IF YOU THINK YOU CAN, YOU CAN

If you Think You Can, You Can!
You can be a total winner even if you're a beginner,
If you think you can, you can,
If you think you can, you can,
You can wear the gold medallion,
You can ride your own black stallion,
If you think you can, you can,
If you think you can, you can,
It's not your talent or the gift at birth,
It's not your bank book that determines worth,
And it isn't in the color of your skin,
It's your attitude that lets you win,
You can upset Connors or Austin,
Or win the marathon at Boston,
If you think you can, you can,
If you think you can, you can,
You can profit through inflation,
You can redirect this nation,
If you think you can, you can,
If you think you can, you can,
It doesn't matter if you've won before,
It makes no difference what's the half time score,
It's never over until the final gun,
So keep on trying and you'll find you've won,
You grab your dream and then believe it,
Go out and work and you'll achieve it,
If you think you can, you can,
If you think you can, you can!

~ Denis Waitley ~

YOU CAN IF YOU THINK YOU CAN

If you think you are beaten, you are,
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you like to win, but you think you can't,
It is almost certain you won't.
If you think you'll lose, you're lost,
For out in the world we find,
Success begins with a fellow's will.
It's all in the state of mind.
If you think you are outclassed, you are,
You've got to think high to rise,
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.
Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man.
But soon or late the man who wins,
Is the man who thinks he can.

~ C. W. Longenecker ~

Don't Make Resolutions go for Transformation

As the New Year draws to an end, I have been in a place of reflection and have been reflected upon as well. So many things have happened in a year that has sped by faster than I can dare to remember. The older I get, the more life seems to become a swirling mass of time, a cyclonic movement, a myriad of experiences towards something more tangible and greater than. For me life has been an exciting, interesting and insightful journey taking me to places where previously only my dreams existed. 2008 kicked in for me two weeks ago on that roller coaster of a ride which many people leave until 1st January has and is already taking me into a phenomenon place. The progression of another great journey towards an even bigger destination.

An online dictionary described the word journey as thus:

· “journey a traveling from one place to another, usually taking a rather long time; trip: a six-day journey across the desert.
· a distance, course, or area travelled or suitable for travelling: a desert journey”

So there we have it again, that word “journey” which is being and has being used and over-used time and time again. Yet its significance in terms of summing up life seems quite apt because on any journey, there will be ups and downs, experiences which we sometimes wish had never occurred and others which will be pleasantly steeped in our memories forever.

So I am wishing you all a truly wonderful and prosperous New Year where all your dreams can come true. So many people will be making New Year’ s resolutions. Many will follow through, yet most, will falter by the end of the month, regressing back into old ways, thoughts and behaviour patterns. The word “resolution” too is often over used and I think misunderstood or even mis-interpreted. Actually, I think the word “resolution” is a word which has become cheapened, loosing its true meaning, and just being a word to use at a certain time of year because it has come to be expected that in January one must make a resolution.
Dictionary.com’s definitions of the word are:

1. to come to a definite or earnest decision about; determine (to do something): I have resolved that I shall live to the full.
2. to separate into constituent or elementary parts; break up; cause or disintegrate (usually fol. by into).
3. to convert or transform by any process (often used reflexively)”.

Making a resolution sounds almost as if one is being forced or coerced to do something, so final that it looses its sense of purpose. When we decide to make changes in our lives, it has to be about transformation, even evolution. It is about taking a dream, a situation, a thought an idea and wanting to do something different or even bigger with it. It is about wanting to take that situation from the place it is now to eventually a better place. It is about looking at the bigger picture, the end result and realising that whatever it is you want to achieve, or whatever place it is that you need to get to, it is going to take determination, belief, action and maybe even sacrifice and it should be about reaching that rainbow at the end of the tunnel. Transformation is not just about the here and now, a short transitionary period where results are brief and dreams fade away back into the past of the last year. Think about a caterpillar and how that transforms into a beautiful butterfly and how that process can never go back to its original form. Think about your dreams, your New Year’s “Resolutions” from that point of view and if you can visualise that beautiful vision, then you are well on your way to making something incredibly wonderful in whatever you choose to transform.

Wishing you a truly wonderful New Year

What does this Season mean for you?

Well One and All

Once again we have come to the end of another year. Many are looking forward to the festive break so they can spend quality time with family and friends. Yet what has become obvious to me over the past month, and what has probably been obvious to many for a long time now, is that the reason for this season, has simply disappeared in maelstrom of frivolity and commercialism.

Maybe it’s just that as I get older, I am seeing life from a more rounded perspective. I now think things through more, wondering and pondering at the effectiveness, the usefulness, the message behind the scenes, the tale behind the story. Maybe too, as I journey along life’s wonderful yet sometimes challenging pathway, experience and life have taught me to be cautious, to ask more questions, to delve further than what is presented on the surface.

Hence, I found myself two years ago standing back and looking at all that goes on around and before the so called Big day, trying to get a feel for what it is all really about. Certainly the birth of Christ has been lost amidst all the hype and build up.

I frequent the gym regularly and what I’ve noticed since September was the constant bombardment of spend, spend, spend, eat, eat, eat that flickered its way on the tv screens. Everything was about, excess and overindulgence. I guess it was when I saw the advert for KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) advertising their food in a festive manner, as if receiving KFC was some sort of welcomed gift that I realised that things were a little askew? There was nothing in the adverts which promoted the significance of this season or even if one is not religious, then the significance of spending time with those whom we love and cherish. There was nothing which determined what it was exactly that everyone was so fired up and stressed about. There was nothing to justify the huge amounts of money that would be spent on presents, food other than to spend, spend, spend. As always, the same old reports in the press about people getting into debt makes this whole charade even more worrying.

For me, Christmas is a time to relax with people who you trust and love. It is a time to laugh, eat good food, to find yourself again, to relax and just vegetate in front of the television, to enjoy being with people you care about. This is a time when everyone can relax without the hustle and bustle of daily life and just be. In reality I know for many, this is not the case as often times, this period can be fraught with conflict as families who do not meet often, converge onto one place and for others, there is no family or time to share with.

Yet, because this is such an individual time for us all, let us just remember one thing, whatever we believe and wherever we are. Firstly, no man is an island, and as we fill our stomachs and enjoy time with each other, just from this alone, we are truly in a good place and we should spare a thought for those less fortunate than ourselves. There are many who have passed, many who are suffering and many who do not have the privilege of being in a caring environment. So I guess the greatest gift for me is that I will be sharing this season with my two sons and my sister and my best friend. People who really mean the most to me in my inner circle.

Whatever you get out of December 25th, make it a good one and if you can find some way to give it a sense of meaning, to give back, then do so, because life is about memories, experiences, sharing and giving and we cannot ask for more than that as treasured gifts.

The Benefits of Laughter

“Laughter attracts joy, releases negativity and leads to miraculous cures”
Quote taken from The Secret

I have been reading The Secret. If anyone is really interesting in things like The Law of Attraction which is about attracting into your life whatever it is you want, then this is the book/dvd to get, as well as delving into the Bible where many of the principles from the Secret originate.

I so believe in the above statement. Laughter is truly a healer and a therapeutic ally at the best of times. Yet so many of us cannot even find it within ourselves to smile never mind laugh anymore. We have allowed ourselves to become caught up in the whirlpool of life. Always striving mentally and physically towards the next moment, never quite allowing ourselves to enjoy the present, the here and now. Many are not allowing ourselves the pleasure of just being, and taking time out from the slog of life to enjoy, even to do silly childish things.

I now teach Personal Development workshops to adults and as part of my sessions, I always incorporate a fun event which is usually an activity which we used to play as children. A favourite is the egg and spoon race. On these occasions my groups always have an enormous amount of fun. One piece of feedback that I always receive is that many people hadn’t done such activities since primary school and how much fun it was. It is always so good to see grown up women laughing and falling about themselves in hysterics as they drop the egg or go off balance. Yet life is about being, about exploring about stepping outside of the status quo and that rigid little box that keeps many of us hemmed in. Life is about being free to express ourselves in laughter and song. So below are some of the benefits of laughter which I have found.

1. When you make fun of yourself, you dis-empower those who would make fun of you and disarm possible confrontations.

2. Laughter dissolves tension, stress, anxiety, irritation, anger, grief, and depression. Like crying, laughter lowers inhibitions, allowing the release of pent-up emotions. After a hearty bout of laughter, you will experience a sense of well-being. Simply put, he who laughs, lasts. After all, if you can laugh at it, you can live with it. Remember, a person without a sense of humour is like a car without shock absorbers.

3. Medical researches have found that laughter boosts the immune system. The study of how behaviour and the brain affect the immune system is called psychoneuroimmunology. Though still in its infancy, this science is rapidly gaining much attention as mankind strives to understand the mind-body relationship.

4. Laughter reduces pain by releasing endorphins that are more potent than equivalent amounts of morphine.

5. Humor helps integrate both hemispheres of our brain, for the left hemisphere is used to decipher the verbal content of a joke while the right hemisphere interprets whether it is funny or not.

6. Laughter adds spice to life; it is to life what salt is to a hard-boiled egg.

7. Develop your sense of humour and you will find you are more productive, a better communicator, and a superior team player.

8. Everyone loves someone who can make them laugh. The more you share your sense of humour, the more friends you will have.

9. Humour brings the balance we need to get through the turbulence of life comfortably.

10. Laughter is even equivalent to a small amount of exercise. It massages all the organs of the body, according to Dr. James Walsh.

11. A sense of humour can help you accept the inevitable, rise to any challenge, handle the unexpected with ease, and come out of any difficulty smiling.


“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
George Carlin


“When you become senile, you won't know it.”
Bill Cosby


"Did you ever see the customers in health-food stores? They are pale, skinny people who look half dead. In a steak house, you see robust, ruddy people. They're dying, of course, but they look terrific.”
Bill Cosby

Growth

Dear All

I have been immersing myself in many books this past year, all to do with personal development, psychology and philosophy. This is my forte, and where the basis of all my interests lie. I am always eager to learn and understand how people work, how the universe works, how we can achieve and enjoy life to its fullest and how to help individuals reach their full potential.

For me, my life’s experiences coupled with the knowledge gained from books read and conversations had, are all helping me in the great discovery of life. This not only helps me in the understanding of knowing and understanding myself intimately but also being able to understand the workings of the human race and ultimately how to help and reach out to others.

I do not presume to be a mind reader, nor am I a qualified Psychologist, yet I find that the more I work on myself and begin to understand myself, the more I open up myself to the many possibilities the universe and God has to offer. The more I connect with this one true source and with who I am, is the more I am beginning to understand this world on a much greater basis.

I have grown so much over the past year. My journey has been an incredible one and now I am on such a spiritual level that when I am being led or guided, 95% of the time I am right with any decisions I make.

I have been going through some incredible spiritual changes, changes that have actually left me operating on another dimension, leaving me with a sharper sense of knowing, a clearer sense of who I am, of people and circumstances around me. I am now operating at a level where I am reading people, being able to see and know what is going on inside of them, knowing when things are going to happen, and knowing what to do.

Of the extraordinary experiences I have had was one where I picked up what someone else was thinking and even to the point of visualising an individual they were thinking about, describing that person in detail. I say no more on that part other than, so many of us are operating on a fraction of the possibilities that we could be more. So many of us will never be able to fathom how powerful we really are as human beings and the source of energy and abundance that God has provided us which is seated within us.

We are incredible human beings – every single one of us. Yet what I realise and always advocate is that there will be some of us who want to build empires and know what must be done to achieve this. There will be others, who are quite comfortable just reaching for the stars, not quite wanting to get there, but just wanting to dream it. Then there are those who are happy and content being where they are and this is all ok. Whatever you want in life, is yours for the taking. Whatever status you wish to hold, whatever path you want to take, however high you want to climb that mountain – you hold the keys to your destiny. Your destiny may be to be a listener, a carer, a role model, a wonderful friend to the homeless. Your destiny may be to start a campaign making people stand up and take note of something important and life threatening. Your destiny may be that of being another Dr Martin Luther King. Whatever it is, that is your piece of treasure to hold onto and cherish and work towards and remember – it doesn’t matter what status you have or how many certificates or letters you have after your name – being someone is not about materialistic status, being someone is being who you are and loving what you do and operating on a level of honesty, integrity, respect and love.

Yet, what I have realised on this journey is that being in a deeply spiritual place where one is in alignment with God, where one is in alignment with oneself on an intimate and knowing level, is a very very powerful place to be. I sense this power within me and believe me, I will have to use it wisely.

Through meditation which I do everyday now – I am able to shut myself off from the outside world and just be, in the silence or in the midst of meditative music, just be. I am therefore afforded the luxury of enjoying a calmness and peace that settles over me as I just be, releasing myself momentarily from the treadmill of life. This time also gives me the space to reflect, to delve inside myself to find answers and the ramblings of my mind – getting rid of any anxieties or negative tendencies.

On that note therefore, I would like to leave you with these wonderful quotes:

“Faith has to do with things that are not seen, and hope with things that are not in hand.”
- Saint Thomas Aquinas


“For now we see through a glass, darkly, but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.”
- I Corinthians 13: 12-13

“Every man has in himself a continent of undiscovered character. Happy is he who acts the Columbus to his own soul.”
- Sir J. Stephen

I am the fire which rises at dawn

I am the fire which rises at dawn
and greets the world with an encompassing heart
spreading the flames of love and hope
and breathing them out into the universe

I am the flame through the fire that leaps
delighting in life and sharing God’s joy
I am the source from which the fire burns
they call me Nubian, they call me Passion
they call me
Warrior Princess

I am the fire which rises at dawn
which maketh her mark in this world


Poem taken from Reflextions: Soul Stirrings
By Esther Austin, Published October 2007

For further details log onto www.emotionsintransit.co.uk OR
www.authorhouse.co.uk

Hold Fast To Dreams

Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.

American Writer, Poet and Essayist
- Langston Hughes - 1902-1967

I believe in dreams. I believe in my dreams so much so that they are now beginning to manifest into tangibles. I believe in my dreams so much so that I am living them and experiencing them on a daily basis and as I continue to strive towards achieving my vision for my life and that of my children, as I strive to give back to others and empower others, I continue to dream and live that dream.

After my sister's death last year November 2006 from breast cancer, and after having to attend several funerals this year - I am even more determined than ever to live life to the full and to achieve whatever I must and can.

For me, the beauty of this journey is not the pursuit of materialistic gain (even though my first car will be an Audi TT) but more so the beauty lies in the fact that many years ago I had a dream, I believed in that dream, I let the power of momentum carry me forward, propelled by action, dedication and perseverance and now many years later I have created something that will one day become an Empire.

That is why I so love the above poem by Langston Hughes, because it depicts so simply the value, importance and power of being able to dream. To me this is a privilege because dreams are so much bigger than we give credit to and the above poem so clearly shows how empty our lives can be without them.

Our Experiences of Life Can Change for a Variety of Reasons

Hello Everyone

Well here we are at the end of another week and another month and still my journey along this path continues to become more and more amazing.

I had the privilege of visiting St Lucia for the first time at the beginning of last month. I had an absolutely fabulous time, meeting new and wonderfully spiritual people in my short stay on the island. I formed friendships, that I know will continue for a very long time. There was a harmony between everyone I met that made me realise that the bond between mankind and the link of humanity can still be strong and genuine. Friendships were formed and forged so much so that I felt, along with others, a tremendous link of love and closeness and above all trust. This experience really affected me because in a world where most people distrust each other, this was a truly amazing experience.

I have been privileged also, to have met so many truly wonderful and genuine people this year and I believe this will continue to be so as I grow spiritually and my connection with God and myself continues to blossom. I do not have to fear from those who have ulterior agendas or who may wish to do anything against or to me, and why? Because my spirit guides me continually, paving the way for me, enabling me to make choices which are right for me and directing who I need to be in contact with and who I do not need to have in my circle of people.

But back to St Lucia - The island is a fantastic oasis of simple calm and tranquillity. It is a mountainous island of wonderfully beautiful and lush vegetation. I found the island mesmerising and this calmness floated throughout the spirit of the people there who carried the same peaceful influence.

My time out there was specifically to try to get a well deserved break, but also to look for a house which I had visualised and dreamt of for a very long time. Last year a vision came to me pertaining to the house that I would one day buy. This house would be my place of sanctuary, a place where I would be able to get away from it all, as I continue to build my empire and I found two places that 90% resembled the place in my dreams. This therefore means I will have to visit St Lucia again soon, to explore the South side of the island, to find my dream home and I believe wholeheartedly that I will find it. The feeling that this home is out there is so strong and potent in my spirit that I have actually been in the house which overlooks the sea. I have been inside the house, and experienced the house as my very own.

St Lucia certainly has changed me in many ways. I am experiencing things in my life on a higher spiritual level that I had ever imagined. I feel stronger and different and good, yet what powerfully comes to me is that I now know that I am ready for my next step up the ladder to where my destiny calls. I am so ready now to take the world by storm, and this feeling is both powerful and empowering.

Often times in our lives, our experiences shape us, change us and transform us giving us new directions and giving us new insights into life. Experiencing and visiting new places gives us new insights. Meetings new people and sharing in a community of togetherness gives us new insights. My perspective on a lot of things has changed, I have changed and as I continue to grow, as I continue to rise, what always comes strongly to my mind is this poem by Dr Maya Angelou:

“Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave
I am the dream and the hope of the slaves
I rise, I rise, I rise”

Having an Attitude of Gratitude

Hello my good people

Well, here I am after a rather long pause – life is certainly a journey of sorts. It is keeping me in line with my destiny and the work that must be done to achieve my aims and goals, is certainly keeping me busier than ever.

Many of you know I am in the process of building a business, an empire. I want to be in a place where I can leave a wonderfully positive legacy not only for my children, but for anyone who I can impact and empower. If the world gains a taste for Esther Austin, and all that she represents, and if the world can draw just one ounce of goodness and positively from what she is able to give, then I must continue this journey boldly and brashly and continue to work on myself to acquire knowledge, to acquire the spiritual acumen that will help me evolve into the person that God wants me to be.

There have been days recently, not many, but more than I would care to experience often, when I have felt quite overwhelmed with the road before me. I have therefore, been in a place where I have had to put out the call for help, as what I do begins to grow. Therefore, as a result others have been subtlety sucked into the pathway of my vision and are prepared to help me on this awesome road towards personal achievement.

I am realising something very poignant and significant and that is I am living my dream. I may only be half way up that stairwell, but believe me folks when I say I am living my dream. My spirit is leading me up this stairwell to heaven, as it has been said and it is an incredible journey.

Something that is truly inspiring is this. Many years ago, I had a dream. Yes, we can all quote Dr Martin Luther King’s wonderful “I Have a Dream” – but I too had a dream. I then put that dream into action. It became a thought process, then a concept and now it has turned into something tangible. This tangibility of concept and action and momentum will shortly be realised as a fully fledged business and then, as my spirit forecasts an empire.

I watched a programme on Channel 5 on Monday 9th October 2007 – about people suffering from Neuro Muscular Disease. To say I was inspired, is an understatement. One particular teenager on that programme, was determined without to go to University, despite his condition which required him to have around the clock care and a care assistant. Yet his belief in the freedom, as a human being to make decisions and have choices, his belief in his right to have the same chances as everyone else, was unwavering. Through his tenacity, determination and will to succeed and excel he passed I believe his Sociology Exams with all A’s. This was someone who has lost the use of his limbs, who spent his time in a wheelchair and who had to be supported with even the most basic of needs, such as brushing his teeth and to me, this achievement and even his positive and even stubborn state of mind to me , I found this all admirable.

This whole scenario showed me how privileged and lucky I was as a fully bodied individual to have all my faculties in tact, to be able to have the freedom to make choices, to be in a position where I was the master of my own destiny – made me do a reality check.

So on those days, when I am feeling overwhelmed and tired and even a little moody – I must take a step back and look at what I have to be grateful for. I must take up the mantle of gratitude even more and really give thanks for what I have in my life, right now. I know that once I adopt this frame of mind on a regular basis, I will never be in the place where I feel overwhelmed or hard done by, because by keeping things real, and by realising that everything in its own time, I will realise that I am living wonderfully and perfectly in abundance and that whatever more, is to be given to me on my plate, will materialise at the right moment in time.

If I cared More for Me AND Footprints in the Sand

If I cared for one brief moment
About myself, more than I do for others
Do you think I would realise the magnificence
Of the unique being, that God has created me to be?

If I cared for one brief moment
For myself
More than I do for the world at large
Where the tears of my existence
Are wept into pool of frustration’s palm
And my heart bleeds for the homeless, the infirmed,
The lost,
Gathering life’s painful treasures to my bosom
As if of value

When in all trueness, I should be leaving these embers
Of pain at the doorstep of God's house, leaning on my faith to sustain me
In order for change and transformation to occur?

If I cared for one brief moment
For myself
More than I do for you, my love
My children, my family
Do you think I would be able to give more
To those closest and dearest to me
In quality and not quantity of time?
Yes, I would because………as it says in Footprints in the Sand......

Esther Austin© All Rights Reserved 9th October 2007




FOOTPRINTS IN THE SAND

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?”

The Lord replied,
“The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you.”


Mary Stevenson
Copyright © 1984 Mary Stevenson, All rights reserved

How do I want to be Loved?

In order to love well and unconditionally, one must be true to oneself
So that this love can come from the well of
Pure and unadulterated abundance of giving
It has been said that the deeper we love, the more likely we are to be hurt
deeply –
But indeed I would rather love deeply and with an intensity
(Than to never love at all)
That I would feel as if my heart would burst
And where I am filled by something more than just
The sweet gurgle and gushing of love’s drama
and engaging in the flutter of the heart and eyes
Love to me is so much more


And I would rather never love at all
If only I were to be held in the momentary comfort of someone’s arms
Whose only quest is sexual gratification and a couple of
Empty phone calls whenever the mood suits
For me, love and all it’s wonderful accomplices
Such as lust, desire, a spiritual and sexual union
Companionship, friendship, intimacy - soul-mates on a journey
Of togetherness
are all to be revered and treasured and guarded most preciously
that’s what I want for my love

Presently, many of us are not all that we seem to be

Presently, many of us are not all that we seem to be
Caught up amid life’s copious complexities
We become shrouded like treacherous dark green algae
Which in a clear blue pond which simmers with the
basics of goodness
can often become hidden beneath the algae’s weight
Covering up the simple yet wonderful basics qualities
of life’s wonderful and abundant basket


Presently, therefore, we are certainly not all
That we seem to be
We often front life, like the cover on a book
Skimming the surface of time’s precious moments
Wearers of masks, not in celebration or jest or play
But masquerading as entities, otherwise not
Recognised by those around us
And often, in times of depth of thought,
We too, fail to recognise even our own shadow
Constantly hiding and submerging our true identities
Into the murky depths of that dark, green algae


Yet in order for the awareness of who we are to begin
We must first address the issue of recognition and
The awareness that we are indeed, hiding from our own selves
And the need to stand firm and tall and look into the mirror of our lives
Honestly, bravely, sometimes even fearfully
Can only lead us, further away from the superficial
taking us into the comforting and liberating
Tunnel of truth and light, where we can indulge in the
Knowledge that we need not to hide anymore
And therefore embark on a journey of true self-discovery


For the journey of life
Is an amazing kaleidoscope
Of the good and the bad, achievements and challenges
Yet, along the way, there will be times
When we will be faced with the task
Of looking inward, and sometimes looking outward
Yet the beauty of life’s challenges is that
We can always do something about our circumstances
For privileges that are afforded to us are
That we have the liberty to
Change, to renew and grow


So if you must face that mirror
Face it with a dignity and pride
In the knowing that for you
A positive change will come

Esther Austinã All Rights Reserved 2 October 2007

Some Personal Favourite Quotes about Love

“Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”


“Love isn't finding a perfect person. It's seeing an imperfect person perfectly.”
Sam Keen quotes


“I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.”
Roy Croft quotes


"Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.”
lizzie15635


“Love is when you shed a tear and still want him, it's when he ignores you and you still love him, it's when he loves another girl but you still smile and say I'm happy for you, when all you really do is cry.”

Face that Mirror

“If we were more aware of our own shadow
We would never fear to look in the mirror”

Esther Austin


Hmmm – well what can I say everyone. The above quote came to me as I was bustling down the road two weeks ago in the busyness of life, multi-tasking as well as thinking rather strategically. Evidently, the meaning to me was quite clear and once I had put it down on paper, I was a little shocked that such a short quote held such depth.

Thoughtfully, I pondered over the words that had “just” come to me in the throes of my busyness. Certainly, I had to assess and digest them because within those two sentences was a very profound message.

Quite simply, if we focussed on ourselves more, if we were more aware and honest about our own short comings, then we would have nothing to fear.

Confronting who we really are is sometimes very painful. Exposing our short-comings and other things which may be termed as “ugly” about ourselves is a very tentative place to be. Yet what I am realising as I journey along the path to self-actualisation, as I progressively work on myself through meditation, prayer, and just enabling myself to be filled with the positiveness of a source which flows from God, but also which comes from my willingness to explore within myself enabling me to change and to grow is a journey that is filling me with a satisfaction, a peace and contentment and joy which I have never really experienced before. I am finding that being grounded in really knowing “ME” and also enjoying knowing who I really am is something really amazing, because it has also opened up something else inside of me.

I feel very strongly within me, that as I grow made as I allow myself to really tune into God, the universe and allow the goodness of all this to guide me, I am now so much more perceptive and receptive. I find that I now have an understanding of things more clearly, my senses have sharpened, I tend to know things before they happen, I can pick up on the energies and sometimes thoughts of people around me. Often times, I just “know” things about other people without even knowing them.

I have journeyed for quite some time now, and especially over the past month, I know I have changed once again. I am a much stronger person, but not in an aggressive or egotistical manner. I have no need to let ego into my existence, because once a person is aware of who they truly are, then ego has not place in that format and top quietly “know” and “be” is strength in itself. Yet, I also know that this continuous growth, and for me, constantly pushing through boundaries to explore myself and to understand the world around me and to further gain an insight into life, people and generally the psychology of how we as individuals work, is a very interesting yet satisfying pilgrimage.

So, for this week I would like to plug again the book or DVD called “The Secret.” It gives an insight into how each and every one of us can have what we want in life. There is such an abundance of opportunities out there for us all, yet many times we cannot tap into this richness because of the focus of our thoughts and energies. It clearly shows us that everything that has happened in our lives has been attracted by us and our thoughts.

There is a saying “If you do the same thing all of the time, you will get the same results” – so if you are experiencing something in your life time and time again – then it’s time for a reality check.

In a nutshell, we must all strive to go through life with a spirit of unconditional love, with respect for the self because only then can we give back and respect others and taking this into consideration, this relates right back to The Law of Attraction. http://www.mindbodyspiritdirect.co.uk

Daily Buddhist Wisdom

He who for himself or others craves not for sons or power or wealth, who puts not his own success before the success of righteousness, he is virtuous, and righteous and wise.

No Man is an Island - My Mourning Has Begun

The path to self-actualisation is indeed an interesting, sometimes challenging and certainly a very reflective one. I have been on this delightful path of further self-discovery and development even more so recently. I have ploughed myself into personal development workshops, meditation. The desire to read and fill myself with the vibes of inspiration, knowledge and self-awareness has been incredibly strong. I have purchased some wonderfully enlightening CD’s and DVD’s which are all helping to feed and nourish me for the betterment of myself and in the process enabling me to empower and give back to others on a unique level. As I grow, I am feeling very different within myself. I have become more spiritually in-tune with who I am and God’s purpose for my life.

Yet, sometimes, when I think I have reached a place where I can “handle” things, that I am in a stronger place emotionally, physically and spiritually, of late, I have found myself whelming up in tears, an indicator that I have not yet fully healed. I refer to the loss of my sister, back in November 2006 to breast cancer. Up until 4 weeks ago, I was handling things quite well, so I thought, until the restless nights crept stealthily in and the memories began to flood into my consciousness again. Had I been in denial all this time and not addressed these emotions, which have been hitting me in an extraordinary powerful and painful way and of which, I have to admit to, I am struggling with?

I have always been perceived as being strong, someone who just gets on and does what I must. Maybe, this is also the perception I have given in times past, a strong independent sister, doing things for herself, when in reality, often times, I have been crying out on the inside for someplace to lean into, other than God’s hands. Some physical place, some warm and comforting human space to gather strength and love from. To be honest, at this moment in time, I am in a very lonely place, but I also feel I need and want to be here, so that I can deal with these very strong emotions of bereavement. Or maybe once again, I am in denial because that place isn’t yet there for me in the physical form?

Over the past 4 weeks, I have found it incredibly difficult to sleep, with many memories from last year, flooding my mind. Many of these memories, I have not shared with anyone, as some of them were very distressing, so maybe I am now in a place where I am working through all my emotions, ridding and detoxing myself from the past, allowing and opening up myself to the process which grieving dictates.

Often times, my pain is so knotted within the pit of my stomach that I can only release a quiet and tearful “Oh Father”, yet through this pain I realise that healing is taking place. Time – no greater healer than time can accompany me on this journey and as I go through this process, I know I will once again emerge at the other end a hopefully wiser, stronger and a changed individual.

My pain can be shared with many who have lost loved ones over the past year or so. Many have said that their pain is still great after 5 years and I would hope that in some way mine can be sated soon. And so, I find that I drive myself to work harder, hardly giving myself the time to focus, to think, to remember because the reality is that I miss my sister dearly. She was and is my best friend, my soul-mate and her presence has left a terribly empty void.

Indeed, I am in a very interesting place. On the one hand, I am growing spiritually, my intuition being honed in a wonderful way, where I can sense things and where often times I just “know” – yet on the other side, my spirit and soul weep. Yet I also realise, that as I feel her spirit leave me, as she had been very close by up until 4 weeks ago, she is providing space for someone new to enter my life. Someone who I will build that bond of friendship and love with and someone who will provide me with that sacred friendship and love on an intimate and personal level. So now I must learn to let her go.

So to conclude, I would say I am in a rather unique place. A place of learning, experiencing and growing and a place of mourning. A place where I can combine both sides of my emotional frontiers and still give thanks to the awareness of the journey I am on and what I am experiencing, because then I can feed this experience back into my life’s work, helping to empower and maybe inspired others.

What you Sow, So Shall Ye Reap

Dear All

As part of who I am and my journey in the Personal Development field and also in my quest for knowledge and to know how we as human beings operate, I thought the below summed up how many people operate. Operating as much as we can from the font of truth, can only help us to understand ourselves and others and how we can influence those around us.

I have just finished watching a very very powerful DVD, called The Secret. It talks predominantly about the Laws of Attraction and how our thoughts and emotions influence our lives. So whether we think positive or negative thoughts, these are what will manifest themselves in our lives. As Buddha says "we are what we think."

Have you ever noticed or watched someone who used to have low self-esteem, lack of respect for the self, lack of awareness about themselves, how their lives seemed to reflect that? From the job they had to the type of people in their lives? Yet, watch this same person transform as they go on a journey of personal development, as they find themselves and begin to understand themselves and empower themselves. Do you notice how everything around them changes with that new form of empowerment and confidence? This has certainly been part of my journey, many years ago when I was married. I had attracted into my life something that was not at all healthy, yet all the same, I had directed somehow, myself into that situation.

I firmly believe that what we think manifests itself so much in our lives, therefore we must be careful what we think, say and believe. It is not easy to monitor our every thought, but for the most part, we must be aware of the dangers and challenges to our lives that persistent and negative thoughts will have.

So I leave the below with you and I would like to suggest that you purchase or get a copy of "The Secret". Have a girly or lads night in, with a tub of popcorn and get inspired and empowered and become aware. Many people are living life like ostrichs, heads buried in the sand, with eyes open. It's time to release yourselves from this place and begin to enjoy the great abundance that life has waiting for you. You just have to be truthful and honest about who you are and what you are about.

Wishing you all the best always:


Understanding the dynamics of Karma or
“What you sow so shall yea reap”
If you consider yourself a person of honesty and integrity
Yet you lower yourself
To hurt those who have offended or hurt you
Then you too shall sow what you reap
And you are far removed from the table of truth

Yet someone who is self-aware
Whose spirit continually seeks and speaks after truth
Knows and understands within their hearts
That being grounded in honesty and integrity
One only needs to stand in the shadows, silent
watching as life delivers to those
their just deserves.



Esther Austin

Choosing Our Attitude

Daily Christian Wisdom

Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.


-Henri Nouwen

Taken from Beliefnet.com


Hello Everyone

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning how to dance in the rain.
— Author Unknown

I was browsing through the Beliefnet newsletter and came across the above. I thought this was a wonderful way to remind us how we can make small changes to our lives, our attitudes and it shows how simple this can be done instantly.

For me, as I always say, life is a journey. It has its highs and its lows. Yet there is not one person on earth who will not have a cross to bear at some stage or the other. Yet, the saying that "we choose or attitude" is such a potent one.

What I have come to realise, and I can only speak from personal experience is this. Sometimes the road before us is so mountainous and full of trials and tribulations that it is so easy to baulk and feel overwhelmed and let this reality of the situation overshadow ones life. Yet the way that one chooses to approach that challenging journey can make all the difference, because the reality is that you still have to walk that road regardless to if you smile or do it in anger. If you choose to do what you must with a positive frame of mind (and I must add, this is not always easy, nothing worthwhile is easy), and if you know in your heart what your outcome is, then you will cross that mountain in a much healthier and happier and progressive way (and hopefully with less wrinkles).

So take to heart the following quotes, and take time to choose your attitude more carefully, because this not only impacts on your life but also on your environment.

My grandma was always 'biding her time' until she could get to Heaven. In the meantime, her life was fairly miserable and she treated my mother abusively. I learned a valuable lesson, however: Create as much Heaven on Earth as possible with everyone near and dear.
— Chelle Thompson, Editor of Inspiration Line
Inspirational Quote from Inspiration Line 1/19/04


The world does not have to change.... The only thing that has to change is our attitude.
— Gerald Jampolsky

'You scratch my back and I scratch yours' versus 'love thy neighbour'

What does Community Spirit suggest to you all? What is unity? What is collaborative working?

To me working as part of a team, as a unit, having trustworthy supportive mechanisms being honest and genuine and having a common purpose and goal is what community spirit mean. It’s also about the importance of working for the betterment of not only the self but others as well.

Unity to me means a coming together of a diverse range of people on the foundation of trust, honesty and respect. Collaborative working to me means working together for a common purpose as one.

My journey over the past 3 months alone, has been an amazing one. As I continue to strive, build, learn and grow; as I continue to work on myself as an individual, to become more aware of who I am and what I am about; as I learn to understand how what I do and say affects not just myself, my family and friends, but also my community I am realising that just by putting out the positive vibes and by dedicating whatever I do to the betterment of others and by striving towards my dreams, that life just keeps giving back to me time and time again.

In everything I do, I aim to support, uplift and encourage others. I realised a long time ago that my purpose was to give unconditionally for this purpose and I have come to accept that as my vocation, my purpose in life. We are all called by God to serve in different ways and my calling has been cemented in knowing my purpose.

Therefore, in my drive towards something bigger than what I can visualise at this moment in time, I am aware of those who have been on the receiving end of whatever I do, who are receiving it in a positive, appreciative yet in a well needed way. Believe me, there are many wounded and lonely people out there in the big world and many are crying out just for someone to give them a smile.

Also by the same token I too have been on the receiving end of countless blessings and support. I am surrounded by a wonderfully tight yet proactive group of supportive individuals, who are helping me as I climb towards my mountaintop. Yet in the essence of all that I do, give and receive, it is this growing band of people who have come into my life to help and support me in some way of which I am so grateful for. Everyday, I give thanks for these people who offer anything from advice and support to the collaborative working on various successful projects. Yet, without giving myself, surely I would not receive back!

So I would like to leave with you that

There are many sayings which embrace this community spirit of being in each other’s corner and backbones such as:

“You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours”

“Unknown
It is amazing how much you can accomplish when it doesn't matter who gets the credit.”

“Unknown
Teamwork: Simply stated, it is less me and more we.”

”Unknown
TEAM = Together Everyone Achieves More”

“Unknown
Teamwork divides the task and doubles the success.”


I dedicate this particular blog piece to first and foremost one of my best friends, my big brother, Mr P – Read more about this gem of a man on http://www.tctk.com/, a massive thank you goes out to this man for standing by me, advising, guiding and supporting me 200%. May our friendship continue to flourish.

This is also dedicated to Errol Sergeant, Justin and Millie Lewis from Lewis Hanson Greetings, Slaine and Douglas from Playvybz Radio (www.playvybz.com), Lubna and Rehan ul-Haq, Ryan (you know who you are), Geraldine Reid, Shirley Hunte, Auntie Sybil Phoenix, Kwamme, and Delroy. A Massive thank you for your help as always

The Destructiveness of Gossip

Abandoning gossip, he abstains from gossip; he speaks at the right time, speaks what is fact, speaks on what is good, speaks on the Dhamma and the Discipline; at the right time he speaks such words as are worth recording, reasonable, moderate, and beneficial.

-Majjhima-Nikaya
From "365 Buddha: Daily Meditations," edited by Jeff Schmidt. Reprinted by arrangement with Tarcher/Putnam, a division of Penguin Putnam Inc.
I came across this as I was looking through an inspirational website called Beliefnet and was instantly able to relate to the above.

The beginning of July 2007, I went on a course. Three days into the course I wanted to scream and felt very uncomfortable and hemmed in. WHY? Because I found myself in the middle of the “gossip triangle”. I was allowing myself to get caught up in something that felt very very uncomfortable within my spirit. I have never liked gossiping and the more I grow as a person , the more I grow deep within myself and understand myself and life more, the more I grow spiritually, is the more that I become uncomfortable with “Untruths and lies” and other things which do not edify life nor spirit.

A series of events had occurred on the course to cause disgruntlement, which was understandable but by day 3 things got a little heated. There was one particular young woman, who I identified as being power mad, who felt it her duty to try to control the flow of conversation within class conversations, who tried to put over her views onto other people’s opinions and who usually had a lot to say. Yet what caused me to withdraw was the occasion of having her moan and complain and get on the gossip train about a series of things. At this point I withdrew and had to leave the table. Yet this gossiping had a rippling effect on the whole class and by the end of the day many people were suffering from headaches and the mood in the class was very despondent. Yet more potently, this gossip caused divisions within the class.

I am not saying I never gossip, because sometimes we all get sucked into things that we do not want to and I too must constantly be aware of my part in any scenario. Yet, I try to be aware of when this is happening and I try instantly to withdraw myself from any situation which could prove to be unhealthy and unsavoury.

The above situation just shows how important it is, therefore, to be aware of our beliefs and values, which all incorporate what we stand for as individuals. We need to know intimately what they are and their importance to how they impact on our lives and then the lives of others.

Beliefs, as we know, are assumed truths, things we have been told from our childhood, either by our parents, our peers, our teachers etc. Yet sometimes, these beliefs have and can become warped and unless we get to know who we are, unless we have been on a personal development journey in the quest and search to know who we are, any warped beliefs will follow us throughout our lives like a shadow, because we will not be in a place to understand nor identify then as lies.

Our values are things which are the foundation upon which our lives are built, they ground us, it’s about knowing who we are. They are things like honesty, integrity and truth. Without being aware of what we are in our beliefs and values, then we are liable to get sucked into destructive and negative forces.

The tongue is a very destructive instrument if used in the wrong context. We must be so careful what we get caught up in and what we say. For everything that life is about, it is about awareness. Awareness of self, brings one into a new dimension, it helps us to identify things which we may otherwise be blinded to. Life is a continual experience of learning and progression and awareness, so let us all try to be more aware of how our behaviour impacts not only on our lives, but on our environments as well.

The below are excerpts I have taken from the following website http://www.lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,49-1-690-7,00.html which talk further about the destructiveness of the tongue.

“The Prophet Joseph Smith deepened our understanding of the power of speech when he taught, "It is by words . . . [that] every being works when he works by faith. God said, 'Let there be light: and there was light.' Joshua spake, and the great lights which God had created stood still. Elijah commanded, and the heavens were stayed for the space of three years and six months, so that it did not rain. . . . All this was done by faith. . . . Faith, then, works by words; and with [words] its mightiest works have been, and will be, performed."1 Like all gifts "which cometh from above," words are "sacred, and must be spoken with care, and by constraint of the Spirit."2
It is with this realization of the power and sanctity of words that I wish to caution us, if caution is needed, regarding how we speak to each other and how we speak of ourselves.

There is a line from the Apocrypha which puts the seriousness of this issue better than I can. It reads, "The stroke of the whip maketh marks in the flesh: but the stroke of the tongue breaketh the bones."3 With that stinging image in mind, I was particularly impressed to read in the book of James that there was a way I could be "a perfect man."


There is a saying that goes something like this –“ Be careful what you ask for, for because you might just get it.”

The Twilight Zone

The twilight zone
A place between, betwixt, beyond
The here and now,
The forever after
Of times past, of the yesterdays
Trapped or enticed into another dimension?
For better, for worse?

The twilight zone
It could be wherever your heart is
And wherever your spirit dwells

Until you find your peace

Give Unconditionally and you will effect a change in Your life and in Others

Hello Once Again

Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver.
-- Maya Angelou

Another month is upon us and we are also half way through the year. Many of those goals we set in January must now seem a long and distant memory and are now sitting in Santa’s Bag of dreams, waiting for 2008 to happen upon us. However, I still believe that no matter what goals we have set if we have achieved some of them – great. If not, we still have time to change or pursue them. I have come to realise that life is a constantly evolving and revolving element and that whether we achieve within certain time frames or not, the beauty is that there is always the possibility to still go change, it’s just about extending that deadline. So if you have not fulfilled any of your New Year’s resolutions as yet, you still have time to go for it.

The past few weeks have seen tremendous steps forward in my life and as I progress towards my own personal goals and achievements, the beauty for me here is that in my quest forward, I am meeting a wonderful wealth of people from all walks of life and I am learning so much in the process.

Along this journey a few things have become quite obvious. One – that there are many people who are living very isolated existences, their lives have become a treadmill which is constantly going around in circles – life never quite allowing these individuals to reach any sort of plateau. Their lives have become a treadmill of early to rise and late to bed, nothing achieved on a personal level because time has been taken up with just trying to survive. J.O.B – just over broker. This lonely existence is leading many to feeling not only isolated as individuals, but isolated from their communities, their families and from humanity. This separation of self from the social causes numerous problems, from feeling depressed, low self-esteem, feeling futile etc to becoming so introverted and contained within the dark dimensions of their existence that even to do the simplest of demands is in itself heartache.

I often go on about getting involved in charity or voluntary work and the importance of giving whether of self, money, time, energy, information etc. Just in my new role as a coach and sometimes a mentor, I am beginning to realise that there are a wealth of individuals in society who are in this isolated state and lack of communication and social interaction is very common place.

For me, I have come to realise the importance of giving even on a molecular basis. A simple act of kindness can have positive resounding effects to simply make someone feel that they are important. Therefore, to give someone a smile, to offer a few words of comfort, to give someone a phone call just to say “hi” may seem small to the giver, but to the receiver, who may not have interacted or conversed with anyone throughout the transition of their day, means so much.

Yet also remember that when you give you must give unconditionally and not just for show because not only will you bless or touch the life of the one you are giving to, but you will also in some way enhance your own life and receive that feeling of satisfaction and contentment that money nor materialistic gain or objects can never attain.

As human beings, we all want to be loved and cherished. We need to feel needed and important and to experience the joy of giving, you must give and unconditionally. So I urge you today to take a look around you and rather than throw judgement/condemn or find fault take the time to really assess those around you. Often times, we wear masks that hide our pain and our inadequacies. Yet I always say look in someone’s eyes the “Windows to the Soul” and you can usually see where a person is at.

Alternatively, join a charitable organisation or voluntary group as the need out there for volunteers is great. I will be trekking the Inca Trail in Peru in May 2008, to raise funds for The Breast Cancer Haven (dedicating this event to my late sister) and to me that will be the most emotionally, physically and spiritually challenging yet rewarding experience of doing something to help make a change.

What will you do today to effect a change in your world?

In helping others, we shall help ourselves, for whatever good we give out completes the circle and comes back to us.
-- Flora Edwards

It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.
-- Mother Teresa

The Power of Self Love

Greetings All

The Power of Love
Celine Dion
All I Want To Do Is Make Love To You
Heat
Touch Me In the Morning
Diana Ross

Love songs encapsulate what we all at some point in our lives have felt in our hearts. They capture the experiences of us all in some form or another, whether it be the joy of being in love or the pain of a failed relationship.

Love songs are sung from a depth which many of us may never experience. These are songs experienced by the artists themselves who hope that in the sharing of their experiences, they can capture the imagination, hearts and loyalty of their audiences. The beauty here is that we then engage with these artists, there becomes that need to relate, to be part of their world, to share in what they are feeling and in the messages they are sending out. Therefore, in this prized place of being able to relate, we feel we are part of something bigger.

These are people who rule our world not only through their songs and lyrics, but also through the power of their music. The dynamics of love songs are profound in that they are simply in their simplicity, profoundly dynamic. They chart our journey through life, they hone in on our most intimate experiences and maybe fantasises and longings. Yet so many songs are more about the pain of love, of losing someone, of being betrayed. So therefore, does this lead us to the conclusion that often times, this perfect love, this wonderful sensation that makes our senses go wild causing us to loose touch with the here and now, sending us into the subliminal stratosphere of “lovey dovey land” where all things are just simply wonderful, yet the reality being that this is all surface stuff?

I say surface because often times, we are not true to our partners, friends, relatives because we are not true to ourselves. We experience love on a surface level and cannot have really intimate and wonderfully wholeseome relationships because we do not know who we are on an intimate and even sensual level. Friendships are courted on the periphery of materialistic and surface projections. We smile with each other and communicate with each other, yet on the other side, we hold back, not fully trusting ourselves to explore, to be truly open, to be who we really are thereby denying what we could truly have and receive. We are not being representative of truth.

Taking this all a step further, I now ask you, what is love aside from the dynamics of being in a relationship with all its complexities and varying levels of being in love, falling out of love and just being loved? And to add fire to the debate, are we really taking about love? Or is this juxtaposition of the flutter of heart with sweet talk really just light banter because the word “love” is really just a dressed up noun for sexual and frivolous alliance, which hold no profoundness or depth, and where it has become so trivialised that we actually no longer know or understand its true meaning and worth? And therefore, is this not down to something more significant?


What do I mean by this?

Aside from the relationship type of love, how many of us actually know how to love ourselves in the first instance? We all want to be loved, we all love sharing and caring and being cared and nurtured for. Love is an all encompassing wonderful thing to have and feel. Yet often times, we serve others with this treasured gift, we continue to give and offload this wonderful wealth of something that is truly all encompassing and God given yet how often do we feel neglected, empty and void within our own spirits? This then leads to many of us wearing masks, acting out life on a surface arena. In neglecting ourselves, by not loving ourselves we become shadows of who we really are and this manifests itself in how we then perceive the outside world, and our expectations from life are lowered or even diminished. Our dreams become a fleeting and fading phenomena and we live life as one without purpose and vision.

It’s time for us to truly realise and believe that we all need to love ourselves completely and unconditionally. It is only then that we can truly effect the world with what will then exude from us a wonderfully positive feeling of satisfaction and wholeness that loving ourselves brings.

I am not talking about vanity or the pampering of our egos but the nurturing of our very own selves, our souls and our spirits. Learning to love oneself then gives us a wonderful empowerment that centres us and stabilises us at our very core, enhancing who we are as unique individuals. We then become incredible human beings with wonderful potential not only to excel and achieve on a materialistic and successful level but more importantly on a spiritual and intimate level. We then can enjoy and appreciate life in a totally new and fulfilling realm.

Only then will we be able to make our mark on the world. No journey is and without its challenges. Yet the journey to self-love and appreciation is one that I would encourage many of you to find and follow.

I would also suggest, and I am sure many of you may not welcome this, but for one moment, step outside of your belief, your religion and yourself and look at WHO you really are. Take a good long look in that mirror and face what is reflected back at you. Yes God loves us and many of us live for him and the purpose he has put for us in our lives. Yet, sometimes, we use religion and our belief as cloaks to hide behind, as excuses. We sit in church week in week out, listening to the word, being empowered by the word, yet one we step outside into the “world” we let the arms of fear inhibit us immobilising us, causing us to live a life of complacency and mediocrity and all those negatives such as self-doubt, intolerance, negative talk, negative self-talk come running back to sit on our shoulders like sentries. So for once in your life, if you feel the desire to, try to strip away that mask and look deep into your soul to discover who you really are and what you really want out of life. Do a detox to not only cleanse yourself but also to find out the beautiful person you could be and then start your journey towards being that person and enjoy a totally new lease of life whilst also enjoying and experiencing relationships on a new plateau.


“Learning To Love Yourself

Most of you have probably heard Whitney Houston sing the words "learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all," and so it is. I believe it is what all of us need, yet it's what so few of us truly have. How is it that we don’t love ourselves--and how do we learn to love ourselves? “

Further reading on this can be found on http://www.4therapy.com/consumer/life_topics/article/6713/489/Learning+To+Love+Yourself

For information on spiritual retreats/courses/events – take a look at:
The Brahma Kumaris World Spiritual University
http://www.globalretreatcentre.org.uk

Respect and Honour - For Each Other and Community against Community

Dear All

The below quotes follow on from my previous article. Whatever culture, whatever the people, repsect and honour are two of the foundations to buidling up our cultures and preserving integrity.


"You cannot believe in honor until you have achieved it. Better keep yourself clean and bright: you are the window through which you must see the world."
Sir Walter Besant


"Never give in! Never give in! Never, never, never. Never -- in anything great or small, large or petty -- never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense." Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill

"There is no calamity which a great nation can invite which equals that which follows a supine submission to wrong and injustice and the consequent loss of national self-respect and honor, beneath which are shielded and defended a people's safety and greatness."
Grover Cleveland

The Big Brother Issue - As a Community we Need to Make a Stand

Greetings and Solicitations Everyone

“A contestant from the Big Brother house was evicted today for using a racist epithet, in the latest scandal to hit the Channel 4 reality show. Emily and Charley were dancing together in the living room when Emily used the word in an apparently light-hearted manner. Rather than react angrily, Charley responded by pointing out that her actions were likely to get her in trouble.
Emily was called into the diary room at 3.30am this morning and told to leave the reality show immediately.” Excerpt taken from http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/tv_and_radio/article1898239.ece

Thoughts to ponder. The above incident certainly caused much debate generally. Chat shows and phone-ins were inundated with incensed callers, a plethora of blogs and other online forums too vented furious debate, the papers of course had their field day - debate, debate, debate. Once again this incident brought back the Shipla Shetty race row which caused uncomfortable and angry ripples worldwide. Yet as I listened, and maybe I have become desensitised, I refused to get angry at Emily or other ignorant individuals who use the word liberally I got angry at us. Why? you may well ask, simple fact. We have allowed ourselves once again to become the puppets at the hands of anyone who has a string to pull and I was struck by how many people felt the same as I and that is to some extent, we as a black community had to take some responsibility for the Big Brother contestant feeling it was ok, to mention the “n” word in what is described above in a “light-hearted” manner. For me, this word should not even be in out vocabulary because of what it represents.

How many times do we hear rap artists blazing their perceived glory of nonsense into our children’s lives and minds using the “n” word? Standing like glorified buffoons in hypothetical salutation of pride (their Oscar of Ignorance) gold dripping from every crevice of their muscle bound bodies, ranting and raving using the “n” word and disrespecting women? Hardly able to smile through a mouth of gold encrusted teeth, they face the world with fierce expressions, the new studious and educated look of knowledge!! Little do they realise that within the body and context of their so called “songs” using only two or three syllables does not make for good music nor any form of intelligence.

These artists, though powerful and maybe even classed as successful, money burning the lining in their pockets, girls on every arm, offering a false sense of purpose and vision to our misguided youth are partly to blame. They laud over our tv screens, controlled and dictated to by the powers that be, rapping using derogatory messages which rolls easily off their tongues, yet causing an uneasiness amongst the more educated and knowledgeable within our community. As if we do not have enough battles of our own by trying to keep our youth on the straight and narrow by offering them more positive viewpoints on life, and trying to educate them about our history and identify role models which they can look up to? If you are keen to notice, these artists never actually refer to themselves as “N…”s but they slyly use it as a term of endearment when talking about and addressing their “bruvas” as if this represents solidarity or a cohesive union of brotherhood.

How often do we hear this word used liberally on the streets by our own black boys (and sometimes by others outside our culture) and more distressing adults. It seems that 2005/6 were the years when the “n” word became “hip, ” and using it somehow elevated individuals into a kind of superior social status. It was often disturbing to see this sort of behaviour with brothers greetings each other with a “whatz up N….” and laughing like monkeys who had been thrown nuts full of dynamite, but not yet fully realising that there was a possibility that this nut would explode in their hands sooner or later. I even noticed my sons used it a few times when greeting their friends, caught up in the delusional sphere of youth culture and “following the crowd” but you know I had to put a stop to that, with some very serious lectures and some strong verbal breakdowns of what the word meant, its connotations and requesting them to go-online and do some research. They got the picture and haven’t gone there since.

So in effect, how can we expect anyone to take us seriously, when we use this word freely amongst ourselves, with liberal frivolity, seemingly ignorant about the true meaning and far-reaching implications of using such a word, which is so derogatory and which stood for so much pain, humiliation. No wonder often times, we are the laughing stock and not taken seriously, because of our own failings. How can we expect other cultures to RESPCECT us when all the above dynamics are in place? I say no more on this score, but leave the below with you, for further ponder and thought.

Regardless to culture, it is about making a stand and not accepting certain things which have serious messages and connotations behind them. When the Shilpa Shetty row broke out, there were fierce demonstrations in her homeland and within the political arena – these people made a stand advocating that this sort of behaviour would not be tolerated and I am sure that many people would be very very careful in the future if they found themselves in this situation because they’d realise there would be consequences.

There have been many comments by individuals online who have stated that “the word was not said in malice and as black people we should get a life and move on” – my point here is this: whether the “N” word is used or any other negative, derogatory words which are used to depict ANY culture which have serious connotations, people should make a stand. There are boundaries in life which are set and there are certain places people just should not go and because we have embraced this pushing of the boundaries, that is why people think it is “light banter and ok” to be using words which should be banned from out vocabularly. Whether they be words against the Asians, Europeans, Africans etc, it is about making a stand and letting other people realise that as a people, as a community there is something called RESPECT and that using certain words are just not on. It is anyone’s right to challenge the mindset of using certain words with frivolity.

For more information

“The history of the word nigger is often traced to the Latin word niger, meaning black. This word became the noun negro (black person) in English, and simply the color black in Spanish and Portuguese. In Early Modern French niger became negre and, later, negress (black woman) was unmistakably a part of lexical history. One can compare to negre the derogatory nigger and earlier English substitutes such as negar, neegar, neger, and niggor that developed into its lexico-semantic true version in English. It is probable that nigger is a phonetic spelling of the white Southern mispronunciation of Negro.

No matter what its origins, by the early 1800s it was firmly established as a degenerative nickname. In the 21st century, it remains a principal symbol of white racism regardless of who is using it. Social scientists refer to words like nigger, kike, spic, and wetback come from three categories: disparaging nicknames (chink, dago, nigger, etc); explicit group devaluations ("Jew him down" or "niggering the land"); and irrelevant ethnic names used as a mild disparagement ("jewbird" for cuckoos having prominent beaks or "Irish confetti" for bricks thrown in a fight).

http://www.aaregistry.com/african_american_history/2420/Nigger_the_word_a_brief_history

I’d therefore like to leave the following with you for further thought, hoping that we do not continue to be the monkey as described below:

TEACHING TALE

“A monkey whilst swinging through the forest one day spied a glass bottle glinting far below. Excited, he made his way down and saw that it contained a huge tasty looking nut. He put his hand through the neck of the bottle and grasped the nut. He pulled and pulled but despite his efforts his hand just would not come out of the bottle. When he tried to run away with the bottle he found it was tied to a tree.

Just then he heard a man approaching through the forest. Despite his increasing fear, the nut captivated him with its promise of rich flavour. He pulled and pulled but to no avail and so the greedy monkey was caught.”

"Let Go and Just Move On" - But is it Really that Easy

Hello again

Today, I’d like to touch on a phrase which nearly everyone I come into contact with seems to use on a very frequent and liberal basis. This set of words is almost clichéd and I have wondered at its usage, and whether people really think about what it means in its full context Or if we, as a society are so cold and bold that we mean this phrase really is as it stands.

The term I am talking about is called “let go, just move on.”

After talking to someone over the weekend and hearing this particular phrase again, I actually took time to stand back from the conversation reflecting on the many other conversations I have had in the past where this phrase was mentioned.

Many times when we experience something in our lives that falls apart or does not materialise how we expect it to or a separation is involved/someone close dies or a job/ event does not go according to plan, the phrase often applied to the scenario is “learn from it and move on.” Hmmm – in other words my dear folk the scenario that comes to mind is just like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, she just clicked her little red shoes together and hey presto, she was back in Kansas. Yet life does not work like that, we cannot just get rid of an emotion, just like that as if the past never existed nor happened. Life is about processes. For some people it may take a short time to get over an incident/relationship for others, it can take a lot longer and for others still, the process of healing never really takes place.

Now in many contexts, this can be a true statement. Learning from an experience, reflecting, analysing and moving on certainly are the credentials for growth and ultimately change. Yet how often do many of us find the process of change a difficult journey? How many times do some of us struggle to just “let go and move on” as if whatever has happened did not play a major and significant part in our lives for a very long time?

Is it really so easy to just put something behind you/a relationship that has gone sour/an opportunity that did not materialise etc behind you with the click of a finger as if to say “oh well, that was that, what next?” as if time spent with that person or in that situation had somehow never happened?

Moving on is certainly the best thing to do, but in that alone, there is a process and certain dynamics are also at work here as well. As you move on, this should be a time of growth, a time to heal and a time to look forward to the future. Yet sometimes the future throws up things at you and it certainly has a funny way of sometimes, pulling you back towards something, which you thought had been buried. There the three scenarios which I see are:

v Moving on from a situation because there is no turning back and one looks forward to new horizons;

v Moving on and having regrets for doing so;

v Moving on from a situation, allowing the healing process to take place, each individual working on each other, creating a different individual to the one who lived before the experience that eventually changed their life. This then allowed for the re-emergence of both individuals on different levels which allows you both to get back together stronger and on higher level playing field;

Everything in life is about processes, a format, a structure. Life is about evolution, regardless to whether it is about relationships, careers, health. To evolve is about constant growth and change, leaving one place of time leading into another and hopefully arriving at a more healthy, positive place.

So next time you go to tell someone to “just move on and get on with it” think about their situation a little more, maybe empathise with them and see if that phrase is really relevant and helpful. Because when people are in a place where you think they need to “just move on” that is the time when they need all the support they can get and a shoulder to cry on in order for them to “just move on.”

Time for Change - Disrespectful Youth? - Is it time for us adults to turn vigilante?

Dear All

I really felt the need to share the below with you. It is about an incident on the bus today which left me incensed. All I have to say is this, it's time to change strategy. Out youth need to recognise, they cannot get away with things anymore, but as always, it's how do we tackle this.

“The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all men, charity.”
Benjamin Franklin quotes

I feel I have to share this episode with you purely because I am so incensed by what I have just witnessed. This is not to say that I have not witnessed such disgraceful behaviour before, because it comes in many guises from being verbally abusive, spitting, to physical confrontation, yet all the same disgusting and simply “degrading.”

Today I was heading to an appointment for 1pm. Three stops after getting on the bus, three men got on. One went upstairs the other two stayed downstairs. The driver called after one of the young men, who incidentally, had his mobile phone in his hand with music blaring out, as if anyone really needs to hear his crap. After calling several times, the bus driver then killed the engine. There was a wait period of about 10 minutes until the young man came downstairs, obviously realising that he was in the wrong. He confronted the driver stating “make me get of the bus, then, make me get off the bus.” Obviously in his arrogant and ignorant state, he knew he was in the wrong and as he got off the bus he SPAT at the driver.

Peeps, and I really am not ashamed to say this. If I had a brick at the time, I would not have hesitated to throw it.

Not only was I fuming by now because I had missed my appointment but more so I was fuming because I was incensed at such tactless and disrespectful behaviour. The way I see it is this: yes there are a number of problems facing our youth. Yes, as many say the system is against them. Yes there are facts to prove this. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT – I don’t give a flying rat, regarding where these youth are coming from and what they’ve got against them. I don’t give a monkey’s banana about all the other plausible excuses that we have for them, the fact of the matter is this:

Regardless to where you have come from and who you are or what you have experienced, RESPECT and MANNERS are something which should be innate. People are pushing the boundaries of life everyday. I cannot only just blame the youth because often times, you look on the home front and there are some serious issues going on there. But let’s just level this up. Respect and manners are two key, absolute key components that make up the boundaries in society of which we all bounce off. Without these in place, society deteriorates into the cauldron of bedlum. Someone shouted out to the youth that “he should be in school.” My stance, if I was a bigger and better person, he would’ve found his carcass in a hospital bed.

Let me also make it plain here. I have two boys and I am becoming more and more aware of how difficult it is for our young black men, but the fact of the matter here is they are not making things easier for themselves neither. I am conscious of so many dynamics surrounding having boys and it is absolutely key, that I try my utmost to, and if I must, impose certain restrictions on them so they know there are certain places they cannot go.

Society is falling into the pit of degradation, in fact it is almost there. We need to bring back into our lives, our communities, our families, those BASICS that have kept and held us as a people for so long a time. It is these fundamentals such the below which in their simplicity are the bedrock of society and humanity’s progression into a higher state of being.

v Respect
v Manners
v Discipline
v Courtesy
v Politeness
v Faith

I am tired of the excuses we are giving for the behaviour exhibited by our youth. I am really, really and if I may use the word “pissed off” with such a LACK of consciousness about the above basics.

Yet as always, we go back to the same thing “What is the solution”

If I had my way, every offence committed would mean these individuals would be stripped bare, maybe leaving their underpants on, put in the town centre and made an exhibition and example of. Strip away their arrogance and ignorance with shame. Strip them bare physically, challenge them that this behaviour will not be accepted and there are consequences. Walking the street as if they are vigilantes will no longer be a game, it will require a backlash from parents, conscious adults. The sweet pillow talk thing will be a thing of the past. I think it is time to get radical, because every day I step outside my door, I come home feeling angry and despair.

“Treat others as you want them to treat you because what goes around comes around”

“If you think you can you can. If you think you can’t you are right” Mark Twain

Hello Peeps

“Believe nothing just because a so-called wise person said it. Believe nothing just because a belief is generally held. Believe nothing just because it is said in ancient books. Believe nothing just because it is said to be of divine origin. Believe nothing just because someone else believes it. Believe only what you yourself test and judge to be true. [paraphrased]” Buddha

“We are what we think” Buddha



“Believe nothing just because a so-called wise person said it. Believe nothing just because a belief is generally held. Believe nothing just because it is said in ancient books. Believe nothing just because it is said to be of divine origin. Believe nothing just because someone else believes it. Believe only what you yourself test and judge to be true. [paraphrased]” Buddha

“We are what we think” Buddha

“If you think you can you can. If you think you can’t you are right” Mark Twain

For me, the above conjures up a wealth of thoughts. Often times I like to go off into my own little world and just think, analyse and reflect on life. For me it is important to gain a perspective on life, to gain an insight of how we do things, why we do things and why things happen. Life is a myriad of experiences and our emotions can be catapulted from one dimension to another within the span of even a few seconds and by circumstances that we are never quite ready for. Yet it is also a journey of sort and a learning curve.

Other times, life has a really interesting way of just “being” or “Happening”. The unexpected can happen, people, things, circumstances which we had previously closed a door on, given up on or even forgotten can somehow miraculously materialise and remain a part of our lives forever. So I am now learning to accept that whatever will be will be and rather than trying to force my own agenda on life because I am scared of letting go, I am learning to have confidence and faith in my intuition. I have also found that now that I am a practising life coach, and having attended a range of personal development courses from Emotional Intelligence to NLP and immersed myself in a plethora of personal development material, I am so much more aware of how life really works at its core and also of the plethora of techniques and tools on hand to help make life’s journey that much easier.

For me, life is a constant learning curve. An ever revolving and evolving door. Evolution of time, of being, of person – constantly changing and moving on. The question here then is? Are we always prepared and ready for such change and what are the factors that can hinder us? Life and the universe will always continue to move forward, yet many times, we, as human beings (as human nature goes) often remain stagnant, static and unchanging. Fear, tending to sit in the background, hindering us, it’s small voice constantly challenging our need and desire to become fulfilled, to attain self-actualisation, the progressive medium of all things to where life for us can be just that little bit happier, fulfilled and content.

This therefore brings me back to the above quotes in terms of what we believe and what we think about. Beliefs are assumed truths. They are not facts. They are pieces of information fed to us over the years from birth by various people, from our parents, teachers to friends and of which we have internalised. Yet, sometimes along life’s journey we get to a place where our beliefs no longer work for us and these are times, when we need to challenge them, unpick them and realign them with new positive beliefs.

Our thoughts, beliefs and what we verbalise literally transcend into our lives in a very real way. Many people do not realise the crucial importance of the words and thoughts which they feed into their lives, their environment and their destiny. I believe the following quote certainly says it all: “Be careful what you ask for, you might just get it”.

The above therefore ties in with this saying “We are what we think all day long” (Buddah). Beautiful don’t you think in the context of liberating our minds from the shackles of negative mindsets and warped beliefs. Yet sometimes, we are not even aware of these limited beliefs and mindsets, and how they play a pivotal role in our lives. Yet once the revelation and awareness of these beliefs occurs within our consciousness, and once we realise the importance of working to change those limiting beliefs then the world can certainly be our oyster and as a personal life coach, it certainly is challenging yet interesting working with clients on unravelling limiting belief systems. Yet the beauty also is that once worked upon putting them back together in different yet positive dimensions is truly inspiring.

Over the past few weeks I have been forced to do more soul searching as my spirit has become restless again. This restlessness I now realise keeps surfacing because I am not being true to who I really am and who I really want to be. Also I realise that in a small way I am fearful of the greatness within me and so in small ways, I try to sabotage or procrastinate about things. The Poem called “Fear” by Marianne Williamson which you can view on another page of my blog sums up this fear. It is also because I have discovered that I am limiting myself in a small way which is hindering a major part of me that wants to be free to just “be”. Sometimes, I find I have a tendency to hide behind a mask of rigidity. This restlessness, I believe, is because at my very core, the very seed of who I am, is still being denied that opportunity to surface and rise because of my own battle with fear. Therefore, as a result I believe that I am not operating at my fullest capacity in terms of what I could really achieve. You may well state, “But you are a personal life coach, you should have all the answers.” Well, even a life coach needs a life coach.

After some soul searching I realised that a few of my old beliefs were still playing hide and seek with me, causing fear to try to sabotage the very foundation upon which I was building a very successful business but more importantly, trying to sabotage the incredibly large amount of holistic work I had done on myself. My own personal development was suddenly under threat. Yet the more this realisation dawned on me the more determined I became to continue to change my life by working on these limiting beliefs and one way to help me along this road was for me to get my own personal life coach to help support me on this journey. Being my own personal guinea pig was also a learning curve for me, in terms of honing my skills and bringing about an awareness of this subject, which would be very useful when dealing with clients.

The inner me is very much a risk-taker. A passionate, spontaneous human being. Someone not wanting to be tied to the conventional, nor the status quo. Someone who has a very free spirit and who wants to roam, explore, experiment and enjoy life at its maximum. I know that my spirit will guide me and keep me within the limitless boundaries that life dictates, so I know I will not venture into anything that could be catastrophic. Yet I must change some of my beliefs in order to move forward. I must start to unpick them one by one and replace them with more positives.

So once again I have decided to further this journey of self-discovery, which I personally find is a wonderful experience. It is a must and one that I know will reap even better benefits. Having a life coach along the way is a tremendous bonus not only for my own personal growth but for the experience of being on the other side of the table. Also I have just become a Personal Life Coach and to me, my own personal journey has enriched what I can personally give back to my clients.

I share the above with you all, because of this incredibly wonderful, interesting yet sometimes challenging journey called life – the will to help and empower others is certainly a goal worth reaching for and something about which I am totally passionate about. I have coached six people now and the feeling of satisfaction is empowering. To be in a position to watch people’s lives transform. To be part of their journey. To be in a position where confusion, uncertainty and despair is turned into a gleaming smile and where hope finally surfaces makes my journey as a new life coach all the more exciting, poignant and important.

And on that note, I embrace this very intrepid yet satisfactory journey as I join the army of Personal Life Coaches who are changing and transforming lives and I believe this all ties in quite nicely with my own personal strap line:

Aspire to Inspire – Dare to Dream