Sometimes, we need to read prayers like the one below to realign ourselves with the simple realities of life. I found this so profound and lovely and it helped me to put a few things about myself back into perspective.
It is not always about self, but about others. As sometimes, I have found when I talk about an opportunity. I must realise that it is not by my doing by God's will be done. I am just a vehicle. It is about letting God guide us and lead us so that in this humble state, we can never and should never seek to fulfill and nuture only the self.
For the beauty in life is to give and love unconditionally. Briefly... The year before I tried to put up barriers in terms of how I felt about an individual and yes, my defences had been up for a long time. Yet I found myself being drawn to this individual and I was fighting it. Yet with this internal struggle God spoke to me to say, be patient and love unconditionally. And yes, I struggled even more with this as I had been hurt quite badly a few years before and did not want to go there again.
As I tried to pull away and hide my feelings and even try to sabotage my feelings, God kept on telling me to be patient and to allow myself to love openly and unconditionally as this was something that was within me, only I was too scared to let all this pent up love within me fly free. And you know what? I am glad that I listened to that still small patient voice, and that I did not sabotage or push that person away because I am now in a place that feels good, where I can express myself to this person and where I know that for now, loving unconditionally in God's time, - I wont get hurt and that in his time, he will honour us with what we deserve and it is such a wonderful feeling. And to be quite honest, I believe that I have found my soul-mate. I had always asked God to provide me with not just a partner and in time a husband, but someone who is a friend and a soul-mate. I was not and am not prepared to accept anything less and God has honored that, yet at the same time, I must continue to hold onto God and listen to him, because sometimes people are in our lives for a season and for a reason.
Therefore, I would like to leave this with you.
Make Me an Instrument of Your Peace
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love,
Where there is injury, pardon
Where there is doubt, faith,
Where there is despair, hope,
Where there is darkness, light,
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much
seek to be consoled as to console,
not so much to be understood as to understand,
not so much to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
it is in dying that we awake to eternal life.
- St. Francis of Assisi
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