We Attract unto us What we are - The Men and Women in my Life

As mentioned in my previous posting, I am at a place of change again. Always conscious of the shifts that take place within me.

Over the past two weeks, challenging as they may have been, what has helped to strike a balance are the following which have taken the edge off these challenges.

I met a friend last week who has recently come back from Zimbabwe as he had a gift for me. I have a wonderful yet close body of friends who love the outdoors and who love to walk and converse on a conscious and spiritual level. We reflect and evaluate life from all perspectives and the deep level of conversations that we have are always enlightening and informing. So it was nice to walk and talk and hear of his experiences in Zimbabwe and the friendships he formed and the opportunities that have come his way. Yet if you met the gentleman, you can see why he attracts good things his way. He has a strong sense of self, he gives unconditionally and his focus is not on reaping material gain, but on reaching out and helping others and in the helping and caring for he receives back and for each person in my life the same is true. For those who are not yet there, only time will tell and some I know will fall to the wayside. In the bible it states about everything being for a reason and a season.

I had some shopping to do and it was such a pleasant feeling when he paid for my groceries and carried my bags home. A few days later, I went to see a friend of mine who owns a shop in Catford where I purchased some CD’s and he gave me some free. Men hold doors open for me and greet me with a wonderful level of respect. I receive hugs and compliments constantly when we greet each other, and I am content in the knowing that because the “genuine intent” of those around me is about honesty and integrity and respect – that level of communication can never be mis-construed as anything else. Yet what I realise is that, when one has respect for oneself – one can only receive the same from others and also when individuals are grounded in who they are and in their self-worth. So on this level, I have to expect this level of wonderful treatment from the person who will share my life, eventually.

As I am allowing myself to open up more to the abundance that lies in store for me, I am drawing some wonderfully dynamic people into my arena. My female friends are wonderfully spiritual, supportive and caring individuals and as a collective, myself included, look out for each other with an unconditional love and respect that forms bonds and eternal friendships. My relationships with my male friends too have an incredible respectful unity, and are very supportive. Yet the key here is also that this is not a one-way street, because reciprocally, we all look out for each other. The beauty is that like attracts like and in that process, even though many of us are building businesses and are going to be incredibly successful, we still take time out for each other, in our busyness, because no man is an island. What is even more important is that for those who do not take time out to nurture relationships along the way, as they build, often times when the building is complete, they find that people have shifted and changed and as the saying goes “You never know what you’ve got until it’s gone.”

We attract unto us what and who we are and in that summary, as I continue to grow and evolve, as I continue to understand more of who I really am and put God first in everything I do and say, then I know he will always put the right people in my life at the right time. These individuals, at the time, may not always serve, to us what is a positive experience, but believe me they are there for a reason and like I’ve said before, there are no good or bad experiences, per se, just experiences – the importance is in the learning and what you do with the messages you receive.
Also remember that whatever you focus on, you will receive. So if you focus something positive or negative, that is what you will draw unto you.

I have had to learn to shift some of my thinking, because I have been drawing lack until myself in a few areas of my life. But now that I am equipped with the knowledge and understanding of how “what we ask for we get” works, I know that God has some dynamic things lying in store for my life.

On that note I would like to leave with you a quote which sums up everything:

“If we were more aware of our own shadow, we would not be afraid to look in the mirror” Esther Austin

I'm Taking Time out to get to Know Me Again

Recently, I have been going through some more changes and shifts within myself.
As always life is an ever evolving series of challenges and experiences. An ever revolving door of many experiences and dynamics which whether we classify them as “good” or “bad” experiences, represent experiences as a whole. Therefore, if being of a higher consciousness and having an innate awareness of ones self, what is key about such experiences is the learning from them and the messages that come from that learning.

I am very tired at the moment, mentally and emotionally. I have been burning the midnight oil at both ends and to a certain degree this is to be expected as I build my empire. Yet, I have also made great in-roads in learning to take time out for me, to have some quiet time. I try to pray and meditate for at least 20 minutes in the morning, every day –I find this sustains and grounds me for my day ahead.

Yet since coming back from Peru, my body has felt a little heavy and tired and I have felt particularly challenged over the past two weeks especially. As always, when I sense a shift within myself or the need to dig deeper within to see what is really going on inside of Esther, I get down on my knees and pray then I meditate. In the stillness of being, this is when answers come to me and time and time again the message to “Be still and know that I am God” and “Stand firm in who you are, Esther” is given to me. These messages after careful thought and reflection often tell me that I need to really take time out, not just a mere 20 minutes here and there but at least half an hour of just being still, not even to meditate nor pray. This quiet time is so that I can re-charge and allow myself to channel into the depth of me, where my thoughts can roam free and I can just “be” in that space for that particular period of time.

I realise I have made some profound achievements this year – yet I have lost a little of myself in the process i.e confidence and self-belief. At present, I am operating at around 65% of my real capacity.

I went for Reiki treatment today as someone kindly offered to give me some healing treatment, because she sensed I needed to be pampered. My back has been aching for a while and this has proven to be a manifestation of worry about something in my life at present. What came out of the consultation session was amazing. Everything that had manifested itself to me in my meditations over the past two weeks was revealed at this session and the most shocking thing to me, even though subconsciously I knew, was that I needed to work on building confidence, trust and love in and with myself. I needed to take a step away from the daily rigor of life and address “Who is Esther?” “What does Esther want from life?” “How can Esther really learn to love herself 100% again?” and “Do the people, situations and circumstances in my life serve me?” I had to answer “No” a few times, realising that if I want the best out of life, if I want what is best for my children and I then I have to let go and let God and understand that whoever or whatever God has got planned for my life, will be the best thing for me.

Somewhere in between the hurrying and scurrying and building and looking after and caring and nurturing of business, children and others, I had lost a part of me and now feeling drained and weary my body was saying to me, time out.

I will be going away for a brief period shortly and I will not be taking my laptop or work with me. I will be taking a few books and lots of music and I will begin to journal my feelings and the new experiences I know will happen to me as I find “me” time and as I learn to value and truly appreciate Esther for who she really is. I will be doing a lot of reflecting and sometimes even just sitting and just “being” me in that moment. I will also be going out and enjoying myself, tapping into the more adventurous side of me and allowing myself to be taken out and treated like the Goddess that I truly am.

I am not even waiting until I reach where I am going to start this new journey, but am starting this adventure now and you now what, it feels great and liberating already. I want to experience life with all its abundance and fullness. I now know more clearly than ever what and who I want in my life and only the best will do. I now feel a sense of relief that being open to the truth about who I am and having an awareness of what I need to work on, is helping me on my incredible journey through life.

Like Whitney Houston Sang “Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all” – and I’d better believe it.