainly sabotage myself and my efforts on this wonderful journey. I often say that if you speak dishonesty to me, I will know, but this has come from years of me taking my own self apart, and dealing with my own negative stuff, to fully understand who I am from a place of truth.

This spiritual pathway like any other pathway can be treacherous at times. Movement is about progression is it not? Moving from one space in life to another and hopefully that process means moving to a better place. Growth. Often times, we remain in a static place, looking on from the outside of our lives, peering at what other people are doing, pointing the finger at everyone else but ourselves. Often competing against others with the intention to cause pain, allowing anger, resentment, hatred, envy, jealousy to motivate our every move and with these sidekicks as motivation – the ultimate outcome can only be failure. The reality, therefore, is that following this path will only reflect back into your life and the life of your children, family, friends, experiences and this then becomes a perpetuating cycle even a generation cycle.

We are all unique individuals, blessed with unique gifts and talents. We all have the capacity to do, create and be whoever and whatever we want.

My inspiration for my business have been other successful and wonderful individuals. I didn’t see them as competition nor a threat but as inspiration to enable me to follow my dream. My intention and passion has always been to set up something which would touch and empower lives and along the way I have had to make some executive decisions based on what my spirit of discernment revealed to me. Individuals who wanted to be part of my projects and business who presented what they thought an “honest front” yet their spirit were devious with illusions of monetary gain and dishonesty and yes I am open enough to say this publicly.

What must always be mindful in recognising and fully understanding what is our purpose and intention in everything we do. There is a greater source out there, God, the Universe, Buddah whoever is your higher source and what you do behind closed doors that you feel cannot be seen, has already been noted. Learning to be honest and authentic with ourselves first and foremost is hard, but a must. As we learn more about who we are and work on discarding negative entities within us, then whatever we put our hand to can only materialize into the most positive of endeavors. We must be mindful of the intention behind our every action. Remember, our lives reflect our inner spirit and heart so whether we face the outside world with a smile and with dishonest intention in our hearts this will reflect within our lives.

So with this in mind, I sincerely wish you all well. Follow your own path. There is enough room throughout the universe for us all to follow our dreams, to create and be successful. But we must understand our purpose and be mindful of our every intention.

“If we were more aware of our own shadow, we would not fear to look in the mirror”
Esther Austin

No Man is An Island

We can never become what we truly wish to become
Standing alone on our own islands
Alone
Devised and created by ourselves, or so our ego thinks
Bemused and fooled we simply fall
Into this enticingly torrid trap
Thinking we need to hold the fortress of our lives
Alone
Like shoulders leaning into and against the doors of our bastions
Ready to take on the world
Waiting for life’s cannon to hurl its iron ball
Into our very hearts
And within the confines of our reality
Our bastions and monuments
Are sheathed in our own blood, sweat and tears
Our own heartache sears to the very depths of our soul
exploding into a thousand shards of pain, hurt, anger and FEAR
yet the answer is simple, is it not?
the only complication is to put into action what we truly know
but which we have denied ourselves of, from the beginning of time
the answer my dear friends is to trust in you
to trust in your God, the Universe, the Great I am, your Higher Source
And allow you to lean back into the arms of that spiritual cocoon
Which nurtures, guides, protects and comforts
Supports, loves, understands and holds
Unless man’s spirit has died within the womb of hope
No man is an island, Man cannot stand alone

Esther Austin All Rights Reserved 13th July 2009

QUOTES TO EMPOWER YOUR LIFE

"And as we battle with our self, we battle with our light, diminishing our world into seeds of doubt, bitterness and fear. For as we create this storm within us, we die daily and love fails to touch our very soul, our love fails to reach out to others. Yet within a moments grace, we can allow ourselves to embrace life, to enjoy life, to enjoy who we are. Within a moment, the transition from pain and heartache into peace and love can be acquired. We just have to learn to let go, we just have to learn to be honest and authentic with who we truly are, we just need to learn to walk our talk and the universe will smile down upon us with a generous helping of love and light." Esther Austin


'Once we fail to love ourselves, we fail to live' Esther Austin


'Be mindful of those we teach. Be mindful of those we purport to reach out to and touch. For they know. They watch us daily. We become their source of light and love. We become their anchor, their strength, their hope. Be mindful always to walk your talk. For they know and they watch us daily. Honesty with self first brings much enlightenment.' Esther Austin

“When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.” Jimi Hendrix


“I will greet this day with love in my heart. For this is the greatest secret of success in all ventures. Muscles can split a shield and even destroy life itself but only the unseen power of love can open the hearts of man. And until I master this act I will remain no more than a peddler in the marketplace. I will make love my greatest weapon and none on who I call can defend upon its force... my love will melt all hearts liken to the sun whose rays soften the coldest day.” Og Mandino

Quotes about the self by Esther

A few quotes that came to me, peeps, which is a reflection of where I have just journeyed from and the path I still am on. They reflect my learning as part of my journey. Enjoy

"Isn't it a wonderful thing to realise, that in giving ourself the chance to love ourself, and expect only the best for ourself, surely we can deserve the absolute best from everything that life has to offer us. All we need to do is to say "yes" , "thank you" and trust our higher source that it is so.

"If we desire honour, respect, love and integrity to flow through our lives and relationships then we must hold up a mirror in front of us - and hopefully our wishes will have already been granted for in the reflection of the self is our world."


"Deception is to smile in the face of another, speaking words which fade into dust whilst the devil perches in your heart. But know this, wisdom always knows, so more fool you"

BE AUTHENTIC WITH YOU - YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOOSE BUT ALL TO GAIN

Dear All

I have just uploaded a new audio recording on the Time to Share section on Qarma Broadcast http://www.qarmabroadcast.co.uk/6.html. This is something that has been on my spirit for the past two weeks and which came very strongly came to me again today.

The item is for all of us, and more importantly those who stand on a platform of leadership, and teaching etc. The simple message here is that when we operate from a place of inauthenticity, when we choose to ignore our own pain, our emptyness, our fears, then how can we empower and reach out to those we think we love, if we do not have those qualities inside of us? Yet it is ok to be in a place of fear for a while, because this pain tells us that there is something we need to deal with.

How can we truly reach out with and in the abundance of who we truly are and touch people's lives 100%, not just 50% but 100% if our own hearts are empty, in pain and full of fear. Surely we need to realise that we deserve to be loved and to love unconditionally and that we can have it all, yet we just need to trust and walk in our own truth. Would we not then be able to live life more abundantly? I have travelled this path of fear for a while myself and it was uncomfortable to say the least and I had to choose to step out of this space into a better space because the pain did become too much too bear.

So many of us as leaders, stand on a platform where we are idolised, where love from our fans can become mixed up with desire, awe - all coming from the place of the ego. Believe me on this - desire is fickle - a trickle of flights of fantasy lasting for only a brief moment in time, empty, void of any real depth, detached from reality and truth. Yet love - love is unity, togetherness, understanding, respect, nurturing, honesty, authenticity. Love is truth. Spirituality is about love, honesty and authenticity, period - and if it is something else to you - then I would like to suggest that take a step back and check the road you have just trod. I have had to do this many time myself - reflecting, analysing who I was at any given moment in time, especially when pain became my indicator that I was not operating as I should.

I have trod my path of pain believe me. When I lost my younger sister to breast cancer two years ago, and then found out my partner had had an affair with two women, my pain was so bad I could not cry and then I shut down for two years - but in my heart there was always hope that oneday I would find love again and I deserved to be loved and I wanted to love, because I have so much to give. Yet I realise I had to experience everything in my life because there were lessons for me to learn. these lessons have served me well, because of where I now stand.

To this day I still believe in the sanctity of true and passionate love and I know I will find that which I have asked for because I have worked on me, I chose to face that mirror of truth and deal with ME, my pain, my blocks, my resentment, my inpure thoughts. It's not easy to do this self analysis and correction, but you know what - if I plan to stand up in front of thousands of people empowering, inspiring and teaching, then I had better walk my talk and people who know me, know that I will always hold my hand up if I am wrong, if I need to deal with ME, but more importantly, I do know longer need others to validate who I am and to stroke my ego by being dishonest about who I am. I can now stand on my own and claim that I AM THAT I AM. I have learned to love me once again and to allow myself to embrace all the wonderful possibilities in life that God has given to me, within the universal flow of love, light and abundance.

I just felt I needed to share this with my global community, and I hope we can support and encourage each other on this journey called life and to know that there is always another day in which we can change the direction of our life and that FEAR has no place in our lives.

Remember I love you all, because I now can, because after 43 years - I have finally learned to truly love me - can you not now see the sun shining from within my soul - I can - finally.

Much love to you all and keep on supporting Qarma Broadcast, http://www.qarmabroadcast.co.uk - your online inspirational and spiritual radio station.

Know thyself and you Can know Everything

Beyond this expanse of eternity
I stand alone
Solitude my companion
Lonely, never for I am complete as I am

Beyond this expanse of eternity
I watch my thoughts
Cascade down through my mind
Interpretation no longer needs
To lend itself to me

For my spirit, this ancient soul of souls
Has searched for wisdom
From the time life breathed fire
Into this world
Experience has carved me into being
My existence defined by the paths I have trod
from the roads I have walked
from the sacrifices made and the many lessons learned
In many lives and places have I lived
Spanning the sands of time and oceans of eternity
And now I stand on the pinnacle of enlightenment
The sense of “knowing” sits firm within my being
Because I have journeyed this land
Even before time existed

Oh, yes, I know, oh how, I know
Many, many things
I have seen much and captured much within my heart
I have heard much and captured much within my heart
I have felt much and captured much within my heart
I have experienced joy like the creation within womb of a child
I have experienced pain, like the thorns which pierced Jesus’ brow
Or the shackles of mind, body and soul which kept many a people down
So therefore, how could I not attain enlightenment
Without experiencing the world through the eyes of my soul
Until this sense of knowing, became embedded within my psyche

Beyond this expanse of eternity
I stand alone
Solitude my companion
Reflecting through life, with me
Gathering knowledge and wisdom
Embedding it within my heart

So yes, I know,
I just simply know everything
Or Do I?

Esther Austin© All Rights Reserved 15 May 2009

Visions of Expression

Visions of expression sit within the mind
now let them wait patiently
in the corner of tomorrow
until your peace suspends you
surrenders you
into the timelessness of space
as your thoughts drift out into
the horizon


Esther Austin

Celebrating the True Energy of Time

Time, an elusive enigma. Always in control of even the very breath that escapes from our soul.

Time a constant in our lives, emerging as the flow and continuum of our existence. We have all become dependent upon this miraculous power, aligning our lives against its directing. The watch on wrists, a constant reminder through furtive and regular glances that we have allowed ourselves to become accountable to the tenuous grasp and control that this elusive element reigns over us.

Clocks perch precariously in positions or where we have no choice but to adhere to their domineering presence – rule our day. Like production lines we regulate our lives around them. Invisible infrastructures, constantly framing our days within the dimensions of the tick, tock, tick, tock. We condemn our lives often by the rule of the clock, our mis-perceived idea of what we think time really is, which is not the rule of time because time offers us a freeness of spirit and presence which we do not often recognise. Time is a liberator. Paradoxically, it is free in the space of a limitless forever. Yet we have chained this freedom time offers, wrapping it up amongst rush, hurry, deadlines, urgency. Clocks and watches, mobile phones dictate to us, never allowing us to enjoy this very moment.

Everywhere we go, like rats in a cage, we are confronted by the glaring reality that traps us into conformity. Believing we need to march against the constant strike of the year, month, week, day, hour, second. Believing we need to march against the constant and unrepentant movement of time.

Yet if we chose to we could ignore the dilemmas and impositions we allow our mental restriction on time to do to us. We could choose to liberate our minds, our spirits and souls. We could choose to allow the gentler hands of time to guide us subtly, joyously, contentedly through life, enabling us to enjoy and appreciate the scenery of life along the way. Allowing us to never miss even the smallest of moments which makes life worth existing for. Those moments which are often lost as we race against the hands of the clock. We could allow the caress of experience to add to our awareness and finally enlightenment as we become more aware of the beauty that surrounds us which would then help us to experience our spiritual journey even more.

Therefore, as with anything in life, it is about choice. We can allow the rigid hands of technology, a prodigy of time itself to rule our world or we can experience the beauty and wonder and sense of freedom within our souls, to ride upon the crest of time itself, which is eternal.

Are you ready to enjoy more of the essence of life? Take a day off from your watch, the clock, the demands of your mobile. Try and take time off from the daily rigmarole and experience the freedom that you will allow time to offer you. And in this process, experience a whole new and wonderful world of being in the present, in the moment.

TRUTH

What is truth?
the understanding for which can only be found
within our very soul

What resonates within you
within your inner peace
that is if you have any peace at all?

For truth can only be gained
And felt through the psyche

Borne through life’s copious journeying
A cacophony of experiences
Sometimes seen as good
Sometimes seen as bad
Yet all part of life’s role play
Staged sometimes with splendid effect
Other-times, with more subtle and gentle presence
Sometimes joyful, often times etched in pain
Yet these are all emblems which make up your truth

Experiences which hone and shape the person
You are
Experiences which sometimes have laid your soul bare
And exposed, raw to pain, anger, negativity’s soldiers
Other times, experiences which have had you
Dancing on the wings of an eagle, freely
Gliding on the wings of love’s finest abundance
Therefore your truth can only come from within
The source of who you truly are

Therefore, embrace the whole of you
Lovingly get to know the whole of you
Face your soul in that mirror which exposes all
And faithfully deal with what you see
Looking humbly back at you
And you will manifest
Your truth

All rights reserved© Esther Austin 15th April 2009

MY VOLUNTEER VISIT TO THE CAMEROON, THE CHALLENGES, THE SUCCESSES - FEBRUARY 2009

Well ladies and gents

Before I proceed, often times we see experiences which challenge us as negatives, falling in the self-pity trap of “why me?” Yet, looking back at those experiences you must understand that they are there to serve us for a purpose, for the greater good. Generally that purpose is for us to learn something about ourselves and the part we played in that scenario.

There were a sequence of events prior to me going to the Cameroon and whilst in the Cameroon which truly tested my resolve.
resolve.

Prior to leaving for the Cameroon in February 2009, I had to attend several meetings with the African Foundation Stone to go through preliminaries. On both occasions I got lost and turned up an hour late for my appointments. On another occasion, I had to cancel my meeting at the last minute. Then on the day of departure my plane was delayed for two hours. When I finally got on the plane, I sat next to an elderly woman. At this point in time, I had a book and my MP3 in my hand. For the next 20 minutes this women was gesticulating in French. She then called an air-hostess over who tried to calm the woman down. People around were now getting agitated as this woman continued her tirade. I was totally oblivious to what was going on because the conversation was being conducted in French. Then a lady behind me tapped me and told me to swap seats with a gentleman by her side explaining that the woman was complaining about my MP3. I was confused as I had not turned on the MP3, but this woman was certain that I would be playing loud music, so I moved. But what a blessing, as the woman I moved next to was a French Cameroonian who ran a women’s organisation in France. We were able to laugh and converse, rather limited, but converse none-the-less in French and have made a wonderful connection with each other.

The next incident to occur was when I touched down in the Cameroon, I was helped by a porter to take my luggage outside the airport building. I had expected to see a placard with my name on it, but there was none and I had no way of identifying the person who was to pick me up. I then spent the next hour or two at the airport, walking around looking for my host organisation. I tried several times to call the hotel - no answer. After asking my spirit for guidance, I decided to get a taxi to the hotel. The porter said he knew someone and summoned a taxi for me. I got into a taxi with two strange men, in a strange country. As I entered the taxi my practical side briefly said, do you know what you are doing. Yet my spiritual side told me “you are protected, you are safe.”

Half an hour later I arrived at the hotel only to be told that there was no booking for me and that the hotel did not have any spare rooms. I then spent the next 40 minutes trying to make contact with the various numbers I had - no answer. Meanwhile, the porter was harassing me for money, which he had greatly inflated and also the offer that he knew somewhere where I could stay for the night. At this moment in time I had been quite calm, but now I had started to stress a little. My spirit was now telling me to call Mr.P Archer, who always tracks me when I travel and makes contact to make sure I arrive safely. I was able to make a phone call to him, telling him where I was and apparently he had made contact with the host who had been looking for me at the airport but she did not know what I looked like and did not have a placard. By the time I finished the call, the rest of the volunteers and host organisation had turned up at the hotel. Apparently there had been a mix up regarding the bookings.

That night, though, we all went out to dinner and had a fabulous meal of fish and plantain, eating with our hands and relaxing. The next morning I was told I would be picked up at 9am. I sat for the next 4 hours waiting. In between that time, I was chewing on some nuts from Holland and Barratt and all of a sudden my back tooth cracked. By this time, I quietly smiled to myself and asked my spirit what was the learning for me from all these experiences. I was able to spend those 4 hours reflecting, meditating and praying on all that had happened. I then decided to read a book I had been given about Reiki and the amazing thing was that everything I had experienced, was confirmed in that book.

The organisation I was due to work with were not available for me as the Director had a seminar to attend all that week, therefore I requested to visit other women’s organisations and then had the opportunity to form a wonderful bond and friendship with many of the young men on the street, especially a young man called Diesel. I was able to walk the streets of Douala and get grassroots experience of how they live their lives. I was able to visit where they sleep and also interview many of them about their dreams, hopes and aspirations. I ventured into territory that would be considered dangerous for a woman, but I always prayed beforehand and knew in my heart I was safe, but I had come to the Cameroon for a purpose and at all costs was going to fulfil that.

A series of further events took place over the next week which had myself and Lorna saying “there is a greater purpose from all of this.” When I was asked by the Reverend Lorna Beckford, on my last day who too was a volunteer at the time, what was I able to take away from all my experiences and challenges? I told her, the challenges that had been placed before me had been put there to test my resolve to the limit and I did this dignified, calmly, silent and strong. Yet I could only accomplish this state through the meditation and prayer I had been doing.

To-date though I have accomplished so much from that trip. I was touched by the hospitality and positive attitude of the Cameroonians, even those on the street still have hope. When I compare this attitude to what I see over here in the UK, we certainly have many lessons to learn. I will be going back to the Cameroon shortly to work with the men on the street, with the Reverend Lorna Beckford, the experiences I had out there in February can be fed back into my workshops and talks to great effect. I also learned much about myself. Yet most of all what I found really profound is that the Cameroonians have this sense of purpose, drive. They are entrepreneurs, always with hope in their hearts and for even though who do not have much in the material sense, what they have is priceless because they value life and they value friendships and have a sense of unity and pride.

This serves for us as lessons for all of us to be grateful for what we have. Those I worked with had nothing, often times just the shirts on their backs, yet they had a smile and spoke of hope and had dreams and aspirations for their future. Young men who sometimes only had one piece of bread to eat during the day. Whilst many people aspire for the latest piece of technology, the latest designer purchase, the most expensive purchase - do these things really define who you are?

Remember: Wealth is not only money and material things, wealth is your health, your relationships, your values, everything that makes you happy inside. But wealth defines who you truly are on a soul level. If everything were to be stripped away from you right now – would your car define who you are or could the strength of your soul still remain standing, strong and dignified?

You will be able to hear recorded interviews from the trip on: http://www.qarmabroadcast.co.uk

My Constant Journey of Being

“To travel is to free the mind, will and spirit empowering you to experience freedom of expression and thought which then liberates the soul” Esther Austin

My visit to the Cameroon as a volunteer, Sunday 22nd February to Sunday 1st March 2009, has empowered me on many different levels. Touching down on Sunday evening, I sensed a calmness, a unity a warmth from the land and the people within. As the days have progressed this warmth and sense of contentment obviously resonates from the energy of this people, even amidst poverty. Poverty, abject poverty and yet the spirit of entrepreneurship prevailed everywhere. The reality for many was that if they did not find some way, any way to make some money, they would not be able to eat, their children would not be able to go to school. I spent time on the streets with street children, whose stories, I will shortly be sharing with you, so watch this space. I also recorded several interviews which will be on Qarma Broadcast, very soon.

Therefore, I have observed and asked the question what has caused this shift to take place in me once again. A learning, a growing, an understanding? What has caused a depth of reflection to take place that has once again awakened within me the need to “be” and “do” now more than ever before. The burdening drive to just get up and go to follow my divine purpose in reaching out, inspiring and empowering with the messages that I need to deliver.

The anticipated urge to lunge into the unknown, or should I say to lunge gracefully into just “doing” what I am already doing, settled in the knowledge that all is well and that the time for whatever I am about, is now. Recognising that the only time we all have is in the here and now. Dreaming about the future, may never manifest itself, yet to be able to dream, anyway is a most wonderful thing. Yet here I am, in the here and now and God has created the space for me to do what is necessary at this time and place, so therefore the only thing really stopping me from accessing this and doing is any perceptions I have of limitation. The urge to start life afresh and anew, someplace else is very potent and strong. The urge to re-evaluate who I now am, or rather the realisation and awareness of knowing that I have changed/transformed once again is a wonderful place to be, because in this moment of learning, I transform my world and that which is around me.

I feel a strength of knowing inside of me, more serene, quieter yet stronger, now. This whole sense of “knowing” what is happening around me before it happens, knowing what someone will say before they open their mouth, understanding a sequence of events before the outcome has been deciphered, having a sense of linking with destiny so that when anything happens, it has already happened. Prior to this trip I dipped in and out of this place of “knowing” often, yet this week I have been living in this level and space of constant higher consciousness and awareness. Yet to be in this place and space, I chose to look at certain aspects of myself that needed to be trimmed and honed more. Aspects of me which I had to tidy up, put back in place, in order to allow me to be fully present, authentically and honesty. Therefore, the more I open myself up to the spirit of authenticity, the more I cleanse and detox, the more I allow myself to be constantly guided and led by God and all universal elements, the more I fall into the true me allows me therefore to experience life and its wonderful abundance more and more.

So, as always, I urge you not to be afraid to look into the mirror and face truth. It may prove to be painful, if only for a short while. You may certainly not like what you see staring back at you. Yet the reality of who we are is that we have many dimensions and facets, all part of who we are in totality and all which should be acknowledged. When you can define yourself as being truly you, when you can stand and say powerfully that “I AM”, when you allow yourself to fall into God’s hands (or into the universal flow or your higher source, whoever you believe in) when you allow this to happen and allow this source to guide you – you can only walk into the abundance that life has in store for you.

And on that note, I must leave you with “I AM, THAT I AM”

So therefore…….Bon Voyage, as you journey through life

A FRANK AND HONEST ACCOUNT OF MY OWN EMOTIONAL STRUGGLE

Hello Everyone

I am choosing to open up to you today with a truth which many of you may resonate with. Being on this wonderful spiritual journey has certainly been an interesting and eclectic mix of ups and downs, travelling along mountains and valleys, but these challenges have honed me into who I am now and also for the work ahead of me which I have to do.

Over the past month or so, I have been struggling with feelings regarding a relative of mine. I found this person to be selfish and wrapped up in their own world of “self”. There was an incident in November, where I allowed my “ego” to take over. I allowed myself to become consumed with anger and needless to say, I had to get down on my knees and humbly ask God to forgive a few words that proceeded out of my mouth as I verbally battled with this person.

For a long time after that I refused to have anything much to do with her, yet my spirit was not settled. Time after time my spirit questioned me about looking at this situation from the spiritual side, looking at myself and asking me to be careful because I was standing on the platform advocating love, peace etc and inspiring others,. Obviously, I did not want to recognise this as I wanted to hold onto what this person was doing as my own personal crutch to gossip and own bad thoughts. Yet, because my spirit guides me often and also acts as my Jiminy cricket (my conscious), I had to relent, looking inside of me to reflect on what I was doing. I also remember around that time, I was reading “The Essence of Buddha, The Path to Enlightenment by Ryuho Okawa a wonderful book which talks much about the state of being, the purity of being and walking on the path of enlightenment. I felt a bit of a hypocrite, I can tell you because at that moment in time, I knew I was not practising what I was preaching.

Yet I struggled to deal with letting go of the resentment and anger that had built up in me. I meditated more, I prayed more and I literally had to go deep within myself in order to let go of these feelings, which were not serving me at all. The more I complained about this individual, the more uncomfortable I felt in my own spirit, and the more I held onto how I was feeling was the more I complained. Therefore because I was not walking in my own truth which was to address ME and how I needed to nurture myself with unconditional love and forgiveness how could I ever learn to forgive and accept this person for who they were at that moment in time?

There is a saying that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear and I had to learn that whatever this person had to learn, she would do so when the time was right and myself included. It was certainly not up to me to be making judgements. So in the process of learning to deal with, to heal and to be mature about the situation, I contacted this individual and calmly and respectfully spoke to her about anything and nothing in general. I did this on several occasions and now we laugh and speak quite well again and I no longer feel the animosity I initially did towards her. Yet it took time for me to learn to let go. I had to work through my own take and perception of the situation and realise that I had to let go of any expectations I had of her.
Yet, I feel I have still missed the true essence of being authentic in that, in order to fully restore what must be, it is for me to tell this person that “I love you.” It is not about whether this person would receive this act or not, but it is because I needed to do it.

Life is a funny thing, is it not? We all struggle from time to time with many things that we allow to burden us and yet the most simple thing it seems, and in reality it is not as simple as it could be, is that often times it is to deal with the self first and then others around you will shift in accordance.

I feel so much better now. The more I grow along this spiritual pathway is the more I am less tolerant of myself not walking in my truth and in fact, my spirit does not do very well if I slide off the pathway, even for one minute. It becomes restless and when I start to complain, moan and criticise then I know it is time for me to shut myself away and re-align who I am through solitude, prayer and meditation.

Yet I realise life is an ever evolving door of challenges, and as we grow into who we are, we are able to deal with life in a more comfortable way, hopefully and the learning is certainly worth the pain because it then enables us to move forward in a different direction if necessary.

More About The Journey and Importance of Discovering The Self

From a distance the world looks so clear and bright, innocent in its clarity. Light from beyond a time when the concept of life was still being conceived, striking strong in the firmament, fresh, new, a birthing of one of creation’s master piece. Yet when one takes a closer look through the microscope of reality, the present here and now, the illusion of life begins to unfold. Within those tiny atoms which only the spiritual eye can see, life meanders by, on a journey full of adventure and mysterious liaisons, sometimes even deceitful and painful but all for our tasting and experiencing.

So what is the essence of life in light of this most complex form of clarity? What is the essence and truth of what we see, how we perceive what we see and the understanding of what we perceive?

Is perception the parameter along which we align our truth and therefore our understanding of the world? Therefore, how do we know whether our perception of the reality of life is the truth? and that we are not following a path which is full of treachery and deceit and ultimately untruth?

Can the two lines between truth and untruth become blurred so readily and easily that the differentiation between both be so subtle that if judgement were to be passed the sentence of a man’s life could be life or death? Therefore, does it not stand to reason that as we travel along the spiritual highway, in the observance of life and self, we must be explicably honest with ourselves and the journey we make within our own selves? Painful yes, to face that mirror of truth which often reveals many demons silently and subtly feeding off our spirits and souls, keeping us chained within the dimensions of fear, pain, aggressiveness, bitterness and many more negative parasites.

Yet until we can take that painful walk within, starting the detoxification process of our own lives, then whatever way we reach out to others, cannot be from the ultimate spirit of unconditional love, truth, honesty and integrity. Realise this – you cannot give what you don’t have. Realise another truth – that unless we surrender to our higher purpose, God, the Universe, and learn to trust implicitly in that source, we cannot “be” all that we are meant to be.

Many people operate on a superficial and materialistic platform in the world which has become the normal way to operate. Yet, it cannot be effective within its true purpose and end result and unless you are serious about your spiritual walk, your endeavours will never be as fruitful as they can be, until you operate from the level of pure truth and only your spirit and soul and guidance from above can take you there.

Yet, realistically speaking, this journey is not an easy one. It can be challenging at the best of times, yet it is so rewarding. The learning and growth and understanding of self and life on an intimate realm is something that I can only wish you can one day experience. It all takes time, discipline, a zeal and zest to truly get to know who you are and to understand how you work. It is a path where you will climb many mountains, stumbling and falling along the way. Yet the beauty of this journey is that you will learn all you need to learn in order to become the person you are truly meant to be and the love that will encompass your heart will be one of the most awesome experiences of self.

So go on, this year become the person you were meant to be. Be honest with yourself and yet, be gentle. Walk your truth and walk your talk in honesty and integrity and let life unfold before you like a dream.

“If we were more aware of our own shadow, we would not be afraid to look in the mirror.” Esther Austin

Know Thyself

So here I am, New Year, New Start and already feeling fantastic. There is a sense of peace and knowing within me that permeates through every fibre of my being that this is the year. And yes, for starters I thought that for 2009, I should upgrade slightly and give myself a more professional look. So here I am, with brand new newsletter in tow.

So where do I start? Well it may be a little late in the day but I’m going to start by wishing you all a peaceful and abundant year. Why peaceful and abundance, go to my emotions in transit blogspot to find out more:

Why wishing you abundance? Because even amidst all the doom and gloom of recession etc, etc – we have at our fingertips an abundance of gifts and they are all FREE.

Why peaceful? Because I believe that at this moment in time, the world is going through much upheaval. It is not hard to ignore the constant barrage of Credit Crunch, House Prices, Job Cuts, War etc, etc. It is no surprise that people are now searching for something deeper to enhance their lives? Is it no wonder that a mass weariness and tiredness of just existing on the periphery of existence itself, day in day out have people looking for something deeper to experience in their lives? There has been a shifting of dimensions on the spiritual realm for a long time. An undercurrent of something major about to occur and the reality for many is that God, the Universe, the Higher Powers that Be will no longer wait for our excuses to glide from our mouths in terms of us not taking responsibility for our lives and experiences and ultimately not facing our own truth.

We can see the effects of that shifting before our very eyes and there are some profound messages in all of these dynamics.

I interviewed Hazel Oatey from The Energy Wizard on Monday and we had an incredible conversation which covered many things within the spiritual realm. One key topic matter that came up was the one of being our authentic selves, tapping into our truth and facing our demons in order to find the truth within.

As always with the old cliched "life is a journey" it simply is and cannot be described in any other way. Many people have reached places in their lives, in the here and now, because they have chosen to work towards being here. Many people have chosen to seek truth within themselves because they realise that there is a better more peaceful and harmonious way to live life and not just exist until the sweeping hands of death, gathers us up in his arms.

Finding our true authentic self takes times. We have to go on many journeys, along many pathways. Some of us, myself included, have had to touch the bottom of despair at times only to surface, painfully from the very seeds of the earth,growing along the way and hopefully learning too. This learning serves us in many ways. This learning should be a learning about who we are. This should be a time and place where we can evaluate who we are, reflect and analysis who we are so that we can aim to become a different and hopefully better person.

Yet, the reality for many is that they may never come to this awareness of realising that they need to face the mirror of truth. Yet one thing that came from my conversation with Hazel is that the way the Universe is shifting, many people will not have a choice.

Looking around us, we can see how the world is shifting at a very dynamic and profound pace and the messages of what needs to be learned are so very clear.

We now need to take back responsibility for who we are, for our lives. We can no longer afford to be reliant on the Government and anyway, why should they owe us anything?

Take note people and watch as this shift takes momentum. It is time for you to do whatever you feel is necessary to get to undress your authentic self and you will be so surprised at what you discover about yourself and what you experience in your life.

You want to talk about abundance? Well it is certainly there in front of your eyes to be experienced and enjoyed. But first of all, work on your truth and then you will be able to see these wonderful, free gifts. But just in case your curiosity gets the better of you, I'll let you take a peek anyway:

Love
Peace
Contentment
Happiness
Honesty and Integrity
Values

These are all free to every one of us, but how many of you can say you are truly rich in abundance when you do not even know yourself?