"Let Go and Just Move On" - But is it Really that Easy

Hello again

Today, I’d like to touch on a phrase which nearly everyone I come into contact with seems to use on a very frequent and liberal basis. This set of words is almost clichéd and I have wondered at its usage, and whether people really think about what it means in its full context Or if we, as a society are so cold and bold that we mean this phrase really is as it stands.

The term I am talking about is called “let go, just move on.”

After talking to someone over the weekend and hearing this particular phrase again, I actually took time to stand back from the conversation reflecting on the many other conversations I have had in the past where this phrase was mentioned.

Many times when we experience something in our lives that falls apart or does not materialise how we expect it to or a separation is involved/someone close dies or a job/ event does not go according to plan, the phrase often applied to the scenario is “learn from it and move on.” Hmmm – in other words my dear folk the scenario that comes to mind is just like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, she just clicked her little red shoes together and hey presto, she was back in Kansas. Yet life does not work like that, we cannot just get rid of an emotion, just like that as if the past never existed nor happened. Life is about processes. For some people it may take a short time to get over an incident/relationship for others, it can take a lot longer and for others still, the process of healing never really takes place.

Now in many contexts, this can be a true statement. Learning from an experience, reflecting, analysing and moving on certainly are the credentials for growth and ultimately change. Yet how often do many of us find the process of change a difficult journey? How many times do some of us struggle to just “let go and move on” as if whatever has happened did not play a major and significant part in our lives for a very long time?

Is it really so easy to just put something behind you/a relationship that has gone sour/an opportunity that did not materialise etc behind you with the click of a finger as if to say “oh well, that was that, what next?” as if time spent with that person or in that situation had somehow never happened?

Moving on is certainly the best thing to do, but in that alone, there is a process and certain dynamics are also at work here as well. As you move on, this should be a time of growth, a time to heal and a time to look forward to the future. Yet sometimes the future throws up things at you and it certainly has a funny way of sometimes, pulling you back towards something, which you thought had been buried. There the three scenarios which I see are:

v Moving on from a situation because there is no turning back and one looks forward to new horizons;

v Moving on and having regrets for doing so;

v Moving on from a situation, allowing the healing process to take place, each individual working on each other, creating a different individual to the one who lived before the experience that eventually changed their life. This then allowed for the re-emergence of both individuals on different levels which allows you both to get back together stronger and on higher level playing field;

Everything in life is about processes, a format, a structure. Life is about evolution, regardless to whether it is about relationships, careers, health. To evolve is about constant growth and change, leaving one place of time leading into another and hopefully arriving at a more healthy, positive place.

So next time you go to tell someone to “just move on and get on with it” think about their situation a little more, maybe empathise with them and see if that phrase is really relevant and helpful. Because when people are in a place where you think they need to “just move on” that is the time when they need all the support they can get and a shoulder to cry on in order for them to “just move on.”